It's the Unknown That Sucks

Since I've talked to a lawyer and the initial request isn't for custody, it's for Joint Managing Conservatorship (aka Legal), I'm at a loss. It's not knowing WTF he has planned in the future that worries me. is he thinking he'll catch up on the money he owes, get possession, and then file for physical custody saying he's been involved his his rearing since birth? Did he try to put a geo restriction on my county in hopes of saying I'm not financially capable of caring for him? Of course, then I could say, "I'd be able to support him better in Austin, Houston, or Dallas."

Is he looking at his Russian mail order bride and going, "Hmmmm if I get H, then I'll have ready made family."

It goes on and on in my head. And my family tells me to get over it. I wish it were that simple. I don't think I'll ever get over it. I think the fear will always be there. I keep hoping Karma will catch up to him, and he'll get caught doing some of the dubious things he does in life...like driving 120mph down the highway drunk and posting it on FB. The problem is, I don't want him to get caught in a way that causes physical harm to someone else. DD is a ticking time bomb.

Sigh. Just too much going on in my head right now. Add to this I'm probably going to lose my job (justifiably) and I can't even go back to work for three more weeks, and I'm just feeling a bit like the Titanic.