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Breaking up with my therapist

andy71781andy71781 member
in Trying to Get Pregnant

I've been in therapy for 8 years long years. For the past 2 years I've been seeing a psychoanalyst who is a man.  Out of the three therapists I've had, he's my least favorite.

I found out last week that my new insurance doesn't cover him - at all.  I don't want to be 100% OOP, especially due to my fertility treatments.

I'm going to break up with him at our appointment tomorrow.  I'm so anxious and scared that he's going to try and talk me out of it or get mad at me.  I seriously feel like I need a therapist to help me break up with my therapist.

Have any of you had any experience with this? 

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Re: Breaking up with my therapist

  • JBM1204JBM1204 member

    Butting in here...

    As a therapist myself, I can assure you that what you are doing is completely normal and something he has probably dealt with multiple times. It would be unethical for him to try and convince you to stay if it's not in your best interest (in this case, financial) and if he feels you need to continue treatment, he should help provide resources for you to transition to a therapist in your network. Therapists refer clients to each other all the time. GL, he should understand! 

    Ugly charts can be BFPs someecards.com - I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make you funny. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • curlylocks3curlylocks3 member
    YGPM :)
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    The Science Babies debuted 5/6/14 @ 34 weeks
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  • andy71781andy71781 member
    imageJBM1204:

    Butting in here...

    As a therapist myself, I can assure you that what you are doing is completely normal and something he has probably dealt with multiple times. It would be unethical for him to try and convince you to stay if it's not in your best interest (in this case, financial) and if he feels you need to continue treatment, he should help provide resources for you to transition to a therapist in your network. Therapists refer clients to each other all the time. GL, he should understand! 

    Thank you!  I was hoping there would be someone out there like you!  So one of the things I was hoping is that he'd help me find someone in-network - like I'd email him a list of names and he could tell me what he knew.  I had asked him about this last week and he told me that all the people who were in network (in any insurance) were "inexperienced" or not as good.  I feel like that was unprofessional for him to say. 

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  • curlylocks3curlylocks3 member
    imageandy71781:
    imageJBM1204:

    Butting in here...

    As a therapist myself, I can assure you that what you are doing is completely normal and something he has probably dealt with multiple times. It would be unethical for him to try and convince you to stay if it's not in your best interest (in this case, financial) and if he feels you need to continue treatment, he should help provide resources for you to transition to a therapist in your network. Therapists refer clients to each other all the time. GL, he should understand! 

    Thank you!  I was hoping there would be someone out there like you!  So one of the things I was hoping is that he'd help me find someone in-network - like I'd email him a list of names and he could tell me what he knew.  I had asked him about this last week and he told me that all the people who were in network (in any insurance) were "inexperienced" or not as good.  I feel like that was unprofessional for him to say. 


    That is unprofessional in my opinion as well. I'm guessing the other therapists you've seen are not in-network either but do you feel like you could ask for their professional opinion on some that are?
    image  image
    О Привязать! Z!
    The Science Babies debuted 5/6/14 @ 34 weeks
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  • andy71781andy71781 member

    imagecurlylocks3:
    YGPM :)

    Backatcha. 

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  • andy71781andy71781 member
    imagecurlylocks3:
    imageandy71781:
    imageJBM1204:

    Butting in here...

    As a therapist myself, I can assure you that what you are doing is completely normal and something he has probably dealt with multiple times. It would be unethical for him to try and convince you to stay if it's not in your best interest (in this case, financial) and if he feels you need to continue treatment, he should help provide resources for you to transition to a therapist in your network. Therapists refer clients to each other all the time. GL, he should understand! 

    Thank you!  I was hoping there would be someone out there like you!  So one of the things I was hoping is that he'd help me find someone in-network - like I'd email him a list of names and he could tell me what he knew.  I had asked him about this last week and he told me that all the people who were in network (in any insurance) were "inexperienced" or not as good.  I feel like that was unprofessional for him to say. 


    That is unprofessional in my opinion as well. I'm guessing the other therapists you've seen are not in-network either but do you feel like you could ask for their professional opinion on some that are?

    So the problem is that they are all in different cities.  Each time I moved I got a new therapist who was vetted and selected by the previous one.  I'm hoping that he'll give me some advice/insight on the potential replacements but I'm unsure.  It's going to come totally out of left field for him and I'm scared.  

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  • CutieBean79CutieBean79 member
    Just think it may be an uncomfortable situation but it will be quickly over & hopefully you won't have to see him again.  GL!
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  • JBM1204JBM1204 member
    imageandy71781:

    Thank you!  I was hoping there would be someone out there like you!  So one of the things I was hoping is that he'd help me find someone in-network - like I'd email him a list of names and he could tell me what he knew.  I had asked him about this last week and he told me that all the people who were in network (in any insurance) were "inexperienced" or not as good.  I feel like that was unprofessional for him to say. 

    I guess I kind of understand what he is trying to say, but agree its unprofessional. While he might be correct that more 'seasoned' therapists no longer accept insurance, there are still plenty of qualified therapists that do. Also, you can think of it this way...maybe you will find a 'newer' therapist w/ 10 yrs of experience (vs one with 20) who does take insurance. This therapist has probably more recently taken Continuing Ed classes and studied newer therapeutic approaches and may not be stuck in old-fashioned techniques. Sometimes newer can be better. 

    Also, I'm not sure if this is a regional resource or national but I advise people to call 1-800-lifenet. If you give them your insurance and zip code they provide therapists. 

    Ugly charts can be BFPs someecards.com - I plan to give you love, nurturing, and just enough dysfunction to make you funny. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • andy71781andy71781 member

    Thanks ladies for your advice.  It went well and was not painful at all.  He was very professional and is going to help me find a new therapist.

    Thanks again! 

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