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Natural Birth
nurrieum
member
But I think it's gross
nurrieum
member
Okay- I lived with a midwife growing up, I made my DH watch "the Business of Being Born" (with me) and I lived on a farm (lots of goat babies). I want to have a natural birth, I unfortunately can't have a home birth this time around but we are still doing a natural birth at a hospital with a doula (who just so happens to be the mid-wife I grew up with). I am completely adamant then unless it's a dire emergency no interventions take place and I want every option tried before a c-section. I have a feeling that if a nurse gets pushy about pit- i will go psycho (I'm a bit hormonal).
I'm due Saturday and I can feel things starting to change and get ready. I can't get past it- it's gross. Thinking about it makes me kind of uncomfortable. It's not so much the blood (although that's part of it) it's that my vagina has to get huge and I have to push a kid out a place that has previously just been used for fun. The whole natural process of it- totally makes me uncomfortable and kind of grosses me out. I'm doing this because this is what I believe is best for my child- if there's an emergency and intervention is needed I'll have to deal with that but everything is looking fine for a normal vaginal delivery and my OB approved my birth plan.
For those mamma's who've done a natural birth- were any of you still a bit grossed out by the process? How did you feel after you completed it? Maybe I'm just odd but I've never felt "oh this is just so beautiful". (It's different once mommy and baby get to bond- that's special- I'm talking about the bloody gory uglier side of labor). This is my first pregnancy- I have no idea what to expect from labor- but I'm very committed to doing this naturally. That said- I'm trying to just get past the gross part. (Which again- has less to do with the blood and afterbirth and more to do with the fact that this is going to happen from my vagina).
My doula (who is like a second mother to me) and I have talked about it. She's very supportive and amused that I find it gross. (Which I don't mind, I think it's a bit funny myself).
I'm just wondering if I'm bizarre for feeling like this and to anyone who has- how did you feel about it once you'd been through it?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: But I think it's gross
lol...well, yeah it is gross. We didn't go out of our way to see what was happening down there. No mirrors for me! And seeing the pads afterwards was plenty...didn't want to peak at my placenta or the afterbirth soaking pad. In general, the nurses made it easy for us not to
Prepare yourself a little though. My first birth was fairly "clean"...my second I'm pretty sure I was peeing and pooing all over the place, but I like to ignore those details when I think back to the warm, little pink bundles I got to hold minutes later. That was the beautiful part, after all that hard work.
lol yeah l will definitely decline the hand-mirror!!!! I also feel no need whatsoever to see the placenta- tree of life though it may be- it's also bloody and icky. I know my baby will be worth it- however not having actually had that moment yet- I'm still a bit like. . .ewwwwwwww.
I felt that way about it when I was pregnant the first time around. When my colostrum first came in I was absolutely appalled that my boobs were leaking "yellowish stuff." I've been breastfeeding for almost 4 years total now and think nothing of it.
I was adamant before my first labor that nobody was to look down at my parts. When I was actually in labor though, while pushing, a nurse said she could see the baby's head and asked if I wanted a mirror and I was so excited! Looking back and picturing my births I think "oh what a gross image" but in the moment all I've thought both times is "oh look, that's his little face" or "goodness she has hair!"
Both times I was really excited about the placenta...but in general I find things like that to be exciting, and getting to dissect someones gallbladder to look for stones immediately post op was the highlight of my nursing training...so I'm a little weird.
Home Birthing-Breastfeeding-Cloth Diapering-Baby Wearing-CoSleeping-Delayed/Selective Vaccination Mama to Charlie (5yrs) and Madeline (21mos)
A woman's body is designed so that the person giving birth cannot see the process. I had no desire to reach down and touch the head much less pull the child from me when I had my kids. And for God's sake, don't bring a mirror anywhere near me while I'm pushing. No thank you.
Your vagina will go back to the way it was, more or less. You'll be swollen and sore for a while afterwards but, like my GP said, no matter how things go, almost every woman is completely back to normal after 6 weeks.
I'm in the wrong business if I were to be grossed out by it
But, your feelings are totally normal. Keep talking to your midwife/doula about it and let the staff know you don't want to see or touch anything going on, so they can be respectful of your wishes. Maybe try to find a "happy place" in you can go to in your mind to be away from it while it's happening. Bring scents or pictures that make you think of somewhere else that makes you more comfortable. A lot of women I've worked with have had success with that.
Good luck to you!
NorCalMOMS bio* NorCalBOTB* babywearingBIO
Harmony Doula
GL with your labor and delivery!
Pas for the gross aspect, I had a home birth and my DH was really concerned with the gross factor. It wasn't as gross or messy as he thought and honestly, once I was in full blown labor, I couldn't have cared less what was leaking out of my body, I just wanted that baby out. I think you go to "labor land" in your head.
It sounds like you probably have a new baby by now, (yay!) but I just wanted to say that I felt the same way with my first!
I actually made a point while in labor (early stages) to say "bye-bye" to my vagina, because I was convinced it would just never be the same. I felt totally different while actually in active labor, and when the nurse said "he has lots of hair!" my excitement totally outweighted my fear of what was happening "down there". You get so caught up in the moment that you won't care, and even after and throughout recovery, your new little one will be such an adrenaline rush and joy that you won't even think about down there!
Just don't get curious and take a mirror to it a few days after, you will instantly regret it (trust me).
I felt some of these things before I had my first...no desire to look or feel down there during delivery, didnt want video or pics. After giving birth, though, my mindset changed a lot and I was much more used to the idea and willing to see and feel and document pushing a baby out. So for #2 I hired a birth photographer and told her to get the "money shot" if she could, set up the video camera, and reached down to feel the baby head. I guess it just became more normal after doing it once. Also, sex was more comfortable for me after having had 1 baby, which was a nice bonus.
Good luck!!
NorCalMOMS bio* NorCalBOTB* babywearingBIO
Harmony Doula
I was really worried going into it about the whole grossness issue as well as the modesty issue.
In reality? Those concerns went RIGHT OUT THE DOOR as soon as I went into labor. I ceased to care about anything along those lines. Having my husband help me on and off the toilet? Sure! Complete strangers helping me get out of the tub and drying me off? Go right ahead! Vomitting copiously into a plastic bag in front of two nurses and my husband? Yeahp, not gonna care.
Part of my birth plan was that I did NOT want my baby placed on my chest until she'd been wiped down a little, but when the time came I was all GIVE ME MY BABY I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S ALL GROSS WANT BABY NOW. My husband actually cracked up at how insistent I was (they still wiped her down a little bit, which in retrospect I am thankful for).
I'll tell you this, I still wasn't willing to even look at my placenta though. Some things should not be viewed if one wishes to keep ones sanity.
Gross isn't the word that I would have used, I would have called it astonishing. Birth is like a vagina doing a magic trick with a baby and that is down right shocking.
Now it's in you, now it's out!!!
NO WAY!!!!
I've given birth naturally and I still feel like I need a magician to come and explain how the trick works.
I think the grossness/ick factor of labor actually is perfect training for motherhood. Your baby will spit up in your face, pee & poop on you, in your bed, in the bathtub with you in it, etc. Your baby will pull at your shirt in public if you're nursing, fart so loud people on the other side of the restuarant can hear it, and throw up all over your dress the one time you decide to go out somewhere nice.
But none of that will phase you once you've seen your water break (with meconium in it for me, so yes, baby pooped inside me), your privates have been on display in front of a room full of people (even with a home birth), and you've had no control over liters of fluids gushing out of you with the birth of your child (which happens even with a c-section, so it's gross either way).
The only thing to really gross me out since labor was 1) when my daughter really did spit up right on my face and 2) when my daughter licked my mouth - ewwwww.
The rest is all hilarious. Enjoy!
If you really really think about it, everything is gross. Kissing is disgusting, sex is even more disgusting. Pooping is gross. Sneezing is gross. And if you live in or near a major city, even breathing the air is gross.
You still have to sneeze, poop, and breathe.