Someone other than DH in delivery room?

happy_un-bride · July 2012

If your DH wasn't able to be in the delivery room with you - who would you want with you? Do you need to have someone with you?

My DH will not be in the delivery room with me; I'm ok with this and was prepared for this. I'm just curious who I should have with me or if I even need someone. I have an older sister, but we don't get along the greatest, a SIL but not sure we know each other well enough, mom, DHs step mom... My best girlfriend isn't an option since she lives in Australia.

magel050485 · July 2012

DH won't be in the room this time. He almost passed out when I was laboring with DS so he had to leave. I labored alone (well, with my amazing nurses) for 6 hours before I had to have a c section. My mom came for the c section.

For this one some of the girls from my November mom group are going to set up an "on call" schedule and whoever is on call will be with me.

If family or your BF aren't available or the people you want I would consider getting a doula.

goldengirl2 · July 2012

I have a good friend whose husband was in Afghanistan when she delivered. She knew he would be there so she decided to have a midwife. Apparently they are with you through the whole pregnancy and delivery. I am not sure if that was just her midwife, or if that is standard. When she was pushing she did facetime with her H.

GL

careyalis · July 2012

With my first, I had kind of a different situation because I knew that my daughter would only live a short while. I invited my mom and mil to stay-one videotaped (got her cry on film!!) and the other took as many pictures as possible as soon as she was out. In planning the delivery, that scenario might have sounded too up close and personal for me, but I couldve cared less who saw my goods at that point. I would ask your mom to at least be there for moral support.

feytalaria · July 2012

If my husband wasn't able to be in the delivery room, the only other person I would want with me is my mom. I don't want a lot of people in the room with me, just essential staff and my husband.

My friend had both her mom and her dad in there with her. I don't think I'd want my dad anywhere near the room, just a little TMI for me.

lovekatespade · July 2012

feytalaria:

My friend had both her mom and her dad in there with her. I don't think I'd want my dad anywhere near the room, just a little TMI for me.

Um, yeah. Love my dad, but that is not the place for him.

I want my mom and sister with me. Even if DH is there. They live in CA (I'm in MA), so that might not be possible, but we're going to try!

I do not want my ILs or anyone else. Luckily, they don't think they need to be there. Phew.

MonsterBean3815 · July 2012

I plan to have my DH and mom in the room. I think my mom will be a good support for both me and my husband!

erpetdoc · July 2012

For DD, it was the nurses and my DH. He did all right, but it was a very long labor, and despite birthing classes, I didn't feel like he was as effective of a coach as I would have liked. This time around, he'll still be there, but I'm adding a doula. She has been with me since before the birth of my daughter as a friend and massage therapist. I am totally comfortable with her being there in the room.

LiteraryFoodie · July 2012

magel050485:
DH won't be in the room this time. He almost passed out when I was laboring with DS so he had to leave. I labored alone (well, with my amazing nurses) for 6 hours before I had to have a c section. My mom came for the c section.

For this one some of the girls from my November mom group are going to set up an "on call" schedule and whoever is on call will be with me.

If family or your BF aren't available or the people you want I would consider getting a doula.

This is what I would do. We don't have a network of close friends or family where we live now. Depending on when you hire a doula they'll work with you during your pregnancy to develop a birth plan and so you can get comfortable with each other. Also, postpartum doulas will do home visits after the birth to help with breastfeeding, answering any questions, and help with light housework.

kimberlykh · July 2012

If my DH couldn't be in the room, I'd probably have my sister or just the nurses. If I didn't invite my mom, she'd probably be hurt, but I'm 100% sure that she'd drive me mad, and I wouldn't risk it.

I like the Doula idea too.

LiteraryFoodie · July 2012

kimberlykh:
If my DH couldn't be in the room, I'd probably have my sister or just the nurses. If I didn't invite my mom, she'd probably be hurt, but I'm 100% sure that she'd drive me mad, and I wouldn't risk it.

I like the Doula idea too.

Hahah! This is so me too. I love my mom, but she is not exactly a calming influence and we have different approaches to pregnancy, birth and parenting. She's totally stress me out at the birth.

ally1218 · July 2012

My husband already has two children and has told me that he can't be in the delivery room, unless someone wants to clean the floor. lol. So I think I'm going to just have my mom with me. She'll be awesome. I think it would be awkward having anyone else.

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