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Frustrated, tired, emotional....vent

vlcoleyvlcoley member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

I am just having one of those days.  My daughter is almost 3 months old and I feel like by now I should be able to "read" her cues and understand her routine a little better than I did in month 1 and 2.  Well the last two days have proved to me that right when I think I should have this whole mommy thing down, my daughter throws me a curve ball and I feel like I don't understand her at all. 

She usually eats every 2-3 hours.  Well recently right when I think she is getting hungry (starts to fuss, licks her lips, etc) and it is reaching that 2-3 hour mark, I go to breastfeed her and she starts SCREAMING!  Like not just fussing but screaming.  It takes me 5-15 minutes to calm her down and once I do, I try feeding her again and the same thing - bring her to the breast and she starts screaming then needs 5-15 minutes to calm down.  Ususally after about 2 or 3 attempts, she just screams until she eventually falls asleep.  At this point, I feel like a complete failure as a mom and have no idea what she needs from me. 

She is also not napping that well.  Ususally she will start falling asleep in my arms and when I go to lay her in her PnP or crib or swing she again starts screaming:(.  Its like she refuses to sleep anywhere but in my arms.  I feel like my whole days is spent holding her, fighting with her at the breast and crying myself out of pure exhaustion and frustration:(. 

Luckily she still sleeps really well at night - goes to bed at 8 pm, wakes up at about 4am to feed and then is back to bed until 6-7 am. 

Not every day is like this and I keep reminding myself of that.  I guess I just put a lot of pressure on both of us to have a better routine down and a better understanding of each other by this point:(.

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Re: Frustrated, tired, emotional....vent

  • planeNsimpleplaneNsimple member
    I have gone through this EXACT same thing.  For my daughter it was that she was just tired.  If I put her to my breast and she SCREAMED I figured out that she was tired and to try putting her to sleep.  She doesn't go down easily though if she is overtired.  She does the same thing where it takes her forever to fall asleep in my arms and then when I lay her down she wakes up.  I woudl try putting her to sleep a lot earlier and if she screams at the breast just try a nap.  I really hope this helps you!
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  • KiedisKiedis member

    I feel like this many days, too. What works for DS one day, won't work the next. I see many friends with such easy going babies, and I'm very jealous. My son is very high needs.

    His hunger cues aren't as easy to read as they once were, and as the PP mentioned, I sometimes confuse them with tired.

    One thing that is consistent about DS is that if I wait for tired cues, it's often too late. I try to slow things down and switch from playtime to cuddle time after about an hour or so of awake time. It often takes at least a half an hour or so to get him down, and I aim to have him up no longer than two hours max - with an hour and a half being ideal for him. It still doesnt always result in a nap, but it's way better than it once was. 

    One thing that works great for naps - swaddled and in the swing on the highest speed. 

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  • JWhite1517JWhite1517 member

    This is exactly me. Some days my lo is an angel, takes naps, eats, plays, all is good. Then once in a while she will have a day or two where from 2pm on she fights sleep, only takes 10-15 min cat naps, only sleeps if I hold her, etc.(she is almost 2months old). On these days she is overly tired so she is super fussy.

     I also experienced the screaming when trying to feed her and I also found that when that happens she is just overly tired. She still loves to be swaddled so when that happens I swaddle her and walk around/ rock her and she is usually out within 10 minutes. 

    I have been trying harder to get her to go down for a nap with the swaddle and rocking before she gets to that exhausted point and that has been helping. I just pay attention to how long she has been awake and if she starts yawning, even if she otherwise is happy and doesn't look tired yet. Don't beat yourself up over it though, they are bound to have off days once in a while just like we adults do. Just remember they will grow out of it and it will get easier :).

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