Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
kimmyt09
member
Re: visitors after surgery
It's absolutely a personal preference. If you'd prefer to have some alone time with your DH and both kids, do it. Do the skin-to-skin for a while before people come in.
We did have family almost immediately both times, but it's what we wanted. If we didn't want them in there, we would have asked them to wait. I got time to breastfeed and have our other kids meet the baby and then we had our parents and siblings.
Other family and friends came to visit either later that night or in the next two days while we were still in the hospital.
People visited us at home after a day or two and we had time to settle in.
Our families were not nearby at all (not even in the same country..) but, had they been, I would have wanted at least a couple of hours before having any visitors, no matter how my baby was born.
I would want lots of skin to skin and nursing, and time as a family before including anyone else.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
Everyone was waiting when I got to my room from recovery after my c/s (which was unplanned). They brought in my son (he had to spend 2 hours in NICU since he was early & a GD baby, all was well).
And my husband made it VERY clear, no one was to touch him until I spent as much time with him as I wanted.
Set rules. You are the mommy, no one else. And I know my nurses are awesome & If I would have said, "I don't want anyone in the room when I get there." they would have forced everyone to the waiting room.
I felt comfortable with immediate family there right away but my family knew that if at anytime I felt uncomfortable with them there or was in a lot of pain and not up for visitors that I would ask them to leave and come back at a better time. They were prefectly fine with that.
I got a lot of skin to skin and nursing time in the recovery room so I was ok with family holding him once I got to my room. My parents brought in my daughter to the recovery room so she could see her brother right away.
Again, this was all fine with me because I felt really good. If I had felt crappy and out of it, I may have changed my mind. I would say see how you feel and let family know you may or may not need a lot of time to yourselves once you get to your room.
I had family visiting when I was in the recovery room, but that is also what I wanted. In addition, it was just my family since DH's lives halfway across the country, so I wasn't bombarded with a lot of people.
However, later on in the day, I did get overwhelmed with visitors. My mom decided to invite all of these people she knew and I was just exhausted and wanted to sleep. Looking back, I wish I would have just said the only visitors would be family. Everyone else will just have to wait. Next time, if there is one, we will limit the number of guests, but mostly I think my husband and I will have a code word for when I am done with visitors. He will know that means he needs to get everyone out so that I could rest.