It's only a year right? — The Bump
Military Families

It's only a year right?

DH is leaving in 3 weeks for CGSC at Ft. Leavenworth for a year and we just found out last Thursday. I've done deployments before so theoretically this should be a cake walk but I'm kinda freaking out now that we have a kid. My son is 14 months and I'm feeling super overwhelmed at the idea of being a single parent for a year with a very, very demanding job. We're military wives, it's what we do right!?!? Anyway, if you feel like it, blow some sunshine up my ass so I can stop flipping out. Thanks!
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Re: It's only a year right?

  • Why can't you go? It's not a remote assignment!
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  • I can but what would I do there? My job won't let me go remote and we would have to rent our house out and move our crap and then in a year, we would be right back in the same area.
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  • Just think that atleast you can go and visit often.  And Leavenworth isn't too bad.  It's close to KC and there is lots of shopping and places to eat close by.  Good luck and be happy that this year apart is in country atleast! Big Smile
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  • If it were me I'd go. I wouldn't want my husband to miss anything with the kids or have them go through that especially when I had the CHOICE to go. My husband is TDY and deployed so much I would never let the opportunity pass. In fact, he is TDY for 2 months right now and I had to option to go so I packed it up for 2 MONTHS! Crazy I know. That's just me though.

    You said "what would I do there?" Explore, find things to do ect.

    If you don't go with him you can visit often.

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  • id go too. i left my beloved job to follow my husband to a duty station he was only going to be at less than a year. granted we werent going back to where we came from but a year is a long time to spend apart if you dont have to and it isnt a close easy drive to see him every weekend

    Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
    Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
    4 uterus surgeries to correct my complete septum and to remove polyps and 2 years of seeing the RE, medicated cycles and IUIs
    Baby 1 and 2: BFP 3/3/11 with 2 babies EDD 11/1/11, M/C 4/6/11
    Baby #3: 8/11 pregnant EDD 4/27/11 and m/c:(
    Baby #4: 10/12/11 BFP! EDD 6/16/12m/c 10/26/11
    Baby #5: 3/13/12 BFP! EDD 11/25/12 ANOTHER m/c :(

    Baby #6: 2/14/13- BFP! EDD 10/24/13, CP 2/19/13
    Baby #7: 3/15/13- BFP! EDD 11/27/13, another CP
    Baby #8.  BFP 5/19/13 EDD 1/22/14. 8 was not our lucky number

    4th septum resection on 5/31/13.
    Baby #9: 6/29/13 BFP. C section scheduled for March 5th!

    My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!

    image"">

  • imagecyprissa:
    I can but what would I do there? My job won't let me go remote and we would have to rent our house out and move our crap and then in a year, we would be right back in the same area.

    I totally get this, my H was gone for 9 months and I had a career I loved.  We did not have any kids yet, but I get where you are coming from, it sucked being apart but I was able to visit fairly often which made it so much easier.  If it was just a job I would say go, but if it is a career that you love I would probably stay and just visit often. FWIW, the time flew by.

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  • on the other hand i lived in a different city than my husband for 2 years and did a commuter marriage because I loved my career (same job) and it wasnt that bad at all but we were only 4 hours away from each other. I actually really enjoyed it but we dont have kids

    Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
    Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
    4 uterus surgeries to correct my complete septum and to remove polyps and 2 years of seeing the RE, medicated cycles and IUIs
    Baby 1 and 2: BFP 3/3/11 with 2 babies EDD 11/1/11, M/C 4/6/11
    Baby #3: 8/11 pregnant EDD 4/27/11 and m/c:(
    Baby #4: 10/12/11 BFP! EDD 6/16/12m/c 10/26/11
    Baby #5: 3/13/12 BFP! EDD 11/25/12 ANOTHER m/c :(

    Baby #6: 2/14/13- BFP! EDD 10/24/13, CP 2/19/13
    Baby #7: 3/15/13- BFP! EDD 11/27/13, another CP
    Baby #8.  BFP 5/19/13 EDD 1/22/14. 8 was not our lucky number

    4th septum resection on 5/31/13.
    Baby #9: 6/29/13 BFP. C section scheduled for March 5th!

    My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!

    image"">

  • NSLNSL member
    imageF15Wife:

    If it were me I'd go. I wouldn't want my husband to miss anything with the kids or have them go through that especially when I had the CHOICE to go. My husband is TDY and deployed so much I would never let the opportunity pass. In fact, he is TDY for 2 months right now and I had to option to go so I packed it up for 2 MONTHS! Crazy I know. That's just me though.

    You said "what would I do there?" Explore, find things to do ect.

    If you don't go with him you can visit often.

     Doing this is one thing when you don't work outside the home and something else entirely when you do and intend to continue working. My career is very important to me, and there is no way I'd pack up my family to relocate temporarily when it meant quitting my job. To the OP, this is do-able, but I would recommend looking into a nanny or similar if your job will conflict with regular child care hours.  We shared one with our neighbors for years. Good luck! 

  • That is very true! I have also been in that situation and my job allowed me to take an extended leave of absence.

    It's all about your personal priorities.

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  • Wow! So, you think that I am prioritizing my job over my family? Judgmental much? You know it's not that simple when you make a full 50% of your families income to just pick up and leave your career with less than a months notice. 

    imageF15Wife:

    That is very true! I have also been in that situation and my job allowed me to take an extended leave of absence.

    It's all about your personal priorities.

    image

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  • I'm sorry you took that wrong. I didn't mean it that way.

    I wrote that with my situation in mind of being able to stay at home. Sorry it did look wrong!

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  • Thanks for the reply back! I appreciate it because I do care about my family and clearly hate that DH will miss any more time with our son than is absolutely necessary.
    imageF15Wife:

    I'm sorry you took that wrong. I didn't mean it that way.

    I wrote that with my situation in mind of being able to stay at home. Sorry it did look wrong!

    image

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  • when i stayed back because i wanted to stay at my career i go so much negative feedback from other military women. You know what. I worked hard for my masters degree, i make as much as my husband and I am great at my job. just because your husband moves places doesn't mean you have to. Especially if it is only a year and he is coming back. With all of my health issues I would now chose to go but giving up my career is the one thing i regret the most. I can't wait to get back into it when I am not going to the doctor all the time

    Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
    Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
    4 uterus surgeries to correct my complete septum and to remove polyps and 2 years of seeing the RE, medicated cycles and IUIs
    Baby 1 and 2: BFP 3/3/11 with 2 babies EDD 11/1/11, M/C 4/6/11
    Baby #3: 8/11 pregnant EDD 4/27/11 and m/c:(
    Baby #4: 10/12/11 BFP! EDD 6/16/12m/c 10/26/11
    Baby #5: 3/13/12 BFP! EDD 11/25/12 ANOTHER m/c :(

    Baby #6: 2/14/13- BFP! EDD 10/24/13, CP 2/19/13
    Baby #7: 3/15/13- BFP! EDD 11/27/13, another CP
    Baby #8.  BFP 5/19/13 EDD 1/22/14. 8 was not our lucky number

    4th septum resection on 5/31/13.
    Baby #9: 6/29/13 BFP. C section scheduled for March 5th!

    My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!

    image"">

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