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March 2013 Moms
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Any other interfaith families?

CityGirl07CityGirl07
in March 2013 Moms

I am Jewish and DH is catholic. I'm wondering what others are doing in terms of kids religion?

Before we got married we agreed we would teach both. We had a decent plan for this. Recently DH has felt that we should raise kids Jewish, for many reasons. He doesn't want to convert but he feels that I'm very connected to my religion and he is not religious at all. He has a lot of issues with the catholic church. And he sees how much it means to me and my family when Evie participates.

We would still celebrate Christmas and Easter with his family. They don't go to church but have family get togethers. DH is really worried about talking to his mom about this though. Any experiences or suggestions? 

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Re: Any other interfaith families?

  • LiteraryFoodieLiteraryFoodie

    MH and I are both Catholic, but honestly, if your husband and your husband's family don't go to church (regularly or at all) then I would advocate for raising them in the Jewish faith and practicing that regularly.

    In my experience working with kids in CCD and confirmation prep, kids whose parents "force" them to go through the sacraments, even though the family doesn't practice or discuss their faith at home, are very confused and resentful. They have a hard time "applying" what they learn in CCD or confirmation prep to their lives and struggle finding their own true sense of spirituality or faith.

    If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't force, essentially meaningless, Catholic sacraments on them, especially when their have such a vibrant faith tradition in your practice of Judaism. If they do decide that they want to be Catholic later in their lives, RCIA is always open to them.

    If this isn't clear, don't hesitate to ask me to clarify. Good luck with your decisions. I can only imagine it is tough!

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  • Licia&WayneLicia&Wayne member
    imageLiteraryFoodie:

    In my experience working with kids in CCD and confirmation prep, kids whose parents "force" them to go through the sacraments, even though the family doesn't practice or discuss their faith at home, are very confused and resentful. They have a hard time "applying" what they learn in CCD or confirmation prep to their lives and struggle finding their own true sense of spirituality or faith.

    If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't force, essentially meaningless, Catholic sacraments on them, especially when their have such a vibrant faith tradition in your practice of Judaism. If they do decide that they want to be Catholic later in their lives, RCIA is always open to them.

    Ditto, especially the bolded. Hubstache and I are Catholic, both catechists, and for families who don't actively practice that faith (or at least go to Mass once in a while), it's just not a good situation for the kids.

    I think if you are practicing your faith and you and your husband want that faith for your family, more power to you for giving them that foundation. Religions are open membership. If your children decide they want to be a part of a different faith when they're older, they can, and go through whatever steps they need to to become a part of that religion.

    And as far as telling his mom, well, it's not her decision to make what religion you teach your children. You aren't cutting them off from your husband's family/religion/culture, so she'll have to come to terms with that on her own. 

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  • CityGirl07CityGirl07

    Thanks for your thoughts. I would be more than thrilled if we raise the kids Jewish. Our plan did not include any formal religious education and I think we are both realizing that we would like something a little more organized. I don't care at all what his parents think but I know it worries him even though he was the one who brought up raising them Jewish. I get why it is hard for him to explain this to his mom. They think I am responsible for some of the ways he has changed over the time we have been together so I know they will "blame" me for this too. 

    Again, appreciate your thoughts! 

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