How do you ladies deal with the suckiness? — The Bump
Military Families

How do you ladies deal with the suckiness?

DH and I have been married for over 3 years, but we're on our second deployment and in between them he was still gone a lot. During deployments we don't really get to talk, and when he's home he's always busy working due to his demanding job. He's missed over half of DS's life, and after this deployment is over, will have missed a lot of LO#2's as well. Bottom line, we're in that "suck" phase of military life. There's no easy way around it, it's just hard, lonely and exhausting. I know I'm not the only one out there who's been/going through this.

How do you guys deal with it?

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Re: How do you ladies deal with the suckiness?

  • Everyone has different ways of dealing with deployment.  Personally, I was so busy with taking care of a newborn LO, taking care of everything here at the house myself, and finishing my masters degree that I really didn't have time to mope.  Being a military spouse, particularly during deployment, is a hard life, but just remember - YH won't be gone forever and deployment is a temporary state, no matter how sucky it is.

     So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"

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    Voted "Mom of the Year" 2012 Sweetpea Mom Awards

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  • It is miserable! DH will be leaving for 8 months in Jan and it stresses me out to think about it.

    I really try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Once he gets back from his deployment, he will be out in 6 months. 

    I also try to remember, he is doing this to support out family too. We have the comfortable life we have because of this. Though, sometimes, I think I'd rather have him home than be comfortable. ;)

    If you need a friendly ear during these hard times, feel free to PM me. :)

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  • This life is honestly what you make it.  You can choose to focus on the suck, or you can focus on the good stuff.  This is my husband's 7th deployment since we've been together.  Between deployments and training, he's home between 18 and 25 weeks a year, non-consecutively.  We have two children together and 2 kids from my first marriage.  He misses a lot of stuff.  

    The suck can overwhelm me here or there, but I try not to let it.  I record every thing I can for him to see. I take a crap ton of pictures.  The kids have the Daddy Wall in our dining room.  They tape everything from pictures, drawings, report cards and more on the wall and then spend one on one time with him telling him all about the things that are important to them.  

    Like my grandma always says, happy mommies make happy babies.   

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  • imageiluvmytxrgr:

    This life is honestly what you make it.  You can choose to focus on the suck, or you can focus on the good stuff.  This is my husband's 7th deployment since we've been together.  Between deployments and training, he's home between 18 and 25 weeks a year, non-consecutively.  We have two children together and 2 kids from my first marriage.  He misses a lot of stuff.  

    The suck can overwhelm me here or there, but I try not to let it.  I record every thing I can for him to see. I take a crap ton of pictures.  The kids have the Daddy Wall in our dining room.  They tape everything from pictures, drawings, report cards and more on the wall and then spend one on one time with him telling him all about the things that are important to them.  

    Like my grandma always says, happy mommies make happy babies.   

     

    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

    This life is what you make it. If you are miserable about it then you'll feel miserable. In my personal opinion we are very sercure in the military with the lovely economy out there. My husband has 14 years in and two masters degrees, so yes, he could find a job outside the military if he wanted BUT we love this life. It comes with it's ups and downs for sure.

    Try to stay busy as much as you can and keep a positive attitude. Of course there will be days where you are a grouch about it and that's totally ok. Try to make littel milestones. At month 2 you will treat yourself to a spa day (get a babysitter) and look forward to just that. At month 4 you have a girls night, ect.....look forward to those milestones and it'll be over before ya know it.  

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  • Just have to take it one day at a time, and know that eventually your hubby will be home for more of your kids? lives than he was gone.

    This is our second ship in a row. We have been married for 6 years, and have yet to have a shore duty together... I did not even realize how much I was wanting/needing the break until it became a possibility. Hubby got offered order so sweet they are like candy! But if he should make rank coming up here we were told he would go to another ship. So now I have to put me BGP back on and try to just understand that this is best for his career, and I married him knowing I would do my best to support him in any way I can.

    He is actually leaving again right around the time this LO is due. We have been trying for 5 years, and had so many struggles to get to this point, and now he could miss it all together! That?s so very hard for me to take in, but we always knew it was a possibility. It goes with the territory.

    Maybe just try taking it one day at a time and don?t worry about the long term for now. Just do what you can, and know that will be enough. I am sorry it?s so sucky for you right now, but it will get better...

    We are at 12 years in, 8 together, and 6 married. I know we have anywhere from 8-12 more to go... We just keep plugging along and doing our thing. :o)

    It will get better?. Good Luck!

     


    Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
    All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!

    Baby Dust To All!!!

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