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Toddler acting out and mommy withdrawls

ashf4iashf4i
in Two Under 2

HELP PLEASE!

DS 1 is 21 mos old and DS 2 is 2 weeks.  DS 1 has been acting out terribly for the past week - outright defiance, screaming and pulling on me and crying whenever I am holding/feeding/changing Baby.  I don't know what to do - I spend time playing and cuddling DS 1 when DS 2 is napping or otherwise content.  Even if DS 1 is playing on his own, as soon as Baby cries he heads me off and starts pulling on me and throwing a fit.  Any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

TIA! 

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Re: Toddler acting out and mommy withdrawls

  • Bride2b2004Bride2b2004 member
    The age difference between my last two is 19 months, so close to yours.  So maybe I can think of a few suggestions to try.  One thing I do is try to enlist my toddler's help to care for baby.  "Oh no, [baby] is crying, what should we do?  Should we go help him?  Go tell [baby] its okay, we are here..."  and have my toddler go to baby first.  He can hand me diapers and help with diaper changes.  We practice "nice" and "gentle" touches all of the time.  There is a tendency to drop everything and respond to baby right away when he cries, but try to be a little gentle in your transition, especially if you were previously doing something with DS1.  And there is just a lot of time I have to hold both little ones at the same time.  It isn't easy, but it is actually very cute and I think it helps with their sibling bonding.  When the baby becomes less needy, starts smiling and showing DS1 the adoration younger siblings seem to naturally have for older ones, you might find this aspect of 2u2 get a little easier.  
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  • silkyhorsesilkyhorse
    I have no advice, except to wait it out.  My son was TERRIBLE for the first two weeks, and that was with both my husband and me around.  He gradually got better.  He still wants Daddy to pick him up the minute that Daddy picks up the baby.  He also still does naughty things (like touching the buttons on the tv electronics) that he knows he's not supposed to do when he knows that I'm preoccupied with the baby.  It's getting better!!!
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  • kge9602kge9602 member
    Mine are 15 months apart and I'm going through the same thing! DD1 was a fantastic child until about 2 weeks ago  It started with whining and wanting to be carried more, now it's outright screaming and tantrums, especially when I'm paying attention to DD2. I'm really trying not to lose my mind, especially when they both cry at the same time. It's better when DH is home since he can help me split up the work, but for the most part I'm home with them alone since I'm still on maternity leave. I never thought going back to work would be a more attractive option...please tell me this gets better!!! I have family take DD1 out entertain her whenever possible so it's not like she's being neglected, but I can only split my time between them so much :(
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