MIL Monday

Happily Overwhelmed · July 2012

...anyone got anything they need to vent about?

Happily Overwhelmed · July 2012

I don't really have much on MIL. Besides she continues to insist that we should do everything on her turf. MIL doesn't behave when things are in her comfort zone---which leads me to not want to even give that option the chance anymore. FIL called last nite and left a message on the machine that we're expected to come for the 4th of July. I'm praying that DH says we already have plans. We have so much to do that day and I HATE being TOLD to come to something. Would a simple invite be so hard? And why MIL can't do anything herself is beyond me...FIL is always in charge of the communicating between her and her son. So now my favorite holiday has turned into a day this week I'm dreading heavily.

My real vent this week lies with my own mother. She's forever preaching how she wishes that her children would get along and be close. However, whenever she finds out that my brother and I have spoken and not included her in the conversation she throws a tantrum about how we "talk behind her back" and then creates unnecessary drama and works really hard to find a reason to blame us for anything possible. I'm sorry dear mother but not everything is about YOU. Talking to my brother about when my niece is having her softball games is NOT "talking behind you're back". It's having a conversation with my sibling that clearly just doesn't involve you. If you're giving me the silent treatment over it then you have your own issues...

LadybugTN83 · July 2012

I'm kind of peeved at how uninvolved my MIL's have been (I have 2, MIL and StepMIL). The SMIL talks about how long it's been since she's seen LO every time we see them, but they make no effort anymore to come to visit us. We always have to do the driving. I don't exactly think it's fair to assume we do all the driving considering we have to pack up the house every time we go somewhere. And then she wonders why LO doesn't want to be held by her...duh, she doesn't know you! My MIL has only been to our house twice since LO was born, we've had to go to her every other time. It's just annoying that we make the effort and drive the 30 minutes and they make it seem like an accomplishment to "come to town" to see us. My parents are the complete opposite and almost always come to us and ask when they can come next! Ugh. I can tell that it hurts my DH's feelings that his moms are like this. I'd like to say something, but I so don't want to get into that with them.

ladykatie81 · July 2012

My MIL is a very blunt woman who uses ick language; shitty diaper instead of poopy diaper, titty instead of boob, etc. I've told DH to talk to her about the "little ears" and he did. I hope it works.

But what really stuck in my mind was about 3 weeks ago when she announced to the room of family "look at her lazy eye" in reference to my LO. I had to calmly let her know that the doctor has examed her eyes and it is not a lazy eye. The bridge of her nose is off center making one eye appear smaller. How about some tact??

[Deleted User] · July 2012

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browneyedgoil · July 2012

i love my MIL and she is a very sweet woman but we go there every sunday & my daughter pretty much will never nap while she is there b/c they always want to play with her and "she can do whatever she wants" with them. I always try to get her to nap & she refuses a little bit b/c she is excited to be around everyone & wants to be part of the action. plus, they keep going in & talking to her & playing with her etc when we try to settle her down. both my husband & i repeatedly explain that she needs to nap or she is going to be extremely fussy & we will pay for it at night b/c she won't sleep.

So yesterday I spent about 1 hour trying to get her down for a nap & they kept saying "She doesn't want to sleep, she wants to be part of the party" or "She must be teething or have a stomach-ache. She doesn't want to sleep, just let her be with us". My daughter started turning delirious from being overtired & too much stimulation & when that happens she starts smiling & laughing one minute & Then crying hysterically the next so they took that to mean that she is "happy to be with them" when she started smiling.

She finally fell asleep at 5pm & woke up at 6:30pm so now her schedule is completely off & I'm just upset. They say "yea, she was tired she needed to sleep". I explain that she needs to sleep at 10am, 2pm, & 4pm. You can let her cry for 5 minutes & she will fall asleep. I said we need to set up the pack n play in a quiet room for her so she has a quiet place to fall asleep w/o someone going in every minute to "play" with her & then wonder why she is smiling and won't fall asleep.

She didn't end up falling asleep last night until 9:40pm- 2.5 hours after her regular bedtime b/c she took a 1.5 hr nap at 5pm.

My new strategy will be to have the pack n play set up in another room when we are there & simply insist that she go down for her nap rather than being played with, carried around & being told "she can do whatever she wants here" by my IL's. I said to my husband, why do they do that. She needs to sleep & he said well they only get to see her 2 days a week, they want to play with her.

They are going to be watching her in 2 weeks overnight & I nicely explained, this is what happens, if she doesn't get her naps or go to bed on time. So I hope they learned & will follow my instructions. I actually really love my IL's and I know they are excited to see her & it's natural for grandparents to want to spoil their grandchildren & not follow the "rules" but I just get very frustrated b/c I have to deal w/ the fussy child all night long who is overtired.

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