August 2011 Moms
amywalt1684
member
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How were night feedings handled?
amywalt1684
member
So the great BF/FF debates begin on my new BMB... A huge pro with BFing with me was that I could just whip out a boob in the middle of the night and not worry about getting a bottle and warming it. The con to this is that obviously DH did not do any night-time feedings.
That being said even if we were FFing I am honestly not sure that DH would have ever/rarely gotten up to feed DD. I always wake up when DD does and not sure I could sleep through it.
Anyhow - Did your DH ever get up for feedings? If so, was it equal? How did this work for you?
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Re: How were night feedings handled?
I did, and still do, 100% of the feedings day and night. I think there were two times when DH tried to give her a bottle in the night, and he couldn't take the screaming, so I ended up BFing anyway. Because I SAH, I felt obligated to handle the night feedings and let DH sleep - it was truly just easier on all of us.
BUT....when people ask me, "what will you do differently with baby #2" - - - this is the one area where I want a change. I didn't push for DH to participate in any feedings, and therefore DD never has taken a bottle. I was basically tethered to her for the first six months until she was fully eating a couple solid meals a day, and it was really hard. While I will still plan to handle the majority of day and night feedings with any future babies we may have, it would be a great relief to at least have the option that someone else is able to step in and handle a feeding so I can get some rest or be away for more than a couple hours.
I often would go to bed between 7-8, DH would do the last feeding before bed (around 10-11) and then I would get up in the middle of the night for the feedings when I was home. When I went back to work we often alternated
Dh has an anxiety disorder and it caused him to try and choke me in his sleep when dd was a few weeks old. Because of that, he has never done a night feeding. In fact, we usually still lock dd's door at night. I do a late night feeding every night and totally nbd. I'm half asleep when I do it. I cant imagine having to prepare a bottle.
Eta: dh just asked me if I got up last night. I don't think he'd ever wake up to feed dh.
I attempted BFing for a little while, gradually moved to EPing, then started FFing in late January.
Before DH deployed, he never helped with night feedings. I didn't ask him to because he did so much work during the day - actual job, then moving all of our stuff into storage. I had to pump in the middle of the night anyway, so it didn't make sense for both of us to be zombies. He left when DS was 1 month old and came back when he was about 8 months old and STTN. He missed the fun times...
Sometimes I got frustrated that I was the only one up, but DH was really good about letting me take a nap in the evening. As long as I had that nap, night feedings weren't so bad. He also handled the early morning feeding (6am ish) if DS woke up and DH didn't have to go to work early. That let me sleep in a little bit.
I am trying to get my husband to help out more (we both work FT) even though I am still BFing and it is easy to "whip out a boob".
I think for the next one I still will be the one to get up at night because I do want to EBF again. But I think DH will need to pick up the slack somewhere else.
It depended on the night of the week. I SAH so I took weeknights, and SO took the weekends and any other night that he didn't have to get up and go to work in the morning. I EP'd for 4 months so in that time I was still up anyways, but if SO fed DS then I could get to bed sooner. I would get up pump, take care of the milk and go back to sleep instantly (sometimes I would even fall asleep while pumping). SO would feed DS, burp him and put him back to sleep.
With this baby I'm hoping (and doing everything I can to prepare) to BF for a year. So all of the feedings will be on me. I know that SO will do everything he can to make it easier on me though.
Oh my goodness!! Was this partially caused when he was half woken up or did he do it in a deep sleep? Sounds just like an episode of Greys Anatomy!
In a not-so similar but kinda similar situation at our house.... I used to have DH get up and change DD's diaper before I would feed her. Then there was one night where he walked straight into a wall (hard) while holding her. Luckily he hit the side she wasn't on. On a different occasion I was holding DD and had to pee, I was trying to wake DH up to hold her while I went to the bathroom. I shook him and called his name several times before he woke up, gasped, and punched me in the stomach. He barely hit me and I actually laughed at him and said "Really? If I was an intruder that is how hard you would hit me? Glad you are protecting your family!" LOL. After these few instances I never woke him up again, it just wasn't worth it!
DD was exclusively FF after three weeks. Before that DH would occasionally wake up with me and keep me company while I fed her. Once we went to only formula, he would get the bottle ready while I changed her when she first woke up. Like others said, I did feel bad he was awake when he had work the next day, while I was home on maternity leave. Fortunately he falls asleep quickly and is a really heavy sleeper, so once he got the bottle for me he would be out within minutes.
For us, DD started STTN at 8 weeks, otherwise now that I'm back at work there would be some changes to the nighttime feeding routine.