Doubling down?

lady_chance_99 · June 2012

So, since I am the impatient worry wart that I am- I am always thinking ahead to the next step, and normally like to have at least two avenues moving towards whatever goal I have in mind. In this case obviously it is adoption. So, DH and I have decided that while we are waiting for everything to settle on the foster care front (supposedly I will know something Monday), we will also start looking into Domestic Infant Adoption. Truth be told though I haven't heard of people doing both, from what I am gathering it looks like most people pick a camp and run with it.

One of the issues I am having is that I can't seem to settle on an agency to work with for it. When I considered this a little over a year ago, I picked an agency here in Michigan nearby but I can't seem to find any reviews on it. (Apparently adoption agency reviews are slim pickins to begin with.) My second choice is and agency that is a lot further away and has reviews but the reviews are not good. I feel lost. I don't know what to do or which agency I should turn to for this. Any advice? Recommendations? Let me know and thanks for reading!

jillianmb · June 2012

I am in Michigan too and I have had friends adopt(ing) from Bethany Christian Services and from Adoption Associates. They are all doing international adoption though, so I am not sure about what their domestic programs look like. From their experiences, they are both great agencies. Adoption Associates seems like they work a bit faster and have slightly better communication with the couple, so I think if we ever do another adoption I would look into them.

I also know someone who adopted a toddler and pre-schooler through either Lutheran Family Services or Catholic Services... I forget which one but might be worth looking into.

lady_chance_99 · June 2012

jillianmb:

I am in Michigan too and I have had friends adopt(ing) from Bethany Christian Services and from Adoption Associates. They are all doing international adoption though, so I am not sure about what their domestic programs look like. From their experiences, they are both great agencies. Adoption Associates seems like they work a bit faster and have slightly better communication with the couple, so I think if we ever do another adoption I would look into them.

I also know someone who adopted a toddler and pre-schooler through either Lutheran Family Services or Catholic Services... I forget which one but might be worth looking into.

Thanks! Bethany was actually the second adoption agency that I was looking at, but from the reviews I am seeing their domestic adoption side is not doing well. Everything from lying to birthmom's to not contacting people back- that's what is scaring me off them so far. I really appreciate your input, and will be looking into adoption associates. Thanks!!

ellekae · June 2012

One thing you have to remember about reviews is that people only post when things are really bad or really good... and if people have a good experience, it means they end up with a child and probably don't have a lot of time to go online to review things. Smile

I read all those reviews too, but I didn't really believe most of them. Considering that they are a huge, national organization that has been around for decades, it doesn't seem far-fetched that there have been some mistakes and issues over the years. That's true of any organization. The reviews are all just one side of the story, and, if all of those things were true, I'm pretty sure that BCS wouldn't be around anymore.

What I love about Bethany is that their mission is not limited to adoption?they focus on supporting and caring for all kinds of people. Which means that they aren't in the business of convincing women to place their babies for adoption in order to make money

Just my two cents. Smile

Art Teacher · June 2012

We worked with Adoption Associates. If you want to talk more about them, let me know. We had a really good experience through their domestic program. We adopted dd at birth.

lady_chance_99 · June 2012

ellekae:

One thing you have to remember about reviews is that people only post when things are really bad or really good... and if people have a good experience, it means they end up with a child and probably don't have a lot of time to go online to review things.

I read all those reviews too, but I didn't really believe most of them. Considering that they are a huge, national organization that has been around for decades, it doesn't seem far-fetched that there have been some mistakes and issues over the years. That's true of any organization. The reviews are all just one side of the story, and, if all of those things were true, I'm pretty sure that BCS wouldn't be around anymore.

What I love about Bethany is that their mission is not limited to adoption?they focus on supporting and caring for all kinds of people. Which means that they aren't in the business of convincing women to place their babies for adoption in order to make money

Just my two cents.

No I completely agree with you... the reason why I was considering going through Bethany in the first place is because when I was born I was placed for adoption through their agency. My mother changed her mind, and decided to keep me. My mother was adopted herself and now with me being unable to concieve it just felt like I was coming full circle with it, but I also want to make sure that I find the right place for us... I feel like if we pick wrong we might be making it so we miss out on our "forever child". It just feels so... difficult. Thanks for responsding and giving some insight. GL

lady_chance_99 · June 2012

Art Teacher:

We worked with Adoption Associates. If you want to talk more about them, let me know. We had a really good experience through their domestic program. We adopted dd at birth.

I think after looking at them I have ruled out Adoption Associates. Thank you for letting pick your brain though!

Art Teacher · June 2012

Oh,okay.

MayDayGirl · July 2012

We are doing foster care an da

we aren't signed with our agency, but they re starting to show our profile to aa moms when they run out of other families. So casually.

silliestbunny · July 2012

In choosing an agency, I think it's important to be very clear what is most important to you... such as:

Average wait time
Size of agency
Cost of using said agency
Number of placements per year
Profile of majority of placements (race and drug exposure)
Proximity
Money at risk
Protocol for handling failed matches and placements

There are so many criteria that one can look at... if you can decide what's important to you, you may have an easier choice. Also, you may want to talk through the criteria here or somewhere... because what something looks like on the surface can be very different (esp wait times).

Good luck!

ctbride08 · July 2012

I'd check with your state - we were not allowed to pursue fostering and DA at the same time.

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