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had to say no today

cogbotcogbot member
in Adoption

Our social worker e-mailed us today about a baby girl that had been diagnosed with Schizencephaly and would would be mentally and physically impaired.   The situation is too much for us too handle, but I feel incredibly sad for this sweet girl. I'm praying that the right family comes along for her.  

Any one else feel guilt when they said no?  

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Re: had to say no today

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    jwpbridejwpbride member

    YES! We just had this happen last week. The baby asphyxiated meconium and had to be resuscitated at birth- we were given hardly any information on how long she was down (the nurse said "not long"- REAL helpful, nurse) and therefore how much brain damage there could possibly be. There is a great chance that she could be diagnosed with cerebral palsy or the like, but not until age 3-4. In the mean time, she will need occupational, physical and feeding/speech therapy. We just do not feel equipped at this time to deal with major special needs and so we had to pass.

    It made me feel better to know that there were "an exceptional" number of families interested in her and come to find out she was placed with parents who have no other children and who have a pediatrician in the family- just what she will need!

    I know it feels terrible now, but it helps me to remember that that was just someone else's baby- ours is still out there and we'll know (and feel comfortable with the situation) when it's our child.  

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    wife to joe 2.2.08. mama to noah 9.5.09.
    After multiple m/c's, a MTHFR diagnosis and the Lord calling both of our hearts in the same direction, we're adopting!
    theluckiest
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    baze2baze2

    I agree..we just turned down a baby girl as well due to addiction issues and drug use. It still crushes us. But it was not our baby. Unfortunately this baby girl did not find her forever family. Therefore, I feel like maybe she WAS our baby..but even with a pediatrician in the family, her issues were bigger than we were.

    I think it just takes time. You will find your forever child.

     

    "Onward"--CathyMD Waiting since 07/5/2011 for our forever child! Yep we are adopting!
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    MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    Yes Everytime.
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    lady_chance_99lady_chance_99
    I haven't had to do this yet, but I can only imagine how hard it must be. Treat yourself to something nice and try to take solace in the knowledge that you just gave someone else an opportunity they may have been waiting a long time for. GL
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