Lurking on PGAL - check this one out (Warning: Sensitive Subject)

BootsOrHearts · June 2012

(Siggy warnings since this thread is from PGAL)

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/66942852.aspx

Ummmmmm this reads like a horror movie script. I don't want to butt in but is this MUD??

Edit: Added warning about sensitivity of subject matter. I do not want to give the impression that I'm making light of this, if it's real.

uneek1323 · June 2012

I really hope it's MUD.

krisztina33 · June 2012

Wowsa! If it isn't, then it is seriously scary and I hope she take steps to protect herself and her baby.

Edit: Wording

Smash2009 · June 2012

Holy sh!t. I hope so...if not, that is one of the worst things I have ever heard, and she needs to get the hell out of there. Whoa.

luvsdogs2 · June 2012

I have a feeling you're not the only one that thinks so, since only 2 people have responded. Feels like MUD, I hope it's MUD. Pretty F'ed up if it's not.

VikingQueen · June 2012

luvsdogs2:
I have a feeling you're not the only one that thinks so, since only 2 people have responded. Feels like MUD, I hope it's MUD. Pretty F'ed up if it's not.

Yes

luvsdogs2 · June 2012

And Scooby says Roh-oh, she's got her full name in her bio. That's not safe. Not safe at all...

katharine25 · June 2012

This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?

She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.

BootsOrHearts · June 2012

katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.

Certainly not making fun of her - it's quite a tale and if it's true, she is in serious trouble and needs help. I find it a bit hard to believe though. My father has alzheimer's so I know how hard that aspect can be.

Smash2009 · June 2012

BootsOrHearts:
katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.
Certainly not making fun of her - it's quite a tale and if it's true, she is in serious trouble and needs help. I find it a bit hard to believe though. My father has alzheimer's so I know how hard that aspect can be.

No one is making fun of her....it is a shocking, scary post. Taking care of parents whether sick, disabled, no matter what is extremely important, but she has to protect herself and her baby. Believe me, if she is posting her story, she knows people are going to be shocked and concerned for all involved. Because it is so shocking and because there are MUD-posters on these forums, it just makes people wonder if it could be MUD. I hope it IS for everyone's sake.

DebateThis · June 2012

katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.

I agree. Does no one here understand Traumatic Brain Injuries and dementia? Either one of those can totally alter a person's personality and ability to function as a human being. TBI's (depending on where the specific injury is located in the brain) can also completely eliminate a person's ability to feel compassion or often many/all emotions.

I don't think this is anywhere near something that would qualify as MUD.

JanetSnakehole · June 2012

DebateThis:
katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.
I agree. Does no one here understand Traumatic Brain Injuries and dementia? Either one of those can totally alter a person's personality and ability to function as a human being. TBI's (depending on where the specific injury is located in the brain) can also completely eliminate a person's ability to feel compassion or often many/all emotions.
I don't think this is anywhere near something that would qualify as MUD.

Thank you to both of you ladies. Janet was going to lose her lunch over this crap post. I can't believe a few of you ladies. And yes, calling someone's life a "horror story" is making fun of them.

EDT: I'm sorry, "horror movie script." Semantics.

BootsOrHearts · June 2012

JanetSnakehole:
DebateThis:
katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.
I agree. Does no one here understand Traumatic Brain Injuries and dementia? Either one of those can totally alter a person's personality and ability to function as a human being. TBI's (depending on where the specific injury is located in the brain) can also completely eliminate a person's ability to feel compassion or often many/all emotions.
I don't think this is anywhere near something that would qualify as MUD.
Thank you to both of you ladies. Janet was going to lose her lunch over this crap post. I can't believe a few of you ladies. And yes, calling someone's life a "horror story" is making fun of them.
EDT: I'm sorry, "horror movie script." Semantics.

My Dad has alzheimer's. He forgets my name and sometimes thinks he still lives in London, gets lost easily and forgets to eat, but he doesn't plot to kill people's unborn babies. This is the part I find a bit unbelievable. Like I say though, I hope for her sake that it's MUD. In the unlikely scenario that it's real, I do feel awful for her.

Petunia844 · June 2012

****siggy warning****

I'm sorry to step in on your board here, but I have to say this re-post bothers me too. Her father not only has dementia, but he has had a traumatic injury and probably ptsd from the sound of it. If I were to post a vent on pgal and have it re-posted without my knowledge for people to debate whether or not it's MUD I'd honestly be really upset. I know sometimes we all re-post things that seem out of the ordinary, but this one I think was a girl who just really needed some support. Sorry, butting back out.

shellyco · June 2012

BootsOrHearts:
JanetSnakehole:
DebateThis:
katharine25:

This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?

She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.

I agree. Does no one here understand Traumatic Brain Injuries and dementia? Either one of those can totally alter a person's personality and ability to function as a human being. TBI's (depending on where the specific injury is located in the brain) can also completely eliminate a person's ability to feel compassion or often many/all emotions.

I don't think this is anywhere near something that would qualify as MUD.

My Dad has alzheimer's. He forgets my name and sometimes thinks he still lives in London, gets lost easily and forgets to eat, but he doesn't plot to kill people's unborn babies. This is the part I find a bit unbelievable. Like I say though, I hope for her sake that it's MUD. In the unlikely scenario that it's real, I do feel awful for her.

While I don't have a problem with the repost, because after all, she did put it out there, I have to agree with the bolded. It is entirely possible for a person who has suffered a TBI to feel/act/think that way. In fact, it isn't altogether abnormal depending on the location and severity of the injury. I don't think it is MUD.

ETA: I missed that he also has dementia. Personality changes and harmful thoughts can also be symptoms of dementia.

LaTi07 · June 2012

:stepping out of lurkdom: This repost isn't necessary. This poor woman is dealing with some very intense things and needs support, not this crap. :back to lurkdom:

GraceInCA · June 2012

I don't think it's MUD. There's nothing in there to be remotely controversial or flameworthy, which is what MUD typically has.

I feel horrible for her. I can't imagine what she's going through right now. I hope she is able to find a good solution where her father and her baby are both safe and cared for. Sadly, there are a lot of people in this country who are trying to balance situations like this, where they are caring for disabled relatives, and sometimes that care requires more than they can give.

buckeyebaby814 · June 2012

katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.

Yes

TBI is very serious and anger/agression is a very real side effect of that, as well as some of the other difficulty they're facing. Boots, I'm sure you weren't reposting to poke, but I also don't think it was necessary to repost and call MUD. I couldn't imagine the heartbreak of having two parents, that I love dearly, battling mental illness.

MWoodside · June 2012

Wow that post is scary. I fear for that woman & her baby.

I see a few people have mentioned this, but I feel compelled to state once again that dememtia & TBI are 2 very different things. Sometimes people get both. TBI patients have such variable effects from their brain injuries that what she is describing is completely, 100% possible.

I hope she takes measures to keep herself & her baby safe.

BootsOrHearts · June 2012

buckeyebaby814:
katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.
TBI is very serious and anger/agression is a very real side effect of that, as well as some of the other difficulty they're facing. Boots, I'm sure you weren't reposting to poke, but I also don't think it was necessary to repost and call MUD. I couldn't imagine the heartbreak of having two parents, that I love dearly, battling mental illness.

Fine! I'm taking my toys and going home, GBCB!

Kidding. You're right, if it's real it is very very sad and I hope this isn't interpreted as poking fun of her, that was not my intent. My spidey sense picked up MUD but I could be wrong.

baby101010 · June 2012

uuuuummmm and why exactly do you assume its MUD??? Just because there are so many issues in her life doesnt mean it isnt true. If nothing else- Ive learned that there are very f-ed up people and f-ed up living situations... My life may be normal- but I am not so naive that I think everyones is as normal/typical as mine.... I feel bad for her. She clearly needs help....

baby101010 · June 2012

BootsOrHearts:
JanetSnakehole:
DebateThis:
katharine25:

This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?

She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.

I agree. Does no one here understand Traumatic Brain Injuries and dementia? Either one of those can totally alter a person's personality and ability to function as a human being. TBI's (depending on where the specific injury is located in the brain) can also completely eliminate a person's ability to feel compassion or often many/all emotions.

I don't think this is anywhere near something that would qualify as MUD.

Thank you to both of you ladies. Janet was going to lose her lunch over this crap post. I can't believe a few of you ladies. And yes, calling someone's life a "horror story" is making fun of them.

EDT: I'm sorry, "horror movie script." Semantics.

My Dad has alzheimer's. He forgets my name and sometimes thinks he still lives in London, gets lost easily and forgets to eat, but he doesn't plot to kill people's unborn babies. This is the part I find a bit unbelievable. Like I say though, I hope for her sake that it's MUD. In the unlikely scenario that it's real, I do feel awful for her.

ANd because your father has Alzheimers you think you know all about Dementia??? Sorry... but I do know about both Dementia and ALzheimers- and while clinically there are some overlapping issues- they are NOT the same. I felt as though her fathers behavior/actions fit a Dementia diagnosis..... before you poke fun- get all your facts please.... SOrry I am trying as best I can not to be a total a$$...

JanetSnakehole · June 2012

BootsOrHearts:
buckeyebaby814:
katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.
TBI is very serious and anger/agression is a very real side effect of that, as well as some of the other difficulty they're facing. Boots, I'm sure you weren't reposting to poke, but I also don't think it was necessary to repost and call MUD. I couldn't imagine the heartbreak of having two parents, that I love dearly, battling mental illness.
Fine! I'm taking my toys and going home, GBCB!
Kidding. You're right, if it's real it is very very sad and I hope this isn't interpreted as poking fun of her, that was not my intent. My spidey sense picked up MUD but I could be wrong.

Your "spidey-sense" is wrong, and quite frankly, I'm disgusted. Not only does her father suffer from these issues, he received his injuries in Iraq fighting for you. (Do you want me to send you a picture of them accepting an assistance check just to prove what an a** you are?) I seriously hope you've learned some sort of lesson today ... And I hope you offer her up a HUGE apology.

katharine25 · June 2012

JanetSnakehole:
BootsOrHearts:
buckeyebaby814:
katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.
TBI is very serious and anger/agression is a very real side effect of that, as well as some of the other difficulty they're facing. Boots, I'm sure you weren't reposting to poke, but I also don't think it was necessary to repost and call MUD. I couldn't imagine the heartbreak of having two parents, that I love dearly, battling mental illness.
Fine! I'm taking my toys and going home, GBCB!
Kidding. You're right, if it's real it is very very sad and I hope this isn't interpreted as poking fun of her, that was not my intent. My spidey sense picked up MUD but I could be wrong.
Your "spidey-sense" is wrong, and quite frankly, I'm disgusted. Not only does her father suffer from these issues, he received his injuries in Iraq fighting for you. (Do you want me to send you a picture of them accepting an assistance check just to prove what an a** you are?) I seriously hope you've learned some sort of lesson today ... And I hope you offer her up a HUGE apology.

Yes x 1000

BootsOrHearts · June 2012

JanetSnakehole:
BootsOrHearts:
buckeyebaby814:
katharine25:
This re-post/post bothers me. Because she doesn't have a picture perfect life you assume it's MUD? Because this woman didn't kick her veteran father with dementia to the curb the second she found out she was pregnant?
She very clearly has a lot on her plate and a lot to think about. She doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud and made fun of in this post.
TBI is very serious and anger/agression is a very real side effect of that, as well as some of the other difficulty they're facing. Boots, I'm sure you weren't reposting to poke, but I also don't think it was necessary to repost and call MUD. I couldn't imagine the heartbreak of having two parents, that I love dearly, battling mental illness.
Fine! I'm taking my toys and going home, GBCB!
Kidding. You're right, if it's real it is very very sad and I hope this isn't interpreted as poking fun of her, that was not my intent. My spidey sense picked up MUD but I could be wrong.
Your "spidey-sense" is wrong, and quite frankly, I'm disgusted. Not only does her father suffer from these issues, he received his injuries in Iraq fighting for you. (Do you want me to send you a picture of them accepting an assistance check just to prove what an a** you are?) I seriously hope you've learned some sort of lesson today ... And I hope you offer her up a HUGE apology.

Fair enough, if you know this to be valid, I will certainly send her an apology via PM.

katigox · June 2012

Boots, I'm sorry, I don't know how to reply to you via an inbox message (never have tried before), but I just wanted to come over here, and assure everyone that yes it is true. BUT, I understand why people might think it isn't. And I certainly don't hold anyone on this thread in contempt for questioning it. It IS quite dramatic, and downright unsafe right now, and that's why I'm in close contact with the VA about it, BUT if I was an outsider who heard my life story, I would probably question it, too.

I want to thank those who offered support, but please know that I have no anger for anyone in this thread wondering out loud whether my story is accurate. As it's been stated above, my name is public, and you might be able to find some research on your own accord to validate my situation - but I don't want to add anything more myself (like documents, or hospital pictures), only because I still need to respect his privacy as best as I can (I know I'm pushing that limit, by even sharing as much as I have).

But I needed to vent out loud on the PGAL board, and I understand that by putting it out in the open like that, it allows people to question it. I'm sorry that it lead to some back and forth feelings among the people on this board, and hope that if anyone has any questions or concerns, you may know that you can raise them to me personally, and I will try to answer as honestly as I can, while still protecting my father's medical privacy.

Thank you Boots for reaching out to me personally, and though I appreciate the apology, I understand the "why" behind this thread, and wondering if it was made-up. I have to go dark for one moment, and sadly admit, that some times I wish it was.

**BIG thank you to JanetSnakehole though, for being able to validate my story!**

BootsOrHearts · June 2012

katigox:
Boots, I'm sorry, I don't know how to reply to you via an inbox message (never have tried before), but I just wanted to come over here, and assure everyone that yes it is true. BUT, I understand why people might think it isn't. And I certainly don't hold anyone on this thread in contempt for questioning it. It IS quite dramatic, and downright unsafe right now, and that's why I'm in close contact with the VA about it, BUT if I was an outsider who heard my life story, I would probably question it, too.
I want to thank those who offered support, but please know that I have no anger for anyone in this thread wondering out loud whether my story is accurate. As it's been stated above, my name is public, and you might be able to find some research on your own accord to validate my situation - but I don't want to add anything more myself (like documents, or hospital pictures), only because I still need to respect his privacy as best as I can (I know I'm pushing that limit, by even sharing as much as I have).
But I needed to vent out loud on the PGAL board, and I understand that by putting it out in the open like that, it allows people to question it. I'm sorry that it lead to some back and forth feelings among the people on this board, and hope that if anyone has any questions or concerns, you may know that you can raise them to me personally, and I will try to answer as honestly as I can, while still protecting my father's medical privacy.
Thank you Boots for reaching out to me personally, and though I appreciate the apology, I understand the "why" behind this thread, and wondering if it was made-up. I have to go dark for one moment, and sadly admit, that some times I wish it was.
**BIG thank you to JanetSnakehole though, for being able to validate my story!**

Thank you for responding and again, I am truly sorry for what you're dealing with. If there's any way I can help, just let me know. Big hugs to you, you need them!

JanetSnakehole · June 2012

katigox:
**BIG thank you to JanetSnakehole though, for being able to validate my story!**

You're welcome. I hated to get involved, but this post just really got under my skin. I'm sorry you were hurt by it all, but I am proud of you for not letting it get to you. I don't post much, but I couldn't understand the repeat claims in this thread by the original poster claiming this was MUD. (Even after so many others voiced otherwise.) But I am thankful that she realized her mistake and apologized. I don't want to be singled out, because there were many ladies that weighed-in with the same reaction, so be thankful for them as well.

Best of luck to everyone involved.

(And katigox, YGPM. No need to respond.)

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