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December 2010 Moms
kj07
member
What're your timeout rules/routine?
kj07
member
This will be a PnR. B's been hitting more in frustration and anger, as well as standing on his rocking chair. So I think we need to start with time-outs. We can't use a corner because he loves to play in the corner.
So, what do you do? Where do you do it? How do you do it? What infractions are timeout worthy in your house?
Thanks!
BFP #1 4/14/10. Big B born 12/28/10.
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.
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Re: What're your timeout rules/routine?
L likes to stand on his chair, too. We tell him "no" and tell him to sit on his butt, and say that he can fall and get hurt if he stands. He sits down, but then stands again, so we repeat. We give him three strikes, then we take the chair away, which leads to lots of tears.
That is punishment for that offense only. He doesn't really hit, but he does throw things every once in a while. Again, if we tell him no and offer an explanation about why throwing things is wrong, and he still does it, I will hold him on my lap, with his arms at his sides for a minute. He HATES being held for no reason, so this works. He can't do anything when he's held.
He still likes to be held while reading, etc, but he's held in more of a cuddly way then.
Depending on what O is doing dictates my actions.
If he is throwing toys/standing on his riding toy/etc, I take away the offending object. If he is jumping on the couch/hitting/etc and there is nothing to take away he gets a time out. Time out is just him sitting in the middle of the room on the floor for a minute and a half. (it is recommended that timeout only last as many minutes as the childs age) He actually stays there amazingly well, even if he is really mad about it. I always explain to him why he gets the punishment that he did but I know at this age he doesn't really understand the explaination part.
I really wish redirection worked for O but he has a one track mind and is super stubborn. For now the above works for us and usually stops the bad behavior.
ETA: I usually give 2 or 3 warnings, time out and loss of toys isn't automatic. I'd say it's 50/50 whether ot not he listens to warnings.
All of this except crayons because those are special and only used when DH and I are both here to supervise or when we are at dc
We do timeout for standing on the coffee table and for throwing objects AT Mommy! DH has other random little things that bother him enough to declare timeout too.
We sit LO in a dining room chair for 1 minute in the middle of the room. If he stands up in the chair, I just go over and sit him back down until his minute is up. Usually he just sits there and cries. We don't talk to him while he's there. Then we tell him why he sat there again (we told him when we put him there too) and give him a kiss and let him go play. Usually we have to repeat it two to three times for the same action before it sinks in. He likes to test us to see if we'll really put him back if he does it again.
We use the PnP for time out. We follow the Supernanny rule of 1 minute per year of age, so right now he gets 90 seconds. After the time is up, I ask him if he's going to be a good boy. When he says/shakes his head yes, I take him out.
Throwing something very roughly that he shouldn't be (like a bowl full of snacks!), going behind the couch & getting to the floor lamp, and messing with the buttons on the side of the TV after we've told him "no", are the most common reasons for time out. Or like the other day when he climbed up on the kitchen cart & knocked over the brita pitcher!
Our los are peas in a pod. Occassional hitters/scratchers who love playing in corners! We do timeouts only for scratching & biting at present. We had been doing them in his crib, but the pedi suggested that he's supposed to be learning self-control in time-out, so we've just (in the past week) started doing them in a chair in the dining room facing outward from the wall. The 90 seconds starts when he is calm and when he stays there. (which meant the times we did it last week, it took lots of leading back to the timeout spot and waiting for him to stand there, but he eventually relented.)
We haven't quite figured out whether or how to do the warning for biting or hitting. It kind of seems like acts of aggression shouldn't get a warning, but maybe they should. Thoughts?
Last weekend, I tried doing a time out outside in our yard (just stood him by the side of the house. Eventually, it actually worked, which was pretty stunning, since we're both new to this time-out gig.
Um, yeah, me too.
Ditto! Although, DS doesn't throw things at people, hit, scratch, bite, etc. And generally responds to "no no" - I'm not too worried!
My little man at 0-1-2
We also do the sit on our lap for 1 min - 90 seconds, which he HATES being confined if there is no reason. We tell him to stop and give him until the count of 3 to stop (which actually does work for us 2/3 of the time, he'll stop before we get to 3), the other times he ignores, or the best ones... where he gives a devilish smile and continues to do it.
Infractions that warrant time outs are dwindling because we are trying to use redirection, but include continued hitting or anything that could cause bodily harm (scaling the gates, standing on his chair).
I am thinking about getting a small mat and using that as our time-out spot. It gives him a physical boundary to work with. I know daycare has the time-out spot marked in construction paper on the wall, but I don't really want that as part of my home decor
.
My initial thoughts were to do a warning, and do it for infractions like hiting/biting and standing on the chair (especially his rocking chair). Smaller things, like playing with the blinds, I think we'll still try redirection.
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.