WWPAIFD Re: Nanny? (sorry, kinda long) — The Bump
Pregnant after IF

WWPAIFD Re: Nanny? (sorry, kinda long)

So MH and I found a nanny that we were very happy with.  The price was reasonable, her experience was great, her interview went perfectly.  We left the interview telling her to send her references, and if they all checked out we would be interested in making her an offer.  We also agreed she would come by last Friday (the 22nd) to see the house and meet the dogs and make sure that was all going to be okay.  (The interview took place last Saturday - the 16th.)  Well, we didn't hear from her until Sunday (the 23rd) and she did not respond to a phone call, text message, or email.  When she emailed us on Sunday, she apologized for not responding sooner, but said she had to suddenly leave town because her grandfather was ill. 

Do we give up on what we thought was the perfect nanny because she might be unreliable?  How hard would it have been to send a quick text saying that she had a family emergency and would contact us soon?  During the interview she told us that flakey people were one of her pet peeves, and she thought the most important tool for a parent/nanny relationship was communication.  And yet, she did not communicate whatsoever. 

Or do we believe that she had a family emergency, did not have time to contact us, and give her a second chance?  This is my daughter, I need to feel comfortable with whoever is taking care of her.  But we haven't found any nannies even close to as great as she seemed.  What would you do?

TTC with PCOS since November 2009
IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
beta #2 11/28 = 2055
Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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Re: WWPAIFD Re: Nanny? (sorry, kinda long)

  • Hmm, that's a tough one.  It's a bit concerning that she didn't have time to send a quick txt to you while she had to go away suddenly, but if you really like her, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt - maybe she completely forgot to get back to you due to her grandfather's illness.

    Have you received her references yet?  If it were me, I'd contact the people on the references and ask them specifically about this - whether she has ever not responded in time to them.  If the references all check out good, then I'd have a plain discussion with the nanny telling her how you were concerned about her lack of response that one time, and said you will not accept similar behavior in the future.  GL!

    TTC since 10/2008  RE consult 6/2010 Dx:Unexplaied IF

    Failed multiple cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI

    3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c. 

    Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN

    Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 BFP 2/23  EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~

    Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!
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  • kegkeg
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments
    member

    Honestly, it would be a red flag for me.  But, we were interviewing nannies and found one we liked and were even discussing contract with her and she flaked on us (acted interested, but apparently really wasn't). 

    But, I do like pp's suggestion of discussing this situation with her references and bringing up your concerns with her.  Depending on the responses you receive and your gut sense (I think this is very important!), you can then decide how to proceed.  

    2004-Started TTC; Nov 2007-Lap with endo removed; Jan 2008-Ectopic (mtx); April 2008-IVF #1 (bfp, twin girls); March 2011-FET (cp); June 2012-IVF #2 (bfp, singleton, EDD 3-19-12)

    ***Twin fraternal girls born at 35w6d in 12/2008***

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  • image keg:

    Honestly, it would be a red flag for me.  But, we were interviewing nannies and found one we liked and were even discussing contract with her and she flaked on us (acted interested, but apparently really wasn't). 

    But, I do like pp's suggestion of discussing this situation with her references and bringing up your concerns with her.  Depending on the responses you receive and your gut sense (I think this is very important!), you can then decide how to proceed.  

    this would be my suggestion! good luck

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers



    TTC since 2005
    missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
    3 failed femara iui cycles-
    moving on to IVF oct 2011
    ER nov. 7th
    tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
    lots of +hpt!!
    beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
    beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
    another miscarriage 12/23
    moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
    ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
    ET 4/28 3 transfered
    Beta #1- 356
    Beta #2- 870

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • TJ1979TJ1979
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    member
    Thanks everyone.  That was sort of my plan, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't being too generous by giving the references a chance.  Part of me just wanted to say goodbye right away.  But she has been so great otherwise.  At least now I know exactly what I want to ask her references!  Thanks again.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPicimage
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  • Drop her like a hot potato. Sorry. There is no reason she couldn't have reached out. We had a nanny work for us very briefly who did something like that at the beginning. Two weeks in and poof she was gone. I'm sorry but like any job you really want to have you show up for the interview or call and make arrangements before you miss it. 
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