Can I vent please?
Shar77
member
Ok, so I don't post often but I have a TTC vent. EVERYONE AROUND ME IS PREGNANT AND I AM NOT! I know we have only been trying a few short months. I just started charting but this week alone I have found out that 7 people are pregnant and 2 of my neighbors had baby showers this weekend. I just feel flustered and irritated today! I don't really want to complain to my wonderful and patient husband but I just needed to get it off my chest. Hopefully when I test next week I will be pregnant as well but I have to tell you, when I came home today and found out my neighbor was pregnant and having a shower I nearly broke down. I am so sad, I really want to have a family. Last night we had a pre-Thanksgiving family dinner and I found out someone else was pregnant. OH and my mom's best friend who is about 41 (my mom is 60) is also pregnant - found that out last night as well - so I guess that is 8 people this week. 
I am so sad right now.
Re: Can I vent please?
Oh, please don't feel sad! Try to stay positive! I'm sure you know that stressing is not helpful in any situation, especially if you are trying to get pregnant. Stay positive and yes, you should share your feelings with your DH, he will tell you that it will happen. I can't wait to see your post when it happens to you!
aren't you happy for the people who are pregnant? it would behoove you to gain some humility and some patience. it took us close to a year to get pregnant. during that time i was definitely frustrated at times.....but it never got in the way of my being happy for those around me getting pregnant. you have no idea how long they were trying, or what their circumstances are.
parenthood is about patience. might as well start working on it now. you'll need it. (and this is coming from someone who is working on it as well.)
oh, and i know from experience - the minute you stop overthinking it and stressing about it - it will happen!
asolare is right, you really do just have to be patient at this point. I know it's frustrating, but if you've only been TTC for a few months, then you need to give yourself a break. It took DH and I almost 9 months to conceive--I hardly know anyone who got pregnant right away after they started trying. And all these people you know who are pregnant--you never know how long it took them to conceive. One of my closest friends just had her 1st baby and it took her 4 years of trying. So I considered myself pretty lucky with only 9 months.
The thing that annoyed me was the lag time before pg tests would work ;-) I hated that inbetween time. I felt like the second you get pregnant, there should be some sure fire physical sign you are pregnant.
too bad it doesn't work that way!!
In the mean time, have a glass of wine or two (trust me, this is a luxury you really might come to miss) and enjoy your life right now as it is.
I know you are upset over your situation, but nobody on here attacked you at all. everyone just offered you some sound advice since almost all of us have been in your exact situation.
You are well within your right to feel sorry for yourself. It's hard to watch everyone else be pregnant. I think the only to do is to not say something that is hurtful to the women that you find out are expecting.
When you're the one going through it, it's hard to acknowledge that there is anyone out there who is or has gone through it, but we're here. Once you become pregnant, you'll appreciate so much because you'll know how much you wanted it.
I keep saying that I had it harder than some and easier than some, but it has been so worth it.
Good luck.
I just want to say that I thought your post was really upsetting. Telling a woman who is not getting pregnant to gain some humility and patience isn't very nice. You know nothing about me and how I am in my everyday life. I am supportive and positive to every person that is pregnant but on the inside I am hurting because it's not happening to me. You don't know me or my past health issues that might be preventing me from getting pregnant. The way you said it was very hurtful. I would never flame someone based on their feelings.
I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. Venting is just that -- venting, and *EVERY*one has moments when they can't or don't cope with things as well as they would like. It's perfectly natural to feel frustrated, and to feel an absence more acutely when you are surrounded by its presence in others. I was never able to get the knack of charting, myself. I just bit the bullet and bought a CBEFM. I figured it was worth the $ to not be going batshi! crazy trying to figure out those @#$@# charts! ;-)
If this is really eating at you all day, every day, you might think about keeping a blessings journal. Nothing major - just write down 3 things in every night that you are grateful for, then keep it on hand to help cheer you up when you are really feeling bleak. When you are faced with a lot of scary what-ifs and disappointment, it can be really helpful to remind yourself every day of what is going right in your world. Good luck!!!
you said it yourself. i think you have bigger issues. but hey, what do i know? i just reacted to what you wrote. it's a public message board. sorry if i didn't tell you what you want to hear. it took us 7 months to get pregnant, i miscarried, then it took us another 5 months to get to a successful pregnancy. i know how it is. i definitely felt like everyone around me was pregnant at times. but i thought it was ironic, and almost funny i guess. i didn't feel SO SAD because i felt blessed in so many other ways. i had faith that it would happen. i guess if you came on here and said you were trying for oh, maybe a year, i might think your feelings were warranted. but you just sound immature. sorry.
I don't know how long a few short months is, but I can understand being frustrated. When you are ready to be pregnant you are ready. It took us almost a year, and after I hit the seven month mark I felt like it was never going to happen. We charted, used the CBEFM, and nothing seemed to work. When it finally did happen, I was in a state of shock and didn't believe it.
The only thing for me that was different than a lot of other people in my position is that I really, truly was happy for pregnant friends and family. I didn't associate my void with their joy. I know that's hard for a lot of people, but if you are always comparing what you have to those around you, you'll never feel complete. I hate the thought of friends not being happy for me right now. It makes me sad to think that I have always been there and been happy for them, but because of whatever they are going through seeing me pregnant makes them upset.
I'm sorry you feel like everyone around you is pregnant and you are not, but your time will come. Try to focus on what you do have at the moment, and I agree with bh, enjoy a glass of wine! Oh, how I miss my wine.
It took us about 10 months to get pregnant. I was charting/temp. taking, using preseed etc.
We bought the CBEFM and got pregnant the first cycle using it. Hmmmmm....coincidence?
GL!
I have to agree. We had a really hard time getting pregnant with Ian. We had 2 miscarriages and 11 months to get pregnant and have it stick. It was so hard to see everyone around you getting pregnant (especially when people have suprise pregnancies).
I hope it happens for you soon!
Mackenzie Beth 10.26.05 Ian James 08.09.08 Rhys Edward 07.05.10 William Brendan 04.17.12
I am really trying to remain positive. I feel like everything just hit me at once and I was having a really bad day. I think I will most likely keep my frustration off the internet from now on.
I am charting and I used FR OPK this month just to see if my charting was actually accurate which I was happy that it was. I know it will happen. It's just a matter of time and I think all people deserve to have good and bad days.
Thank you to those who had positive encouragement. It really helped.
I can sympathize with you... DH and I have been trying for 16 months... at about month 8 is when I started to feel the same way. We reached the one year mark with no successful BFP's and started seeking IF advice from an RE. Without charting and OPK's you really can't tell what your body is doing. Keep up with them and I'd have to say, timing is everything. Literally... it all boils down to timing. Every Dr I've seen, every NFP counselor, every mother... says it all comes down to timing. Good Luck in your journey, because thats what this is...
Theresa
I'd have to agree that some of the pp were just rude.
I wish you all the luck (and baby dust!) in the world...