S/o showers and tackiness

PeonyPumps · June 2012

Would you ladies throw a 2nd baby celebration party either before or after the new baby comes just to celebrate the birth of the child? It would be specified please not to bring gifts.

Alyssa102 · June 2012

I don't think it is tacky to have a second "shower" to celebrate. With my sister's second I organized a shower for her and in lieu of gifts, people brought per-made meals that she can heat up, so she didn't have to cook.

LiteraryFoodie · June 2012

In our faith tradition (Catholic) the time to do that would be a Baptism. In my family the baptism is usually followed by a celebration with family at the parent's home.

If you aren't religious maybe have a "Come meet the baby" gathering whenever you are comfortable having people over after the birth. I would still specify no gifts. I would avoid the use of the word "shower" ("shower" implies "showering with gifts").

Allycat11 · June 2012

In my family, second showers are tacky and considered gift grabby. We also view showers as an event to "shower" the MTB with gifts and advice as she is welcomed into motherhood, not as a celebration of the baby. I think a meet and greet party after the baby is born (with no registry or mention of gifts) is a perfectly acceptable way to celebrate a new life. Most people in my family will purchase gifts for a new baby no matter if it is the 1st or 5th, but a shower with a registry (from the point of view of my family) is to welcome the MTB into motherhood, not to celebrate a new baby.

sesigs · June 2012

If you want to celebrate baby I would personally do a sip and see type event after the birth. I think having a party before the baby comes defeats the purpose of celebrating baby.

pamiva1 · June 2012

I prefer to have a shower rather than a party for the new baby, unless I was going to wait until the baby was a few months old. Esp with this baby being born in December, I probably wont' want a lot of people around he or she when she's tiny to try to protect it from colds. I see nothing wrong with second showers, and in my group of friends they are not about gifts at all, but rather an excuse to get together to celebrate the new life!

Optimus+Prime · June 2012

This is a gray area for me.

I had a shower with my first son. It was lovely and all of my friends and family came.

My son is not my fiance's biological son and he wasn't in my life during that time period. If I were to be thrown a second shower, it would be by my fiance's family and only that side would be in attendance.

I would not expect nor would I ask anyone for a 2nd shower on my side. My children will be 3 years apart and I still have most of the baby stuff I used with my son. I would perceive that as tacky.

CupcakeKaper · June 2012

I would do it after the baby was born...maybe when she was like a month old so that people could come and meet her, but I wouldn't make it a shower (or a 'sprinkle'). It would be a come meet the baby party more than a shower.

MoreThanABride · June 2012

I would like to have a party for this baby, but I would not want to have a second shower and I sure as heck don't want a bunch of people getting their germs on it when it is tiny, so it is a grey area for me too.

CallMeLauraJane · June 2012

I would. Not for myself, but my bestie has already said that if I have a girl then she's definitely throwing me some kind of shower or get together. She's pg, too, and having another boy so we're in agreement that she gets a meet and greet after her baby arrives.

I don't see anything wrong with having a small shower for close friends and family or a "sip and see" after baby is born or even a diaper shower for 2nd time babies. Everyone needs diapers... no matter what # kid this is.

denise_m · June 2012

Because we have a history of SIDS, we do not do parties and stuff with LOs until after 4 months. And you're delivering in cold, flu and RSV season. Do you want to have a party with people who are possibly carrying those germs?

Personally, if we did a celebration for this baby like we have in the past (a family friendly, no gift celebration) I would do it before baby came.

mistresscox · June 2012

Don't call it a "shower" if you do decide to do something. The point of a shower is to "shower" the expected mother with gifts, so throwing a shower automatically means to bring a gift IMO.

If you really want to do something do a "meet the baby" party where people are invited to come and visit for a bit. We did this with DD (born in July) and had a great time! She ended up just nursing basically the whole time, so I just sat and visited with people while she nursed. Some people brought gifts, some didn't-but there was no pressure to bring a gift. The whole point was to visit with people that I enjoy being around.

Todd&Laura · June 2012

I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't expect one.

Mash67 · June 2012

I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Our son will be almost 6 by the time this baby is born. I saved all his clothes and the only things that we will need to buy are a new crib, swing and car seat/ stroller combo, which all will be gender neutral. and then any thing we want to purchase for the nursery.

Today some one posted about the gender announcement party, and I think that would be a cute Idea rather than having a baby shower for #2... plus my family all lives an 2 Hrs away, and I'm not sure if they would want to come up for it, so I don't really know who will throw me one. I also would like the men involved. My dad was soo into my last shower and gave up his "Man card" to join... which his best friend and neighbors all decided to join in as well.. it was quite hilarious! I don't think I will specify no gifts, just because every one would still want to bring one due to just being excited for us. Plus all my extended family knows our struggles so I feel that they would be more inclined to help!

saturdaynightdoubletree · June 2012

Personally, I think second showers and even "sprinkles" are majorly tacky. If you're having a no gift party once the baby is born, that's a different story, but maybe not necessary. Friends and family usually visit after a baby is born and bring small gifts, so why throw a party unless you're looking for something (totally my opinion, my mom is a major party pooper and hates "soliciting gifts").

ella.mabel · June 2012

I probably won't do anything for our 2nd child for a number of reasons:

1) I don't care for entertaining, especially right after a baby. I don't want to feel like i have to clean my house, when i should just be focusing on the baby and my recovering vag (or making sure my toddler is getting attention)

2) Germs

3) I plan on nursing again and want to be able to pop a boob out whenever i need to and for however long it takes without worrying about entertaining a room full of people

4) I don't like the whole "pass the baby around" thing. It just stresses me out.

5) Anybody who wants to come over and meet the new baby is welcome to come over anyway and I just prefer smaller groups so that people can have more quality time.

That's just my preference though.

Angel0423 · June 2012

I hav never heard of meet the baby parties or sip and see's until the bump. I have never heard of non-shower baby celebrations either. I would never throw myself a shower no matter what I want to disguise it as. If someone throws me a second shower I will gladly accept because i like cake and if people want to buy me stuff that's awesome! But I wouldn't expect a full out huge shower like before (i honestly wouldn't EXPECT anything), I'd just sit back and relax, if someone wants to have a party great, if not, fine. It's not a need, it's a gift.

Todd&Laura · June 2012

ella.mabel:
I probably won't do anything for our 2nd child for a number of reasons:

1) I don't care for entertaining, especially right after a baby. I don't want to feel like i have to clean my house, when i should just be focusing on the baby and my recovering vag (or making sure my toddler is getting attention)

2) Germs

3) I plan on nursing again and want to be able to pop a boob out whenever i need to and for however long it takes without worrying about entertaining a room full of people

4) I don't like the whole "pass the baby around" thing. It just stresses me out.

5) Anybody who wants to come over and meet the new baby is welcome to come over anyway and I just prefer smaller groups so that people can have more quality time.

That's just my preference though.

I feel exactly the same way!!

holly321 · June 2012

Right after A was born, a bunch of our friends had a dinner, at our house, for us. They all brought different dishes. It was a nice way for people to see the baby.

And I wouldn't worry too much about avoiding everyone due to germs, with all the early trips to the pediatricians, you are often exposed.

BabyShipp · June 2012

I wouldn't ever consider throwing myself a shower. Kind of tacky IMO. My mother / sister / moms bestie / MIL threw me my shower for my 1st. It was very nice and I enjoyed seeing everyone. I really have no need for a second shower as I have everything I need still from round one. We didn't get rid of anything except things we had in excess which we donated.

The only thing I can imagine us doing is "come meet baby", but I'm not sold on this idea yet either for reasons PP'ers listed above. Mostly, I'm not sure I'd like to entertain a house full of people after LO is born. I liked last time where we had the first two weeks alone at home, then slowly family and close friends stopped by a couple at time to visit. This will probably be how it goes until its warmer out and maybe we can have a cookout with the family.

this decaf life · June 2012

Alyssa102:
I don't think it is tacky to have a second "shower" to celebrate. With my sister's second I organized a shower for her and in lieu of gifts, people brought per-made meals that she can heat up, so she didn't have to cook.

That's a really cute idea! I wouldn't ask anyone to host it for me so if no one offered I'd consider throwing myself a party just for another get together before LO.

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