Agreeing on baby names... — The Bump
January 2013 Moms

Agreeing on baby names...

Me and my hubby have already agreed on a babygirl name is the baby turns out being a girl, but on a boy name it's a different story! My husband wants the baby to be a Jr. to him since his first name is a family name, he has it his father has it and his grandfather has it. My whole problem is I may be a little bit selfish but I want me child if it happens to be a boy to have an original name. I don't know how to talk to him without making him feel bad about not wanting to name our child after him or his dad or his grandfather. I have already played the middle name card saying we could name the babyboy after his family if I can give him a middle name and call him by that, but he wasn't having it. Can anybody give me some advice?

Re: Agreeing on baby names...

  • Yikes. I am not a bit a fan of Jr. and I  think kids should have their own name.

     

    However, at the end of the day you BOTH have to agree on the name. I think your DH is being stubborn about this issue. I know that you already have a name for a girl, but the only fair thing here is if you get to choose the name for the girl if he gets to keep Jr. Maybe, you can look for another girls name if you are not 100% set on the name.

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  • My husband has a family name as his first name and HATES it as a first name. We will be using it as the middle name and we are both happy with that :) may I ask why you are so against a Jr.?
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  • If he's stuck on a Jr. specifically, like Bob Jr., you can always argue that technically your baby wouldn't be Jr. It would be Bob the 4th. (Bob IV? How do you write that?) IMO, Jr. is only really appropriate when it's the second in line. 
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  • My husband has a family name for his middle name and he thought for sure his parents would be disappointed if we didn't use it for our child if it's a boy. I brought it up to his Dad one day and he said they wouldn't care either way if we did or didn't use it.. so now DH agreed not to use it.  It's a horrible name, it's a French last name from over 200 years ago.
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  • image runlong3:
    If he's stuck on a Jr. specifically, like Bob Jr., you can always argue that technically your baby wouldn't be Jr. It would be Bob the 4th. (Bob IV? How do you write that?) IMO, Jr. is only really appropriate when it's the second in line. 

    I agree

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    You both need to love the name - bottom line. If you really don't love junior (though technically IV) then DH needs to respect that and you both need to find a name you like together. That being said - why not just hold any further talk until you know the sex for sure? My fianc? and I are in a similar situation. We both agreed on a girls name immediately but are having trouble with a boys name. We decided last week there is no point in going back and forth on a boys name if we aren't even having a boy! GL!  

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  • image runlong3:
    If he's stuck on a Jr. specifically, like Bob Jr., you can always argue that technically your baby wouldn't be Jr. It would be Bob the 4th. (Bob IV? How do you write that?) IMO, Jr. is only really appropriate when it's the second in line. 

    This. 100%. Jr is ONLY for the second in line. I think you just need to be open and honest with your husband about your feelings. You both need to like and agree on the name. It can't just be one person doing all the choosing.

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  • I had the same argument with my DH... I really wanted my dad's first name as the middle name for a boy, but DH wanted the boy's name to be a Jr. Well, to be honest I don't really like my DH's first name; it's a name that people mess up a lot. Also my uncle is having a really hard time with his credit right now because his son is a Jr. and their stuff keeps getting switched on their credit reports because they have the same name. I used that argument and also said that if he'd agree to let use my dad's name as the middle name, he could choose the first name. That is where we stand with it for now... LOL. Hope you guys are able to come to an agreement!
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  • I actually LOVE DH's name and would love for our baby to be a III (but DH hates his middle name...and refuses to name his kid that.)  But he still wants a "D" name...and the only one we can semi-agree on is Dane (which I am not crazy over).

    We don't have a girls name picked out either.  I am trying not to push the issue until our 20 week ultrasound.

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  • Could you give baby boy your DH's name but then call him by a middle name? So he can be unique in having his own name but still share in the family trend?
  • My husband is a Jr and he hates it. He actually has a neat name (Gustuf) and it fits him way better then it fits his dad. But really he says it was confusing growing up and having 2 in the house with the same name and he is a big believer that everyone deserves their own special name. I think really what happened was his dad and him are VERY different and they used the fact that he was his dads "jr" to kind of make him feel a bit bad that he was not into stuff his dad thought he should be into as a boy.

    I will just say that it was a tradition in the family that was broke with my son and so I have been there. If you don't like the idea then  think it is fine to veto it if he is also allowed to veto a name you like.

    I like the compromise of the middle name being DH's. I guess DH is not going with that? It does not have to DH's middle names as DS's, it can be DH's first name as DS's middle.

    Maybe you could mention to him that some kids really want a special name that no one else in the house has? My DH won't even use his "jr" for example. He says that a grown man being called a "jr" just kind of sucks, LOL.(according to DH)

    Come to think of it DH is technically not a Jr. His dad goes by SR so I guess they just did it that way...it has been a family name for a long time.  LOL now that will bug me.

    It is only fair it you BOTH agree on the name.  Maybe a form of the name so it is similar but different?

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  • Oh and maybe drop the subject and come back to it after the 2 week ultrasound. If you choose to find out the sex you may have a girl and it could be a non issue. Or maybe he will change his mind by then. You never know.
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  • I agree w/ the other ladies about needing to agree w/ DH on a name not going w/ the pressure we must name after the family thing.  I had a friend who had same name as his dad and it was terrible calling their house bc you'd ask for the friend and the dad would be put on the phone.. It was embarrassing as a kid I remember! Its nice not to have to uphold some tradition.. New tradition is great too and being an individual I feel is what most people want in life anyways.

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  • I'm not a fan of Jr. names. I used to work for a credit reporting agency and family members who share names can have anightmare with credit reports. After I saw all of the issues that pop up I told DH no way would we name a child a name even similar to our own names. 

     

    We each have to agree 100% with any name or it is off the list. Our son has an original first name and his middle name is a family name. This baby will be the same.


  • What about switching the order of the names?  Using DH's middle as the first and his first as the middle.  That way the name is original to your son, but still holds the family name.

  • We did not want a Jr, so that wasnt an argument, but I did want to "honor" DH somehow. We gave DS the same initials as DH and used DH's middle name as the same.....would he consider this?
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