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Little vent. A lot of loathing.

HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
in Blended Families

I'm sure this is petty but OMG am I just in awe of the audaciousness and condescending pissy attitude/tone that BM has with DH.

They normally only communicate in text/email form, and that is bad enough. She called and left a voicemail last night and DH listened to it on speaker. I can't tell you how high my blood pressure went listening to her.

She speaks to him and treats him as if he is the hired help, not an equal parent. He has spent so much money and time and effort and she just does what the heck she wants, when she wants and how she wants. Most of the time nothing huge that can be contempt, just annoying crap that makes life difficult when we don't have the kids. She is a master manipulator when you "call her" on it though and I swear can make him the bad guy when he stands up to her. Nothing, literally NOTHING works with this woman. Not nice, not stern, not facts not anything. I'm so tired of dealing with the crazy, and I can't imagine how sick DH is of her. I swear she just wants the CS and for DH to fall off the face of the earth.

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Re: Little vent. A lot of loathing.

  • 10-4LilBuddy10-4LilBuddy member

    Ugh.  That is so frustrating.  It's just a huge power trip for her to have someone to push around.  Perhaps all these little things can add up to a big thing when you document it all?  Does the CO have anything that she's consistently violating?

    It's hard being the bigger person.  :(  Good luck.

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  • WahooWahoo member

    If its her policy to only text or email, your DH should text her "your message was cut off.  Please text me the details of what you left in your message."  I'm sure she left a voice message b/c she knew that whatever she had to say would only look bad in written form.

    Maybe your DH could benefit from therapy in standing up to her?  Not that he is the one with the problem, but sometimes therapists can provide you with tools to deal with manipulators.  Either therapy or a few self-help books....I think there is one called Manipulators or toxic people. 

    G/L

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member

    I feel like I'm always arguing with you. =(

    Like you, XH and I are long distance. And truthfully, I don't see him as an equal parent. If I'm being generous, our ratio of parenting days is something like 335:30.

    Even if XH tried--which he doesn't--it would be hard for me to act like we were on the same footing. DH and I do all the practices, homework, doctor's visits, and discipline. We're the ones who clean up the puke and pull out the splinters. And more often than not, XH is the one who gets the beach trips and vacations.

    I can't imagine I would react very well if he tried to inject himself into my parenting. XH has never met DS's doctors, teachers, friends, coaches, anything. 

    Anyway, I don't know your situation, so I was just sharing my perspective.  

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imagefellesferie:

    I feel like I'm always arguing with you. =(

    Like you, XH and I are long distance. And truthfully, I don't see him as an equal parent. If I'm being generous, our ratio of parenting days is something like 335:30.

    Even if XH tried--which he doesn't--it would be hard for me to act like we were on the same footing. DH and I do all the practices, homework, doctor's visits, and discipline. We're the ones who clean up the puke and pull out the splinters. And more often than not, XH is the one who gets the beach trips and vacations.

    I can't imagine I would react very well if he tried to inject himself into my parenting. XH has never met DS's doctors, teachers, friends, coaches, anything. 

    Anyway, I don't know your situation, so I was just sharing my perspective.  

    I have to say that was my first thought too.  

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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