For moms of 2: OB question

nekorayne · June 2012

Did anyone take your LO to OB appointments? We are getting an ultrasound in a few weeks and the appointment is at 8AM and DH wants to go. It will be easier just to bring DS and DH thinks it would be nice to have him with us for this one. DH will be with me to watch him. It really is a bit early to take him all teh way to MIL's, she lives 30 minutes away. My old OB discouraged kids comming but I got to a hospital based midwife group now and they are very family friendly so I don't think they would mind at all. I figure we just bring his magna doodle and DH keeps an eye on him. They can both come in the exam room with me and see everything. . Honestly we are the type who bring our kids with us most place. We did not take him to appointment #1 but that was mainly because I knew it would be a long one and DH and I wanted a date day. But DH wants to go to all my appointments with me and I figure DS will be with us for a most of them. I guess since my old OB discouraged kids I worry about it but this practice is so different! So did you? How did it go? I would love to involve DS, I know he is young but I feel like this is a family thing!

celiabwatson · June 2012

I used midwives who I knew were family friendly so I wasn't worried about what they might think. My son came with me to all my appointments for my 2nd pregnancy. As often as possible my husband came too, but that was still only about half the appointments. I made sure I had my husband for the first one because it's long, and I didn't bring my son to the 6 week postpartum because I was getting an IUD in and didn't know how that would go. Otherwise I just watched him and I brought toys from the waiting room into the exam room with us. I tried toys from home once and that didn't work because there were more interesting toys in the waiting room so he just wanted to get back out there. I would just invite him to bring whatever he was playing with into the room. When my husband was there they would go out and play if needed but mostly he did well. They were also shorter appointments because it was my 2nd pregnancy.

Oh, and I even had to go in for a NST towards the end of the pregnancy and had no one to watch him. It was over Thanksgiving so they were not busy and the receptionist totally watched him for the half hour I had to be hooked up and they left the door open so I could hear what was going on.

kcisthebombdotcom · June 2012

I always did, yes. It was also a lot easier since I still had an infant during just about all the appointments though. Toddlers are a whole lot tougher.

To be the voice of dissent, I may not bring him during an U/S appointment though especially if your DH is really excited to see the baby. What if he throws a tantrum as you go into the room. He's not going to remember seeing his sibling on an u/s. Your DH will.

kate3636 · June 2012

DD #1 came to me with most appts when I was pregnant with DD#2. She didn't come for the anatomy scan but only because it was in the afternoon, 2 hours long and during nap time. That would have been awful for all parties. Both DD#1 and #2 will be coming with me tomorrow to my 6 week pp visit.

lindac1 · June 2012

My DD was a little older (DS was born when she was 4.5), but she came to all my appts. with me. My midwife had no problem with it, and even talked to DD during the appt. to make her feel included. I think it helped DD feel included in everything going in in the family that way, too. I saw many moms there w/their older children (many younger than my DD was) at their appts, too.

EnglishMajor03 · June 2012

The kids come with me to all appointments. They're in the business of delivering children- I'd hope they'd be welcome at the practice as well.

AgrippaRidesAgain · June 2012

DS came to a bunch of the appointments that were just weighing, peeing, and measuring. He even came to a few at the end when I was getting internal exams. I just gave him a lollipop and a book and sat him on a chair in the room. That was the only time he got candy, and I was totally counting on his innate fear of strangers to keep him glued to the chair. I had no problems.

I wouldn't have ever taken him to an appointment that was long though. Eventually he warms up, gets bored, and gets curious. :-)

HarrietNJMommy · June 2012

The only u/s I've brought another kid to was this last one (20w). DS was with us and that's because my babysitter couldn't watch him.

I bring my kid(s) to OB appt's, but not to u/s's.

danienross · June 2012

We're in a slightly different situation. We're expecting baby number two but out midwife does the prenatals in our home. DD is at every appointment but has also gone to the u/s with us.

That said, I had a really long recovery with DD that involved monthly doctors appointments and then five months of weekly PT. She went to every appointment with me, even the PT. I have no qualms about taking DD to my own doctor appointments.

Stacyc625 · June 2012

My #1 went to all my regular apts with me. No problems.

However with US they are discouraged and not allowed- for several reasons in my OB practice.

Personally- it was nice to spend that U/S time with just DH - especially with one u/s where it was touchy and they couldn't find the heartbeat and needed to order extra u/s tests. I was crying and didn't want #1 to see that.

Cherryblossoms07 · June 2012

DD only went to a couple (when my neighbor wasn't free to watch her) and it never went well. It was just me and DD though. If your DH is going then he can watch your LO while you are busy on the table.

On a side note - make sure that LOs are allowed in the ultrasound room. DH and DD went with me to my ultrasound but they were not able to go in because they don't allow anyone under 7 in the room so they had to wait out in the waiting room.

Arnegard · June 2012

Alex went with me to all appts w/ Taylor. With Dylan, we got a friend to watch the girls for my ultrasound, but other than that, DH stayed home with the girls while I was at my appts.

eaglesfan700 · June 2012

I didn't bring DS to any appointments, just for my own convenience. If I had to, I could have though

nekorayne · June 2012

Thanks everyone! I think I will call the office and make sure he will be allowed in the ultrasound room because I know DH really wants to be with me for that. I doubt it will be an issue because the receptionist heard me say that we will have to bring our son to that appointment when we scheduled it and she just smiled and said great. If so he can come to this one and we will play it by ear for the others. I know I probably will take him to MIL's for the glucose test for example. MIL has an at home daycare so he loves playing with all the kids and so we will take him to her for some of the appointments so DH and I can have a date day or lunch alone after. But I'm sure some we will bring him. I am a bit worried that if something went wrong (like the story pp said about not finding the heart beat) and DS being with us. But honestly my dream would be to give birth at home with a midwifeand DS actully there (my friend did this and it was amazing) and I can't because of my odd c-section uterus scar so it does mean something to me that he is at least a part of this in some way. And we can always see how this time goes and play it by ear for now on.

Thanks!

steelermama86 · June 2012

DD has been to most of my appointments. The only time she was able to stay home is if my mom was in town and I think that was only for 1. I just brought some snack, books, sippy cup, etc.

Temp6313048411121614 · June 2012

DS1 went with us to many of them. My OB/GYN actually has a train table in the waiting room. We took him in the room with us.

Andrewsgal · June 2012

amy052006:
eaglesfan700:
I didn't bring DS to any appointments, just for my own convenience. If I had to, I could have though
This. I almost did once when I was stuck, but generally try to avoid this. Besides waits having the potential to be a nightmare, I just don't buy that because they see pregnant women, they love kids all over the place. Hell, my OB doesn't even hve kids!
Generally we are NOT I bring my kids everywhere types, especially something like an ultrasound. I rather my tech no be distracted by my kid, to be honest.

This. I went weekly my whole pregnancy and was usually by myself. I don't believe kids need to be everywhere and included in everything.

Mom2Mack1 · June 2012

We took DD to the first u/s, and I've taken her to one appt by myself. She did not do very well. DH was there but she still freaked with the dr & nurse doing things to me. She calmed down a little bit as the appt went but it did not go very well. The same thing happened when I took her to my routine baby appt. Thankfully she was in a stroller that time, and the dr just kept talking like she wasn't even crying.

roxy_jj · June 2012

I was working when I was pregnant with #2, so DD was at daycare for most of my appointments. She came with me for one appointment only because my OB really wanted to see her. I found that the appointments were more relaxed when DD wasn't there. I could ask any questions without being interrupted and didn't have to worry about her trying to get into anything.

lenorelost · June 2012

When I was pg with DS2, I only took DS1 to one appointment and that was the 18 wk ultrasound. DH went too and we thought it would be fun for DS1 (16 mos at the time) to see it. We were wrong! Totally unexpected as he was never a big momma's boy, DS1 flipped out when the tech touched me. DH eventually calmed him down and things went better, but now I see why some offices have rules about that!

Lovemyflightmedic18 · June 2012

DD1came to every appt with DD2. The nurses and my OB always included her somehow. We generally never waited more than 20 minutes. Now that I am pg with #3, both my girls have and will continue to come to my apps. My husband comes to all my appt and they do very well. My OB and his staff interact and do very well with the kids there. I think it helps kids be involved in the pregnancy. Good luck.

hokies94 · June 2012

While I"m all for taking the kids to appointments, I'm not sure I would for an ultrasound.

Not to be a downer or anything, but what if there's something wrong on the ultrasound?

I was having a perfectly normal pg and we were planning on bringing our older kids to ultrasound #3 but ended up not taking them. We ended up with abnormal results and having an amnio due to what she saw on the ultrasound. Luckily everything turned out ok but I wouldn't have wanted my older kids there. DH would have had to leave the room with them and I would have had to have the amnio by myself. No way would I want them in there for that.

nekorayne · June 2012

scorpio72:
While I"m all for taking the kids to appointments, I'm not sure I would for an ultrasound.
Not to be a downer or anything, but what if there's something wrong on the ultrasound?
I was having a perfectly normal pg and we were planning on bringing our older kids to ultrasound #3 but ended up not taking them. We ended up with abnormal results and having an amnio due to what she saw on the ultrasound. Luckily everything turned out ok but I wouldn't have wanted my older kids there. DH would have had to leave the room with them and I would have had to have the amnio by myself. No way would I want them in there for that.

That is kind of what am worried about to be perfectly honest. This practice seems to encourage family involvement and this next appointment it would be very out of the way to take DS to MIL so early. But I do wonder about something being wrong. We are still so early in and you just don't know. If something was wrong i know I would want DH to be with me and I would not want DS to see me like that. Honestly I'm not worried about how DS will act, he is a chill kid...but I am worried about if something went wrong.

rvandiver0705 · June 2012

I am going to bring the thread way down, but I would never bring DD to any future OB appointments. It was at my anatomy scan that we found out that my son had died, and there is no way I would want her anywhere near that situation if it happened again.

Also, I have Crohn's, and I took her to an appointment with my GE a few months ago. It was AWFUL, and she is normally the happiest, friendliest baby. She screamed half the time, and I forgot half my questions because she kept interrupting us. I could tell my doctor wanted to throttle me, and I completely understood why. In the future, I will only bring her to a doctor's appointment if it is an emergency, or if it is her appointment.

MrsBalletStar05 · June 2012

I took DS#1 to all my appointments for DS#2, minus the ultrasound - but I also didn't have DH with me to help watch him either. I just sent him to daycare early that day. Other than that, yup - every appointment. He even got used to handing me my pee cup and the marker in the bathroom every time o.O

Sawyerplus1 · June 2012

I think if your care provider wont mind, you usually bring LO with you places anyway, and you WANT to bring him, then why not?

I will say though that DH and I thought it would be nice to bring DS to my u/s (20w) with DD, and it ended up being more a pain in the butt than anything. DH had to watch him during most of it, DS got tired and bored, and ultimately had no idea what he was looking at and didn't care. It was distracting for DH.

superherostocker · June 2012

rmontagne@gmail.com:
DD has been to all of my appts with us including all ultrasounds. DH wants to be at the appts, and we don't have family to watch her, so we bring her. We pack a few books and toys. So far she has done great!

same here. we just wanted to include ds so he could see what was going on and hopefully understand that we would be bringing home a new baby soon.

MrsBalletStar05 · June 2012

While I did not ever ENJOY bringing my LO to my appointments, I really had no choice. Unless I hired a babysitter every month that was so not in the budget at that time. We have no family here and DH can't take that much time off of work. It was fine. Sometimes he was a handful but it was never anything uncontrollable, and he's a pretty hyped up kid.

kas80 · June 2012

I can't imagine a dr discouraging kids from coming. Some people have no other options then 1) not go or 2) bring older child. That's the boat I am in so she comes along for all my appts.

stdldb29 · June 2012

DS went to every appointment, he even went with me every time I had to go to Labor and Delivery in the middle of the night to have labor stopped, he also went to the monitoring I had done 4x a week the last 5 weeks.

He was 22 months when DD was born.

ryry1977 · June 2012

Mine didn't mind kids at all and Itook hoim sometimes

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