Opinions on when to tell

Phendershot13 · June 2012

I will be eight weeks this Thursday and have my first doctors appointment this Wednesday. I am back and forth about when to tell others. I really want to tell my dad because this will be his first grandchild! (I have already told my mom, so she can watch over me from above.) Opinions? Thanks

adventureolive · June 2012

I told my close family at 8 weeks. I live with my parents, my sister, and her daughter, so it would be unfair of my to hide it from them, and even more unfair if I told them but not my brother. I know Milo let his father know at around 9 weeks. I went public to friends, family, and work just last week, at 11 weeks, nearly 12 weeks.

brittandjp · June 2012

This is completely a personal decision. We only told those we'd be okay with "untelling" if the situation arose. We told our immediate family and two best friends right away. We told additional family/friends after we saw the h/b and we'll go more public with it after 1st tri.

babydollaudie · June 2012

I told close family and friends right away. I felt like if something were to go wrong, I would probably tell them anyway. And also, the extra prayers are appreciated.

) I will tell everyone else once I'm 12 weeks.

YorkieLove4 · June 2012

I told close family and friends right away, before the doctor visit because it's such an exciting time! Like the others said, I only told those I was close enough to that I would tell if the unfortunate were to happen. However, be warned that you risk the info slipping to others! It's already started for me (MIL telling her close friends). Close family and friends get very excited about the news and want to blurt it to the world. I know, I had a very hard time keeping my sister's pregnancy a secret:)

sesigs · June 2012

We told our parents and siblings within a few days of the BFP. This is the first grandchild so my mom is really excited and has had trouble not blurting it to everyone so at this point all of my family knows but I didn't mind her telling because we are all really close. We plan to go completely public with it after our NT scan at 12 weeks!

happilyeverafterxo · June 2012

We told our close family members at 5 weeks, after going through Beta Hell. We informed them that we were cautiously optimistic because our numbers weren't looking that great, and they were so understanding about it.

Once things started to look up (YAY! So thankful for!) we waited until almost 12 weeks to come out with our news

Wild_flower25 · June 2012

I wanted to wait, but DH told his parents with in the first week. My parents and our close friends were a couple weeks later.

I suppose they are people I would want to know if something happened but I don't want any extra attention, so I don't want the world to know until 12/13 weeks.

We hear the heartbeat at my next appt at 12 weeks, so after that I will feel more confident telling everyone else.

jlkrebs · June 2012

I am having the same dilemma. I really want to tell my in-laws b/c it will be the first grand-baby on that side... but my parents already have 6! I'd feel bad telling one side of the family and not the other... but I also don't want the whole world to know until 12 weeks and I know either family would not be able to keep it on the down low... Might tell at 8 weeks and after first Dr. appt.

In the mean time I told my good friend and co-worker so I can text her for moral support!

I agree with those who say, "don't tell anyone you don't want to have to un-tell" Going through a loss is very hard but having so many other people ask you about it is even worse, especially those who might have heard and innocently ask how your pregnancy is when you in fact miscarried - - or so I hear...

I am still wondering when our time will be for the big announcement... I might burst!

ILoveRedVino · June 2012

I told family and friends - through email - after my first ultrasound at 11w5d. I'm not making a big FB announcement or anything, so while it isn't a secret, it isn't out in the open either.

cbrotz2010 · June 2012

We told DH's parents around 5 weeks (it's their first grandchild, and I'm sure hub and I would have needed the support if something didn't go right). My siblings knew almost as soon as we got a positive result. We (read: In-laws with our permission) told close, immediate family at 8 weeks after we saw the heartbeat and doctor said everything looked great. Everyone else and Facebook we announced at 12 weeks after hearing a strong heartbeat...

alkvoelker · June 2012

We told our parents when we found out, almost 5 weeks. We told the rest of our family and made it Facebook official on Father's Day, almost 7 weeks. We just decided that if we were going to be blessed with a child, we want to celebrate it with all of our friends and family. The child can be taken away at any point in pregnancy and even after birth. I've had friends that have miscarried far into their pregnancies and friends that have lost children after birth. We don't want to live in fear, we want to enjoy and celebrate our child. I thoroughly understand why so many people wait though.

BuckeyeBabymaker · June 2012

With the first one we waited until about 8 weeks. This one we will be telling after my first doctor's appointment tomorrow.

mhubbar5 · June 2012

brittandjp:
This is completely a personal decision. We only told those we'd be okay with "untelling" if the situation arose.

This. If it would be uncomfortable talking about a mc with them, then I for sure wouldn't tell thim until your closer to second tri. It sucks having to talk about something so personal, to someone your not that close with. I got outed about my pregnancy at work 2-3 days before our ultrasound where we discovered our missed mc and it sucked having to tell certain people that I was not that close with about something I felt was pretty personal. But like PP, its a completely personal decision that is different for everyone.

Kingston54 · June 2012

Whenever you feel ready. We told immediate family at 5 weeks, close friends at 8 and everyone else gradually is finding out.

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