Speaking of Kid's Sleep Habits

Venus04d · June 2012

Do you think parents that allow their children to sleep at times suited more to their schedule but not the societal norm is irresponsible? Or does it make sense?

For example, a couple we know both work in a bar, so they tend to work a lot of late nights. Their 5 month old tends to go down to bed for the night around 1 am and sleeps until noon. They don't want her going to bed too early and then waking for the day early in the morning. The mom is constantly complaining about her sleep being all messed up. Do you think this is why?

I once read some science that said there are certain times hard wired into the brain of young children in which they are more likely to fall asleep peacefully. I don't know if it was true, but I know there was no time later than 9:30pm on the list.

shouldbworkin · June 2012

I think you have to follow your kids cues in most things. Late nights should be a once in awhile sort of thing. I don't think it's too bad to bend a little with later bedtimes and wake times, but 1 am seems really late to me. And, if a child is showing signs that it's not working for them, then I do think you owe it to them to change things.

quidditchcapn1120 · June 2012

I think you do have to kind of experiment to see what works for your family. Our BFF's keep their 2 yo up till 10 or so since dad works nights and gets home around 3. He is the caretaker for their LO during the day so it helps him get some sleep. I think keeping a kid up till 1 am is kind of irresponsible though. There's definitely a circadian rhythm disturbance with that kind of sleep training.

grr_aargh · June 2012

It's hard for me, because I think 2nd and 3rd shifts are a reality for a lot of people and I hate to judge them as a parent based solely on that, but I also think that sleep habits are essential and good lifetime habits and setting them in that way so early seems. . . I don't know. Objectionable?

HElizabethDU · June 2012

Considering DD's sleep schedule revolves around darkness, I would say that would mess with a sleep cycle, but I guess if their room is a dark cave it might not matter.

In the winter DD sleeps from 7-7:30pm to 7am, and in the summer 8-8:30pm-6:30am.

Hesterlicious · June 2012

HElizabethDU:
Considering DD's sleep schedule revolves around darkness, I would say that would mess with a sleep cycle, but I guess if their room is a dark cave it might not matter.

In the winter DD sleeps from 7-7:30pm to 7am, and in the summer 8-8:30pm-6:30am.

Be glad you don't live here! It is light past 10 and the sun is up by 4! ds has been getting up earlier and earlier so I am glad the days are getting longer.

To answer the OP If I were to get the night job I want we might try to adjust his sleep slightly so I could get an extra hour or 2 in the morning but I also realize he is a child. and natures cycles affect his sleep too. I'd still let him be up at 9 am or so. We did let him figure out his own sleep schedule and I wouldn't want to mess with it too much since it works.

Venus04d · June 2012

I feel the same way as most of you. A lot of people don't have the option for a "normal" 8-5, so they fluctuate their kids' schedules as well. I don't want to judge because I know how important it feels to me to have time with my DD and to get some shut eye.

However, I think in cases like keeping a 5 month old until 1 am just so she will let you sleep in, it's irresponsible and little selfish. She complains about her sleep schedule because her DD is cranky all day, refuses to nap, will fall asleep in her high chair when she's being fed "dinner" at 10 or 11 pm. No matter how kindly I've tried to suggest that nature just doesn't always agree with that schedule for babies that young, she insists that a baby will sleep in whatever schedule the parents enforce and that it doesn't matter what time of day that may be.

Venus04d · June 2012

justAphase:
We did that with my daughter. Not at 5 months though. She was more like 8 months when we started to make her bed time later. My SO works nights so it gave us the opportunity to sleep in. She actually did really well with it until we moved. For some reason she wouldn't sleep past 9:30 no matter what time she went to bed (she would sleep in til 11 or so before).
So now we've moved her bedtime back up to 10:15-10:30 so that she can get at least 10-11 hours before whatever alarm clock goes off in her brain. And that's obviously still really late compared to most. It works for us though. She didn't sleep any better at 7 months when her bedtime was 7:45pm.

I think if your kid responds and gets good rest than go with it!

RayRay007 · June 2012

I think it is selfish and setting up the kid for bad sleep habits later in life when it matters - like when they start school and can't keep their eyes open at 8am. I understand that some people work shift work and want to be able to see their kids, but I think it is screwing the kid up.

WildcatPrincess · June 2012

DD was born a night owl and went to bed at 11 at that age, but we didn't do it on purpose, just followed her cues. I didn't complain about sleeping until 10 AM. As she got older it naturally moved earlier, but she still goes to bed at 8, which some people would say is too late.

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