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May 2012 Moms
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If someone was feeding your baby....

Heather2256Heather2256
in May 2012 Moms

and paying absolutely no attention to her or him, how would you react?

MIL had asked to feed LO the other day. So I gave her the baby & the bottle. DH went outside so it was just the three of us. She's feeding her & paying no attention to her. Just looking around, spacing out & then she started talking to me. I finally asked, "Has she got to 2 ounces?" (this is when we burp her) She was just like, "Oh, she's probably ate more than that. I'm too busy talking." MIL checks the bottle & she's ate 2 & a 1/2 ounces. So she barely burps her. DH walks in & MIL gives the baby to him & leaves the room. 

It's just like - what the heck? First, when I'm feeding her, I pay attention to how she's eating (if she's eating), if she's spitting any out, etc. Second, if you wanted to spend that kind of time with your granddaughter (which I think the time spent feeding a baby is important), why would you just up & leave half way through?

It just really bothered me. 

<a href="http://s1076.photobucket.com/albums/w446/Heather2256/Leslie 1 Month Old/?action=view
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Re: If someone was feeding your baby....

  • Jess & DrewJess & Drew member
    I can understand how it may have bothered you, but honestly for me, this would fall under "don't sweat the small stuff".
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  • starrynight1658starrynight1658 member

    imageJess & Drew:
    I can understand how it may have bothered you, but honestly for me, this would fall under "don't sweat the small stuff".

    This for me too. 

    "Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight."
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  • BunBun1BunBun1
    As a new FTM, I can understand.  I hope you don't mind my outsiders perspective, but perhaps she sensed you were uncomfortable (i.e. a concerned new mom) with how she was feeding your LO and decided to leave once you DH came back.  You obviously know your MIL more than I do, but I just wanted to offer a different perspective to consider.  From personal experience, I know grandmas like feeling included, so maybe you could let her know before she starts how you feed her?  Maybe she didn't pay attention to the exact ounces because she was enjoying having her grandchild in her arms :)    
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  • elviebirdelviebird member

    imageJess & Drew:
    I can understand how it may have bothered you, but honestly for me, this would fall under "don't sweat the small stuff".

    Yes 

    Due 12/20/11 ~ Lost our Muskrat at 9w2d
    4/25/12 ~ Our angel, Persephone James, is here!

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  • pithikakipithikaki member

    I understand where you're coming from exactly.  My dad is like this and while I understand what others are saying, I totally get where you're coming from too.  IMO It's not necessarily that it's a huge deal that a bottle is held a certain way, or that you need them to stare at your LO every second and catch every little dribble, it's that they ask and then do a careless job. 

    Taking care of my LO is obviously going to seem like the most wonderful thing to me, since I'm the mom, but if you're not going to put your heart into it then why even ask!

    To answer your question, both me and DH are tactful (...at first), but if my dad continues the lack of interest/careless behavior with her, we tell him time is up and to give her back or hand her to my mom.  We're really open about it - this is how things are done with our child and if you aren't respectful enough to do things the way we feel is right, then you don't get to do it. No hard feelings, but we're her parents, and we know what's best for her. Everyone else who's fed/changed/taken care of her has asked us how we do whatever it is so they can do it our way.  It's rude IMO not to follow the parents "way", whoever you are, whoever it is.

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  • Heather2256Heather2256
    I know it's not a big deal. But since we'd been considering letting her watch the baby when I go back to work, it's a little disturbing that she wasn't paying attention. 
    <a href="http://s1076.photobucket.com/albums/w446/Heather2256/Leslie 1 Month Old/?action=view
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  • bellelambbellelamb member
    I'm sorry to say its only because your a ftm that you notice once you've raised a kid or two you feed lo eat yourself and feed the rest of your kids at once.  I wouldn't neccasrliy notice if there was a dribble to wipe or how many oz were gone.  And believe it or not I have three happy and healthy kids.  I wouldn't worry about it.
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  • easjer05easjer05 member
    Meh, it wouldn't bother me.  Hell, DH and I feed her differently and my mom (who will be our caregiver) has a third style.  We also all diaper a bit differently, and burp differently.  So long as she is fed, changed and burped, I don't sweat it.  Unless there is something overtly dangerous or which I know from experience won't end well, I don't give instructions or orders.  Most of our family know how to handle babies.

    Gabriel Ross - August 24, 2009 * Vivienne Rose - May 1, 2012

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