Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Epidural "hospital procedure for VBAC"?
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
That is ridiculous. I know that lots of times they try to talk you into the epidural because "if you need an emergency c/s then we won't have to knock you out". However, in a true emergency, they will still put you under general anesthesia. They aren't going to take the time to adjust the epi, test/poke you to make sure you can't feel anything, etc. I only know of one person who has had a true emergency c/s, and she was put under general despite already having an epi.
Sounds like your doctor is trying to micromanage you. I would ask for this requirement in writing along with the reasoning behind it. You can always decline it.
Are there any statistics that an epidural leads to csection more? I have been curious about this myself.
It sounds like your OB is just prepping you for a csection by giving you the epidural.
There is somewhere. That is why many doctors try to get women to hold out to 4-5 cm at least before administering an epi. Before that, labor isn't really moving and an epi can space out contractions or make them not as effective in early labor (stalling labor, and off to the c/s!)
Also, epis can lower blood pressure to the point that they do a c/s for the safety of the mother and some babies don't handle them well. In my case, I was so exhausted I just needed sleep and I was sort of stuck at 5 cm. An hour after I got the epi, I was ready to push. My midwife said I was probably so exhausted that I just needed to relax more so the contractions moved along. So it worked in my favor in my case.
Thanks! I got my epi with DD at 5cm but still wonder if that affected my labor. In the end my DD got her arm stuck in the birth canal so who knows, but if I can improve my VBAC odds I will do whatever but am afraid to go natural!
You always have the right to informed refusal of any procedure.
And once you're in labor the hospital can't do anything because by law they can't refuse you care for any reason.
As for being afraid of natural birth, there is no reason you can't get an epidural later in labor (after you reach 5 cms, which most studies show that the slowing of labor issue is less likely to occur) IF that's what YOU want.
There are pros and cons to an epidural during a VBAC that you need to consider and decide what's best for you. But the "just in case" reason is BS because as others have said if a true emergency they won't have time to adjust it (unless they intend to have it at surgical strength the whole time which would make effective pushing near impossible so here comes a c/s) and if it's not a true emergency they have time to place one.
If you decide to go natural I highly recommend Hypnobabies, I haven't used it yet but a lot of the moms on my other VBAC board have and loved their births with it.
They also have a VBAC cd that I have (got it from someone on the other board because it was a great deal) and I previewed it and it's wonderful. They also have a change of plan script for if things change and you need a c-section to help you be more relaxed and calm during it if you are awake.
Here's the amazon link!
https://www.amazon.com/Hypnobabies-Childbirth-Hypnosis-VBAC-SUCCESS/dp/B004GYECBE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339794069&sr=8-1&keywords=vbac+success+cd
My hospital requires an IV, but I don't think an epi is required. My ob did tell me that they need to get a bag of fluids into you before the epi so a (likely) dehydrated laboring mom's blood pressure doesn't drop.
Chk to see if you can just get the cath in and no epi, so they can be prepared for an emergency c/s if needed. Hopefully all will go perfect and you won't have to worry about that!
ak 99% of the time in an emergency they won't use an epi because it takes too long to up it to surgical strength, there is no reason to have an epi catheter placed "just in case because it's useless in a emergency.
In a true emergency like rupture they will use GA because they don't have time for an epi, in a non-emergency the have time to place an epi.