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Parenting
isacdimi10
member
Vent about friends death
isacdimi10
member
in Parenting
I know I mentioned before that one of my friends died on the 18th.
The article the paper wrote on his death had really "technical" in depth description of his death. Things like
"About 160 feet after hitting the metal sign, [friend] was thrown from the bike when it hit a rock, Trooper said. [friend] flew about 25 feet and hit a tree while the motorcycle hit a tree about eight feet off the ground, 33 feet past the rock and continued 56 feet through trees and brush before coming to a stop"
I went by his accident site today. And because I had all those stupid measurements in my head I played out how he crashed. Its pretty horrific to imagine.
Also his parents live in another state and haven't been able to come up and claim his body yet. No obituary has been written no service or memorial scheduled. I can't imagine the pain of not being able to get here immediately. At the same time a lot of us want to be able to say goodbye and I think we're afraid that we might never be able to have a service for him.
BFP #1 10/28/09 EDD 06/24/10- Miscarriage 11/2/09
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Vent about friends death
No words can make this situation better for you or anyone, i can't imagine how you're feeling... I understand why you went to the site, when things like this happen, it's hard to wrap your head around, so you try to dissect everything that happened to have it make sense in your mind and make it "real" for you.
Try your best not to focus on that part, instead, remember all the things you loved about your friend. Nobody wants to be remembered this way... I know that's hard to do.
If, for some reason, you're not able to have his service, why don't you and your friends have your own memorial for him? You can all bring pictures and tell stories, laugh, cry, and celebrate his life. His spirit will be wherever you are, it doesn't necessarily have to be at a formal service.
Just take it a day at a time, try to focus on the positive... You'll feel better soon, you'll get through it!
ETA: And if you need to cry, let it out! I still have moments of weakness, even 4 years after my Dad passed. Don't try to suppress your feelings, talk about them.. It helps you heal.
I am sorry for your loss.
My bestie rolled her truck the night after DS was born. I never read the news articles but when the stories of the accident started coming around it definitely made it harder. I wanted to know the details but konwing does almost seem worse.It took a while to get her parents down here from halfway across the country and it was almost a month before they had a small memorial for her at a community hall.
I have yet to go to the accident site and there is no grave here since she was cremated and taken back with her family. That part is worse then waiting for the service. Her cousin had a star named after her so all I have is the sky.
((Hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss, I am so sorry you had to read that, and I am so sorry that you haven't been able to honor him with a service yet. Losing a friend is so incredibly painful. Again, all I can say is how very sorry I am.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend! Wow, all that information is just gratuitous! It sounds like the writer of the article got their hands on the accident report and quoted right from it. Definitely insensitive, and completely unnecessary. They could have taken 80% of that information out and still made their point.
I hope his family complains loudly to the media outlet that published this article.
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I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. *hugs* As the PP's said, at least have a memorial get together with friends. I think some type of memorial is needed and it's best not to put it off. It will help to get together with friends and remember the good times. Whenever those grim details appear in your head, fight back with good memories of him. Always remember he would want you to remember the good.
My Grandpa passed on Christmas of 2004. I fill my mind with good memories of him. How strong he was, how he smiled at everyone and was so friendly with everyone and memories of spending time with him as a child.
Definitely. Nobody needs those details. I'd complain to the editor.
That is just plain awful, and terrible reporting. I have never read a detailed account of an accident like that, ever, and there's a reason for that. It's incredibly disrespectful to the victim(s) of the accident. I agree with the posters who said to email the paper.
Why has there not been an obit written? Because the parents are traveling? It doesn't have to be the parents who write it. Can you write one? I can help if you want. I obviously did not know your friend, but I can help with the writing part. PM me if you're interested. It might actually help with the grieving process.