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Parenting
ifwisheswerefishes
member
am i going to be an overprotective mom?
ifwisheswerefishes
member
in Parenting
(also posted this in Sept. 2012)
we had my niece's 2nd birthday party last night. honestly, it was a super cute, super simple party with her not wanting to blow out her candles because they were too pretty. =p
but there were a couple other things that i noticed that made me really angry...and then i wondered if i was over-reacting and i was going to be one of "those moms" who hovers that little bit too much over their child.
-- my niece was standing up on one of the long benches that had been set up for people to sit on at the table, and she was scooching back on her little socked feet on the slippery surface. her parents were right there, and she almost fell onto the tile floor about six times, and her mom did nothing to try to stop her or tell her to sit down.
-- she then proceeded to get into the game of Chinese Checkers that someone had left on the floor, and started picking up the little glass marbles and putting them into her mouth and then spitting them out onto the floor. i was nearly in a state of panic; her dad, sitting right next to her, again did nothing. it was actually my BIL (another uncle, not her dad) who took the marbles out of her hand and put them out of reach
this bugged me a lot . would this have bugged anyone else, or am i being over-protective?
Marian Abigail :: born 9-16-2012 via emergency C/S
BFP on 11-14-2014, aiming for a VBAC
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Re: am i going to be an overprotective mom?
To be fair, it depends on the kid. And the kind of parent.
Is it overprotective to stop those things from happening? I don't think so. Do I see how parents might eventually stop freaking out about that stuff? You bet.
My kids are very, very, very, very much learn-by-doing kids. I could say 10,000 times not to slide on socks on the bench but they kind of need to fall to get the picture. So I don't say much unless what they're doing is very very very dangerous.
As for the marbles, my youngest is an everything-in-the-mouth-swallow-nothing kind of kid. While I would do my best to keep the marbles out of her mouth or take them away if they were in her mouth, I can see how somebody distracted at a party might miss it. Maybe.
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Standing on a bench is pretty impossible to put an end too. I won't let DS stand at the dinner table but there are so many benches, couches, chairs etc. You can't get them to not stand. Even if you do try, they stand up on the couch to give you a kiss and you forget all about the no standing on furniture thing.
The marbles thing bugs me too. I wouldn't ever let DS put marbles in his mouth. That could choke an adult!
I'll be honest, both make me nervous.
On the bench, i would picture her slipping off and busting her nose/biting her tongue/knocking a tooth out. And besides that, it's not really appropriate to stand on furniture. I'll allow the occasional jumping on the bed with my DD, but with a hard tile surface below, and on a piece of furniture made to sit on, probably not.
I always picture "worst-case scenario" incidents... This doesn't mean i keep my kid in a bubble, she has bruises and cuts all over her. But if she happened to bust her head when i was right beside her and able to stop her, than that wouldn't reflect too well on me.
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2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
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The marbles would be an issue. Even if I weren't worried about swallowing/choking, I wouldn't want someone annoyed at having slobbery marbles.
But I have given up on hovering over Mac policing his every move. He climbs and falls and sometimes he gets hurt and upset; other times he doesn't. I know that if he falls from chair-height onto tile, he'll be okay.
If your kid is anything like mine, though, you'll see that eventually, your back hurts from hovering, you feel ridiculous, and it's just not worth it. Every time you chase them from one hazard, they find something worse. I just try to avoid death and/or the ICU.
I'm REALLY relaxed about stuff, especially as my son gets older stuff that used to get me all in a dither just doesn't phase me.
The bench thing would have been, meh. Buddy sits on the counter with me while I make breakfast, he fell off once when I turned to grab the eggs and well, now he doesn't try to get down himself. Yes it hurt and yes it freaked me out at the time but now he sits perfect when I have to walk away from the counter. Gotta let them live and learn.
The marbles I would have been more upset and taken them away from my kid. Choking is not something we mess around with in our house. No matter how lax I am with other stuff.