wow, what a relief (long)

chouli77 · June 2012

Its been 2 weeks since Archer arrived. I've been EBF since then and it hasn't been easy. He latches well and I have what I thought and the pediatrician assured me was "adequate" milk, but he'll eat for an hour and still be unsatisfied when I am empty. Add to that, he didn't make good enough weight gains between his day 3 appt and one week later. I've been waking him up every 2 hrs to eat still because the L&D nurses put the fear in me (and I was never told to do otherwise). The pediatrician talked to us about supplementing with one bottle of formula a day, and I spent days agonizing and beating myself up about that.

Today my mom said I should consider not waking him to feed him every two hours and only when he wants it. She said I am wearing myself and MH out, and not letting LO get good sleep. I freaked out b/c I can't possibly feed him less while he's not making weight gains.

So this evening, when I spent another hour getting totally drained by my baby and he still was hungry and unhappy, gnawing on his wrist, I broke down. I made up a 2oz formula bottle and had DH give it to him. LO drank down 1 oz and was happily satisfied. It was like a light dawned on me. If I make 2oz of milk, clearly LO needs 3 oz. I'm giving him all I've got - so I shouldn't beat myself up about it. Supplementing doesn't make me a bad mom, it makes him a happy LO. Meanwhile, I'll keep dry-pumping after feeds to build up my supply, and I'll keep nursing him as long as he wants per session.

chouli77 · June 2012

j.d.gal:

You are doing an amazing job! I hope your supply catches up to your LO.

I had inadequate supply with DS and he lost a lot of weight before I was told to start supplementing. It was terrifying and heartbreaking.

If you are not already, I'd recommend working with a lactation consultant to see if there is anything you can do in addition to pumping and feeding on demand. You may benefit from doing weighed feeds to see what he is getting per session.

Thanks! I am taking fenugreek supplements. The hospital's lactation support has a Mommy's Luncheon every Tuesday where they do weighted feeds. I intend to go next week. My LO was 9lbs 8oz when he was born and dropped down to 8lbs 10oz by the time we went home. In the next week he was only up 1oz. I feel so bad for him, like I've been starving him. But I feel so content with the decision to stop being a control-freak trying to be a perfect mom, and just give him what he needs.

KrazyKat35 · June 2012

I was lurking from the July board. You are absoultly right you are not a bad mom for supplimenting. I was in your shoes with DS1 and it was hard my milk came in the day after i had him and it just decreased after a couple of weeks i would nurse until i was empty and then have to make a small formula bottle for him so that he would be full. I too had problems getting him to gain and it actually put him back in the hospital over New Years. (Not saying that is goin to happen to you) just saying that you have to do what you have to do. You are doing an amazing job and i too think that you should seek additional help if you arent already. I used a consultant with DS1, and i tell you what she has been there for every milestone through this pregnancy and through my first ones. She was there for his first birthday and everything. You can really form a lasting bond with some and they will be there for you through each one. Keep up the good work mama. It does get easier.

Congrats

ameliadaisy · June 2012

I had to do this with my first as well. I definitely beat myself up about it, but in the end it was for the best. We supplemented for about 2 weeks and then I was able to nurse him for an entire year.

You are doing great!

notfrancie · June 2012

I had a very similar experience-- we almost had to take LO to the ER because of dehydration. It was on day 3 right before my real milk came in. We called in to the doctor on call when we realized she had not been dirtying her diaper enough. The freaky thing is that dehydration does not have super obvious signs (besides the lack of diapers) and none of the nurses had warned us about it. DH sprinted out to buy formula and we spent the next 2 days force feeding her. It was miserable and made me feel AWFUL, like I had some how failed my child.

The best money I ever spent was hiring a lactation consultant to come to our apartment. She gave me great tips, weighed the baby, and helped me figure out the best way to supplement through pumping. This is a hard core BF advocate and she said, "You are doing the best you can. You have got to stop beating yourself up. This is only temporary until we figure out a better solution. Your baby is going to be fine!"

It helped a lot hearing this from an outsider. Now during week 2, I am back to full time BF. But, now I am on red alert and stalking LO's diapers like a crazy woman. SO SCARY!

So Chouli--- you are doing the best you can! Stop beating yourself up

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