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bloverde · June 2012

DS is one month, and I go back to work in 9 days. I'm panicking because I work 28 hour shifts. He won't sleep anywhere but ON me. This wasn't a problem while I'm on leave and can just sit on the couch all day. He nurses to sleep, and as soon as I move to put him down he wakes up. The only other times he'll sleep are in a Moby on me or sometimes in the car. But he wakes when you try to transfer him. DH feels useless. NOTHING works to soothe him to sleep. We've tried swaddling, rocking, bouncing, shushing, swaying, a million positions, walking, vibration seat, bouncy seat, swing, crib, pacifier, sucking on a finger, setting him on the drier, warming his sheets with a heating pad, gas drops, gripe water, the shirt i wore all day in his crib.As soon as I put him down, he's awake! Most nights he ends up in bed with us just so we all can sleep, but I don't like this habit. Even then, he's only calm because he falls asleep nursing and then I don't have to move him. Sometimes even in bed, he'll wake up if I move my body from touching his! I don't know what else to do. DH is going to have to be able to take care of him for over 24 hours by himself in a week! He tries to soothe him, but after 20 minutes of screaming, I nurse him to calm him down. When DH gives a bottle, he still won't sleep and i have to comfort nurse. He's way too young for CIO. I've asked my family for advice, and they don't live here and have never seen him do this, so they tell me to relax, we still have time. Or they suggest things we're already doing. Please, someone help. I am BESIDE myself with worry about him screaming of hours on end.

faydre · June 2012

Have you tried putting him down slightly awake?

What about dark and quiet instead of all the stimulus? Putting him down in a swing that isn't moving (just for the angle?)

Im not a CIO fan, but sometimes DD just needs to fuss for a few seconds then she goes back to quiet, I don't pick her up immediately, but I'm not waiting for minutes either kwim?

Do you swaddle? Dd hates it, but lots of people rave about it.

does he take a pacifier? If not, when you know he's just comfort nursing can you try something else to soothe instead of just keeping him attached to the boob all night?

Dd also often wakes a bit when I put her down, I try to keep one hand on her for a few seconds..sometimes that calms her.

Bedtime routines? Baths? Massage?

Im just throwing out ideas, m sure you've tried many of them. I hope you find some relief soon.

bloverde · June 2012

My step mom is going to come out for a few days when I start back to work. I am not hopeful that he will do much better with a stranger to him, considering DH has been trying to soothe him for the past month with little progress. But, hey, you never know.

faydre:
Have you tried putting him down slightly awake?
- Yes, he cries after about 30 seconds.
What about dark and quiet instead of all the stimulus? Putting him down in a swing that isn't moving (just for the angle?)
- His room has shades and curtains. We've tried there. We've also tried the swing, the bouncy and the vibration chair without turning them on.
Im not a CIO fan, but sometimes DD just needs to fuss for a few seconds then she goes back to quiet, I don't pick her up immediately, but I'm not waiting for minutes either kwim?
- I've waited up to about 3 minutes, but that just makes him more angry and harder to calm down.
Do you swaddle? Dd hates it, but lots of people rave about it.
- He seems to like it while he's eating, but it doesn't make a difference when I go to put him down.
does he take a pacifier? If not, when you know he's just comfort nursing can you try something else to soothe instead of just keeping him attached to the boob all night?
- Refuses the paci. I have 5 different brands and shapes. When he's just comfort nursing I try to unlatch and do other things, like rocking chair or swaying. But he just wakes right up.
Dd also often wakes a bit when I put her down, I try to keep one hand on her for a few seconds..sometimes that calms her.
- This I haven't tried. I'll give it a go.
Bedtime routines? Baths? Massage?
- We take a bath around 7:30, which he loves. Stays calm the entire time until I take him out. Then we do lotion and massage. He still roots after that and won't be soothed unless I nurse.

Thanks for the new ideas. I just really am at a loss here and getting to the end of my sanity. I have 7 siblings; I KNOW what to do with babies. He is by far the most needy baby I have ever personally spent time with. All three of us are frustrated, and I'm already getting working mommy guilt before being back at work.

LollyBug18 · June 2012

Lurking here but I just wanted to encourage you to try to reduce your stress level some. Your LO may very well be picking up on it more than you realize and that alone could be making the situation worse. I completely understand where you're coming from with the frustration and sense of hopelessness and worry but just try to take a deep breath and know that it won't always been this way. You'll eventually find something that works, your LO will eventually calm down a little and others will eventually be able to sooth him like his mommy can. I can't promise it will happen w/in the week but it will eventually. You can either spend the next week really stressed out or you can try to enjoy the time you have with him before going back to work. It will get better momma, hang in there!

faydre · June 2012

Sounds tough maybe he just needs to grow a bit and a little age will help. I'm sorry. That must be so so frustrating.

Do you have any sort of schedule? Baby whisperer recommends EASY, eat, awake, sleep, you... But I haven't really been able to get that to work either yet.

I hope you find something that works!

Lynnette171 · June 2012

Mine was like this for awhile- one night I was in the office and he was with DH and must've just been exhausted bc he fell asleep in the cosleeper w DH next to him- a 1st. Since then, he has been easier, but I often will put him down and just gently pat his belly until he is back asleep. It's worth a try. Good luck!

pithikaki · June 2012

My little girl does this, but not nearly as bad. We have a co-sleeper (the kind that sits in the bed with us) that we had to buy after we realized she wouldn't dare stay in the Arm's Reach. This might be a worthwhile try, because you can put him down gently right next to you and stay there to lull him back to sleep if he starts to wake up.

My LO also loves to comfort suck and before I started almost EPing, she would want to be latched on 24/7 (one of the reasons I am almost EPing for right now!! I'm RAW! ) It might be worthwhile to try giving him a paci, you can start with the ones that are made for breastfeeding babies, if you haven't tried that already. This really helped us, but I do end up letting LO sleep on me for her longest stretch of sleep with us at night, around 4-5 hours. If you're worried about nipple confusion and latch issues with a paci, I have to tell you my LO sucks her regular paci (soothie) and her bottle just like a breast, but I know that can be different for every baby.

Some nights are worse than others but I do feel like it's getting better. It also helps a great deal that I have DH feeding her with a breast-like bottle - she's even tried to latch on to him (LOL!), and she'll often fall asleep on him after her feeding. Maybe some of these ideas can help - I'm sorry you're going through this - try not to stress too much! Our babies are still very, very little!

sarahcsnod · June 2012

This is so tough! Sorry

. My DS is 5 weeks. He does not like to sleep in his crib during the day but at night we have established a routine. Bath time. Eat. Cuddle. Swaddle. Lie down in crib. I usually lie him down awakeish and let him whimper or even cry a little for a minute (never longer). If he starts to really cry I will go in and rock once and put him back down and he is always done. This has become our routine and he seems very comforted by the routine. Is he in your room? We kept DS in our room till 4 weeks but realized he would be awakened by us. The dark quietness of his room made it much better for his senses to sleep better. Hope you are able to find some peace!!

JennyJensing · June 2012

First of all, let me say that I'm so sorry you're dealing with this-I can't imagine the amount of patience it takes!

I recently read something about colicky babies that may help:

Some have said that babies cry because they sense their mother's anxiety, but this is highly unlikely. They simply do not have the ability to distinguish a mother's anxiety from depression, frustration, etc. In fact, even though parental anxiety is markedly reduced with successive children, it has been shown that a couple's later children are as likely to be colicky as their first. It is plausible, however, that anxiety may have some relationship to crying through a more circuitous route. Anxious parents are often so unsure of themselves that they jump from one calming intervention to another without doing any technique long enough for it to be effective.

Have you tried lavender oil? I've heard of people putting it on baby's sheets or clothes...

Also, you said that you don't like CIO, but you also said you're desperate. It took getting to know my LO's cries for me to be able to do this, but we used CIO last night to MUCH SUCCESS! Now, LO didn't cry for more than 5-10 minutes. Last night was the first night she slept in her crib in her own room and she did SO WELL! Using CIO does NOT make you a bad parent, as long as your LO is clean, safe and full. Many children fight sleep for one reason or another. Here's something to read that may make you feel a little more comfortable and confident: https://www.babywisemom.com/search/label/CIO.

GL!

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