We are Mom (DP) and Mommy (Me.) But honestly, 80% of the time, they yell, "Mom" which means they don't care which one of us answers and if DP isn't around they almost exclusively call me Mom. They really only use the 'correct' names if they want one of us specifically.
On a side note, we started out as letting the kids decide what they wanted to call us and just used Mom/Mommy interchangeably - until they started calling DP "Other Mom" at around 18m LOL.At that point we differentiated our names.
we let the kids decide.
For our oldest (who already had 2 different moms before joining our home as a foster child) - its mostly Mommy Elise and Mommy Andrea, though he's starting to grow out of that and just do mommy/mom/mama to whomever.
Our middle daughter started out calling me mama and DW dada ('dada' was the first thing she could say and she's always had the closest bond to DW so by default DW got that name - it wasnt a gender expression thing). Now she calls me mommy and DW mama.
Our youngest calls me mama and DW gaga. Just a random little thing she came up with, i'm sure it'll change over time.
I have friends IRL that really stress over this, but in practice its just not that big of a deal. Even if the kid calls you the same thing, its easy to differentiate...you just know who the kid is asking for.
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ctbride08:but in practice its just not that big of a deal. Even if the kid calls you the same thing, its easy to differentiate...you just know who the kid is asking for.
Just an aside, and to keep it all in perspective, my partner knew some lovely children who called their lovely mother and father Zamster and Batster. I only know because I JUST asked this question of her ("Oh, Dear, what shall they call us?").
Came from Mama-Zama (becomes Zama, becomes Zamster) and Daddy-Batty, etc., etc.
I only HOPE we can have names that cool.
37, married to my favorite person in the world, DW! One darling surfer-girl (12) and one darling, sweet boy born 3/16/13.
5/2013 Started TTC #3, DW's turn: 5/2013: Diagnostics (shg) and surgery (polyp rem.) for best chances. July-Oct: IUI # 1-4, medicated, monitored, triggered. All BFN. IVF in Jan May. Sheesh. Whoop! IVF#1 cycle started 4/2/14. 5/1: 19 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, ICSI'd. 4 fertilized. Only 2 to transfer/freeze stage. 5/6: Two embryos transferred. 5/15: Beta #1 9dp5dt is 134! BFP! 5/19: Beta #2 13dp5dt is 672! B'erFP! 5/21: Beta #3 15dp5dt is 1853. Yay!
"Things separate from their stories have no meaning. They are only shapes. Of a certain size and color. A certain weight. When their meaning has become lost to us they no longer have even a name. The story on the other hand can never be lost from its place in the world for it is that place.”
― Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing
2brides:ctbride08:but in practice its just not that big of a deal. Even if the kid calls you the same thing, its easy to differentiate...you just know who the kid is asking for.Yup.
We were going to go with Mama (me) and Mommy (L) but I think they will each figure it out.
Carrot calls us both Mama, or Mama J and Mama/Mommy L or sometimes J & L. She also calls her previous foster mom "Mama" and [very occasionally] her bio mom "Mom" We just know who she means. Occasionally we say, "do you mean Mama B?" "Yeah, Mama B." or "No, Mama L."
Zucchini calls us J & L. She might switch to aunt later, I won't be surprised.
2mommiesinoh:Ky calls me mama and DW dada. Dada was one of the first things she said and it kind of stuck once she started saying it to DW exclusively. All of our friends and family encourage it (well except maybe DW's family still thinking it is weird). Maybe one day she will change but we are both okay with it. The only thing we do not want is the whole mommy D and mommy A. We are not okay with first names form our children.
DD comes from a previous relationship. She will be 15 on Christmas and met DW when she was 7. She calls me Mommy and calls DW Mother when she is being silly and by her first name in general. When she is speaking about us to other's she calls us both mom. DS is 2 and has always called DW Dada. He calls me mama. It's the babies are gravitating towards calling DW dada and I have heard a mamamamama just a few times. We refer to ourselves as mommy. DW was going to be mama, but always say's mommy when referencing herself. All in all, they will call us what they want. DD will be the only one that refers to DW by name.
DW has a fairly strong preference for "Mommy", and I'm from the "whatever works" camp. I'm also perfectly happy with first names, but my in-laws would probably have a fit. My family is all kinds of laid back about this issue. My sister and I call our mom her first name, Mom, and Mommy, depending on context/mood. My mom actually often doesn't answer to "Mom" anymore since she hasn't had us living there in 15 years, so I'll call her "Firstname Mommy" to get her attention.
My sister wanted to be called "mama" (which is the mother title in Swahili), but my niece calls her "Mommy" even though she calls her dad "baba", the Swahili title. Which is to say, little kids often don't get internal consistency.
I am Mama and wife is Mommy. Our little guy is 17 months. He knows who is who, but just says "Mama" right now to both of us. But if someone says "Go see Mommy," then he knows to go see my wife. Same thing if someone says "Go see Mama" then he knows it's me. Hopefully he starts saying Mommy soon...he loves that woman! lol
DW who carried is MAMA and I am MOMMY or possible IMA ( hebrew for mother)
Our plan for potential future baby (fingers crossed, we inseminated again last week):
my partner (carrier) = papi or pops
me = mama