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Natural Birth
Biggest VBAC fears
So, I'm having a home birth after a csec two years ago, and I'm surprised at how relaxed I am (currently) in regards to the risks. My biggest fears are rather silly, but I stress about them nevertheless.
1. Will there be enough food made ahead of time and will I remember to eat. I'm a terrible cook, and I want to do freezer meals ahead, and just some marinated meats, but I worry because I don't have a bible of family recipes under my belt.
2. Will my husband be calm or so stressed this time too, that I won't be able to relax my body again?
3. How do I not tell people I'm planning a home birth when they bluntly ask whom my OB is and where I'm delivering? I'm terrible at lying and I get misunderstood often, so I'm worried I'll come off with an "I'm better than you" attitude, when in fact, I'm short and blunt when I'm talking about a subject I don't want to discuss at the moment.
4. The struggle of telling my mother (so she doesn't feel hurt being the "only one" who doesn't know), and the struggle of having to deal with her unknowingly mean/blunt opinions based on facts from thin air. She's very good at saying the perfect things at the right moment that really make you mad or like crap. This may be why I come off wrong as stated under stress number 3.
Any hoo, what are some of your main fears and how are you overcoming them, or not, at this time?
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Re: Biggest VBAC fears
1) are you on pinterest? There are tons of great freezer meal pins that you could use.
2) all you can do is try to prepare him and talk about it ahead of time.
3) are you seeing a midwife? If so just give them her name with no more info
What hospital will you go to if you need a hospital transfer? Just give them that info if they ask. It's the truth if you do deliver at a hospital it'll be that one they don't have to know that you don't plan on going there unless there's a change of plan.
Reirect the conversation as much as possible.
4) prepare yourself you know she's not going to react well so refuse to discuss it. Say this is our plan and we have researched it, we need no further input so any opinions you have keep to yourself.
3. I only told a select few people about our HBAC. For everybody else I just said I wanted an unmedicated vaginal delivery and that it would be at the hospital that I would transfer to if needed. I felt strongly that a HBAC was the best decision for baby and me given everything remained low risk but also knew my family / friends / coworkers would not be able to understand this and would add a lot of stress to the situation. My MW agreed that in my situation it was likely better to share about the home birth after the fact.
4. My cousin who supported DH and me through labor was the only family member to know of our HBAC plans. DD was born just after midnight and we chose to be cautious and transfer her to the hospital because she was 4 weeks early and working just a little bit extra with her breathing. Anyhow, I called my Mom around 9 am and told her baby was here, gave her stats, told her labor wasn't that hard and one more surprise was that baby was born as planned at home with midwives. She was definitely surprised, I was just honest with her that I knew she would be very worried if I told her ahead of time - to which she agreed. I have included her lots since then and let her be there for one of my PP appointments with the MW. So much has changed since I was born, my Mom was shocked that my chances of VBAC were so much lower in the hospital.
Do whatever is best for you and your HBAC and everyone else can deal after the fact. Good luck with your HBAC! I do hypnobirthing and thought it really helped me trust my body. The MW only made it 30 minutes before delivery and I was already pushing because it went so well.