Very interesting: ask a L&D nurse anything

tokenhoser · June 2012

https://pandce.****/index.cgi?board=mm&action=display&thread=22854

She's either very different or a lot more honest than the ones we get on this board.

WearingRed · June 2012

She sounds like a witch with a capital B! Well at least as far as natural birth is concerned. She kinda sounds like the triage nurse I had that told me I wasn't in labor because of no change in an hour and that just because i was having contractions on my due date didn't mean I was going to have a baby soon. I still wish my water would have broken all over her shoes!

honkytonk_kid · June 2012

Honestly she sounds like a typical, not so pro-natural childbirth L&D nurse to me.

"I think women who don't get an epidural are crazy! Why go through all that pain?"

"I find the birthing ball to be quite ridiculous since most of the time they end up sitting in a corner while mom happily labors away with an epidural"

Vague generalization about birth plans causing c/s

"Just about everyone gets an epidural. I love them."

This really sums it up for me-

"If they don't want pain meds, there's not much we can do for them."

This is why it's important to prepare, take a class, get a doula, etc if you really want a med-free, low intervention birth. Because you might end up with this nurse. I'm not saying she isn't a nice person or isn't great for some moms (ie the ones who get an ASAP epi, lol) but she does not sound knowledgeable or supportive of med-free childbirth.

tokenhoser · June 2012

My favorite part is that she "tried" for a VBAC... but she didn't have a birth plan. Or prepare in any way. And it didn't work.

But just showing up and getting the epi is still the best way to have a baby.

tokenhoser · June 2012

secondaryPULSE:
...This is a big factor in my hesitance to give birth in a hospital. The person you'll see the most in your care team is likely to be your nurse, and it's a roll of the dice as to whether you get a NB friendly nurse or not. Yikes.

I know a nurse that had a home birth for this reason. She knew alllll about hospitals and nurses.

I just hired a doula. My nurse didn't really have to do much. I showed up at 10 cm, my doctor was there within a half hour of me showing up. The nurse pretty much just stayed out of my way (and said "helpful" things I ignored like "let's get her on her back").

iris427 · June 2012

Ugh. I was lucky that my nurses were super supportive of my NB plans in the hospital. It's too bad some nurses can't see past their own ideology to support the patient in her wishes for her birth.

Klikina · June 2012

Ooooh, the line "I couldn't wait to section her!!" is really telling. WOW. Assault, much? I understand that she probably meant that a c-section was safer at that point for the mother, but geez lady, there are better ways to say it. And she wouldn't tell a patient if a doctor made a mistake? This lady is in the wrong profession.

hilwithonelary · June 2012

I'm really glad I read this thread *after* I gave birth. It would have made me nervous about what the nurses might think/say/do.

RockyMtnMama · June 2012

I had a very supportive nurse for my first natural delivery in the hospital, but I also had three friends, my sister, my Bradley-trained DH, and a relaxed CNM there for support.

This girl does come across as well meaning and honest, but she is a bit judgey. I don't get it - when someone tells me that want a c-section or that they didn't even consider natural birth, I never preach or complain or tell them otherwise. A couple of my closest friends and my sister didn't want to go natural and I never tried to sway them one way or another. But even on the Oct birth month the UO opinions yesterday were mostly about how annoyed people who don't want a natural birth get with those who do. I think most of the time women who judge those who had or are working toward natural labor feel bad/guilty themselves and it's not the outside judging them, it's their own inner critic.

AmyRI · June 2012

Like I'm going to shut up and trust a nurse with her strong opinions. I don't post on MM, but I wish someone would ask her how often epi's don't take on the first try, or at all, or the number of women that suffer the side effects from them.

I am very glad that my hospital's policy is to let you change nurses as many times as you want until you find one you like. They know who is pro-natural childbirth and gave those nurses to me. I'm very very grateful that that woman was not my nurse.

DesignsOnYou · June 2012

I hate when people live up to the negative stereotypes :-(

I'm sure there are great, supportive nurses out there but if I ever needed more validation why I wouldn't birth in a hospital by choice...

StefandTodd · June 2012

I ADORED my L&D nurse. She was incredibly supportive of my choice to have a med-free birth, and told me again and again how well I was doing and how proud she was of me. Well...the one that stayed with me, anyway.

The other one (first one) and I severely butted heads and after I declined antibiotics for GBS and told her I knew she was lying to me that "one dose *does* benefit the baby..." (I asked her, "then why don't they always just give one dose to a woman once she's complete?") she left and didn't return. If I was having another hospital birth, I'd be prepared to ask for a new nurse without any hesitation if I got the same sort of crap. There are good ones and bad ones, and it's not impossible to imagine they're working the same shift! Advocate for yourselves!! And hire a doula

StefandTodd · June 2012

I hope she comes back and answers the questions she got most recently. Some good stuff finally..

AmyRI · June 2012

This post towards the end makes me twitchy: "I don't think she's criticizing women that don't get epis; she's just saying it's not her thing. I think people that run marathons must be crazy because I can't imagine ever doing something like that, but that doesn't mean I think it's bad that they run marathons."

Having a L&D nurse that is so against NB is like training for a marathon with a coach that's never run more than a mile and calls you crazy for wanting to run 26.2.

tokenhoser · June 2012

Oh, the real reason she needed 2 c-sections was because her babies were over 9 lb and she's short.

Indifferent

hilwithonelary · June 2012

tokenhoser:
Oh, the real reason she needed 2 c-sections was because her babies were over 9 lb and she's short.

I'm 5'3". I guess she would disapprove of my vaginal delivery of my 9 lb 14 oz DD. if she had been my nurse, I bet she would have been anxious to "section her" when stuck at 9 cm for several hours. If I had had an epi, I may have ended up needing a c section. I changed positions a LOT when I was stuck and when I was pushing. If I hadn't been able to do that, she may not have been a to descend.

wifeofadam · June 2012

I can't even finish the thread. She lost me at being grossed out by pubic hair.

My kids' sitter is a nursing student who just did her OB rounds. She is also pregnant. She told me some horror stories from her rounds.

I had some horrible nurses during my two hospital births. With #2 the nurse actually rolled her eyes when I said I was going natural. She was like, "sure you are." I was glad when my water broke all over her with a push. Wink

pugznploons · June 2012

I thought that thread was interesting, there is another L&D nurse on the board but I don't think she chimed in.

2 of my friends delivered at the same hospital I will (well the one i'm currently on bedrest at!) and both had great experiences with the nurses being pro-natural. My doula attended one of their births and said the same thing. Even though one ended up getting an epi at the end and the other ended up having to have a c-section due to a knot in the cord, both had nothing but great things to say about the nurses supporting their choices.

I think some are more open minded than others, and hopefully as they see more natural births they will become more educated. It seems like more women are choosing to go med free these days, but still, the majority get epis.

caralck · June 2012

It was kind of harsh to read about her judging those who don't shave. I have yet to have pubic hair get in my way of doing pap smears and bimanual exams for wellness exams. It's not that long! She sounds like she works in a baby factory hospital with high level nicu. I think those L&D nurses tend to be way more happier with epidurals and chemical labors than natural births...but that's just from my limited experiences during the family practice residency. It's the reason I'm steering clear of the baby factory near my house. Even though it may mean paying more out of pocket since insurance changes two days before my due date, I'm going to the smaller community hospital that is much more relaxed and open to natural births.

jennadoll87 · June 2012

Klikina:
Ooooh, the line "I couldn't wait to section her!!" is really telling. WOW. Assault, much? I understand that she probably meant that a c-section was safer at that point for the mother, but geez lady, there are better ways to say it. And she wouldn't tell a patient if a doctor made a mistake? This lady is in the wrong profession.

That jumped out at me as well... yikes.

pinksweetpea2 · June 2012

Posts like that make me glad that I was able to birth both of my girls at home.

Jcrab · June 2012

tokenhoser:
secondaryPULSE:
...This is a big factor in my hesitance to give birth in a hospital. The person you'll see the most in your care team is likely to be your nurse, and it's a roll of the dice as to whether you get a NB friendly nurse or not. Yikes.
I know a nurse that had a home birth for this reason. She knew alllll about hospitals and nurses.
I just hired a doula. My nurse didn't really have to do much. I showed up at 10 cm, my doctor was there within a half hour of me showing up. The nurse pretty much just stayed out of my way (and said "helpful" things I ignored like "let's get her on her back").

I am a NICU RN and just had a HBAC. My daughter was a little over four weeks early but I still felt safer at home than in the hospital. All of my coworkers think I am crazy and will talk about me until the end of time but it was worth it!

judahsmommy1 · June 2012

Klikina:
Ooooh, the line "I couldn't wait to section her!!" is really telling. WOW. Assault, much? I understand that she probably meant that a c-section was safer at that point for the mother, but geez lady, there are better ways to say it. And she wouldn't tell a patient if a doctor made a mistake? This lady is in the wrong profession.

This actually didn't bother me. My understanding was that the mother had very dangerously high blood pressure and she was very concerned about the impact that was having on both mother and baby. That's a dangerous situation and she couldn't wait to section because she knew a C-section could potentially save both their lives. Once the C-section happened mom could be treated without having to worry about the impact on baby. That's a valid reason for wanting to rush a mom to a C-section. Also, you realize that she could be risking her job and potentially a law suit by vocally disagreeing with the doctor to her patient. If she gave differing medical advice than the doctor, the patient took her advice over the doctor's and something went wrong... Suddenly she could be held liable for giving contradictory medical advice.

I'm not her biggest fan. I didn't "groom" before my DS's birth and I won't for this one. I have bigger problems to tackle in my life than my nurse's preference regarding my pubic hair. I actually laughed at that question and her response.

ETA: I winced at the woman at the very end who didn't see how formula could ever be medically indicated. I feel that naturally birthing women are generally more educated in these matters because they've taken the time to research them. She apparently, has not.

CurbsideProphet · June 2012

Overall I found her opinion of pain med free birth a bit sad, but not surprising. I think have a supportive nurse can make a big difference. The first nurse I had did not seem to understand my need to get out of the bed. For whatever reason there was change (not sure if my doula requested this or it just happened or what, but I am glad it did). My second nurse was much more supportive/understanding.

tokenhoser · June 2012

CurbsideProphet:
Overall I found her opinion of pain med free birth a bit sad, but not surprising. I think have a supportive nurse can make a big difference. The first nurse I had did not seem to understand my need to get out of the bed. For whatever reason there was change (not sure if my doula requested this or it just happened or what, but I am glad it did). My second nurse was much more supportive/understanding.

Gee, you mean the attitude and education of your nurse actually impacted your care?

Didn't you read the part where that totally can't happen?

CurbsideProphet · June 2012

tokenhoser:
CurbsideProphet:
Overall I found her opinion of pain med free birth a bit sad, but not surprising. I think have a supportive nurse can make a big difference. The first nurse I had did not seem to understand my need to get out of the bed. For whatever reason there was change (not sure if my doula requested this or it just happened or what, but I am glad it did). My second nurse was much more supportive/understanding.
Gee, you mean the attitude and education of your nurse actually impacted your care?
Didn't you read the part where that totally can't happen?

I have only given birth once, so I don't know any thing about it.

overtonhayes · June 2012

I have what's probably a dumb question. What do you ladies think about taking some of this woman's advice? Obviously, a lot of what she says is very anti-NB and I'm ignoring it (example: she essentially says "if you get an epidural then you can't move so it's easier for me to check the baby's ok", but that's not making me want one), but what about the more 'general' stuff? Like what to bring to the hospital? Whether you should listen to your nurse if she's telling you you should lay down? etc?

funchicken · June 2012

Wow, that's a long thread! I found it disappointing but not surprising. Everyone kind of piles on the med-free moms until someone speaks up and then they say, "I'm not talking about you--I'm talking about the smug, superior ones." I feel like it was par for the course when I was pregnant. I avoided talking about it unless someone asked me directly if I was going med-free because I got a lot of, "that's crazy! why would you put yourself through that?" blah, blah, blah.

FWIW I had two great med-free births with no thrashing, screaming, or writhing, and my nurses were awesome (except for one who wasn't that involved, so it didn't matter). I was lucky enough to live near hospitals that were very NB-friendly with lower than average c/s rates.

tokenhoser · June 2012

overtonhayes:
I have what's probably a dumb question. What do you ladies think about taking some of this woman's advice? Obviously, a lot of what she says is very anti-NB and I'm ignoring it (example: she essentially says "if you get an epidural then you can't move so it's easier for me to check the baby's ok", but that's not making me want one), but what about the more 'general' stuff? Like what to bring to the hospital? Whether you should listen to your nurse if she's telling you you should lay down? etc?

Well, I think her main advice was "bring pillows" (sure, if you want, bring them in after you have the baby and get settled). As for taking advice on changing positions, sure. I won't hurt to try pushing on your side if what you're trying doesn't work... but most unmedicated women will find the best way to push because it will feel right.

And I'm glad some nurses enjoy a nice med-free birth. I think it's important to ask for those ones to be a part of your birth.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

mrszee2b:
Everyone kind of piles on the med-free moms until someone speaks up and then they say, "I'm not talking about you--I'm talking about the smug, superior ones."

Apparently I'm one of the smug, superior ones. Whatever.

I guess I'm smug for implying that going med-free is at all within a woman's control. Obviously a lot about med-free birth is luck. But not all of it. It does take determination and commitment and you DO have to get your mind right. I can't believe I'm stepping out of some kind of closet by saying that it's possible to have an enjoyable birth if you're in a good mental and emotional state. Wow, how revelatory.

dande2129 · June 2012

I question the validity of the poster. At least from what I read, she wasn't using any sort of terminology that is beyond things used on TB, or other forums, or even a simple google search.

In addition, she's a L&D nurse but said, "Nursing is a great way to make good money but get a lot of time off"? She either has a shiit ton of seniority and years on the job, or she's lying. Nearly all of my friends are RNs and time off is not as easy to come back as she made it out to be.

If she is a true L&D nurse, then I pray to God that I don't get a wench like her when I go in for baby #2.

tokenhoser · June 2012

Where I am, nurses work 3 - 12 hour shifts and then get 4 days off or they work 6 shifts and get 8 days off. Yes, really. There might be OT offered, but there's no requirement to take it. My friend's husband is a new nurse and it is a sweet schedule.

She could be a faker, but I don't think so.

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