This seems really helpful, but also really weird to me...

BLuvsE · June 2012

I keep seeing this 'trend' where at the shower people will sign up for times to bring meals after the baby is born. It seems like it would be really helpful for the new mom, but also seems worse than gift grabby...almost like those showers where they have you address your own Thank You note envelope. (MIL tried that one at my wedding shower. I told her I really enjoy addressing them. Confused )

Have any of you heard of this and do you think it's rude? Or is it just me?

EastCoastBride · June 2012

I love the idea of helping a new mom out w/ bringing meals over, but I don't know how I feel about it being done at the shower. I feel like it kind of puts people on the spot. When I've signed up for this kind of thing, I need to check my schedule and figure out a day that would work best for me to do this. I would imagine not everyone comes to a shower w/ their schedule!

That being said - if something was set-up online (there are quite a few sites where this can be done), and if this was announced at the shower, I don't see a problem w/ that. And/or, once the baby is atcually born, and email could be sent out to friends and family letting them know if they are interested.

cwm11985 · June 2012

EastCoastBride:
I love the idea of helping a new mom out w/ bringing meals over, but I don't know how I feel about it being done at the shower. I feel like it kind of puts people on the spot. When I've signed up for this kind of thing, I need to check my schedule and figure out a day that would work best for me to do this. I would imagine not everyone comes to a shower w/ their schedule!
That being said - if something was set-up online (there are quite a few sites where this can be done), and if this was announced at the shower, I don't see a problem w/ that. And/or, once the baby is atcually born, and email could be sent out to friends and family letting them know if they are interested.

I agree. I would think its in poor taste to do it at the shower; guests have just bought a gift and then they're expected right away to sign up to spend more money. I think after the baby is born, or very close to the due date, someone (shower hostess) could send an email or makes calls about it. I don't know though, a lot of people already bring the family meals and don't really need someone pestering them to sign up to do it.

rhubarb123 · June 2012

cwm11985:
EastCoastBride:

I love the idea of helping a new mom out w/ bringing meals over, but I don't know how I feel about it being done at the shower. I feel like it kind of puts people on the spot. When I've signed up for this kind of thing, I need to check my schedule and figure out a day that would work best for me to do this. I would imagine not everyone comes to a shower w/ their schedule!

That being said - if something was set-up online (there are quite a few sites where this can be done), and if this was announced at the shower, I don't see a problem w/ that. And/or, once the baby is atcually born, and email could be sent out to friends and family letting them know if they are interested.

I agree with both of these, although I really don't think bringing meals are necessary (nice but not necessary). The new mom and dad are not invalids. I suppose if no one could be there to help out for the first couple of days (new dad, grandma, friend, etc) then it would be helpful. When I had my first my mom had my dad drop off a meal the first day home from the hospital. I could have used that more after I had a toddler or two! lol

I agree. I would think its in poor taste to do it at the shower; guests have just bought a gift and then they're expected right away to sign up to spend more money. I think after the baby is born, or very close to the due date, someone (shower hostess) could send an email or makes calls about it. I don't know though, a lot of people already bring the family meals and don't really need someone pestering them to sign up to do it.

EastCoastBride · June 2012

rhubarb123:

I agree with both of these, although I really don't think bringing meals are necessary (nice but not necessary). The new mom and dad are not invalids. I suppose if no one could be there to help out for the first couple of days (new dad, grandma, friend, etc) then it would be helpful.

I definitely don't think it's something anyone should feel they "have" to do, but I remember the first couple weeks. No, we werent invalids, but I was SO tired, I was forgetting to eat. Forget trying to actually make food! DH was around a LOT - and it all worked.

But my parents kept us stocked w/ food for a long, LONG time- and it was absolutley wonderful. It was one thing, while trying to learn my new baby and my new life, that I just didn't have to give much thought to.

So now, whenever i can, I absolutely try to provide a meal for new parents.

Cranang · June 2012

Yeah, I don't like the idea of doing this at the shower...mainly because some of the shower guests aren't close enough to make me something and bring it to me. I'd feel weird having my mom's friends show up at my house with food...especially if she wasn't there. Too awkward. I'm "close" to some people, but only because of who they're connected to in my life. When that person isn't there, it's weird.

It's like when Elaine and Kramer tried to hang out by themselves on Seinfeld.

sadie+w · June 2012

I do think it's bad taste to ask people to sign up at the shower, because it puts them on the spot.

I think a fine alternative would be for someone to announce that they are setting up one of the websites (I think we've used meal train for a friend before) and that anyone interested in participating should visit the website to sign up.

StaceySMC13 · June 2012

I think this would embarrass me if my hostess set this up for my shower. It's a blessing if people decide to bring me meals or even just offer but I would never have them schedule a time for delivery. It almost makes it feel like a requirement to attending the shower. And if I was a guest at a shower that had this, I would feel terrible if I didn't sign up to bring a meal if everyone else was signing up. I'd feel forced.

BLuvsE · June 2012

Okay good so I'm not the only one that thinks this is weird.

In any case, I'm planning to spend a lot of time pre-baby cooking meals that we'll keep in the freezer and have ready to heat up. I certainly am not expecting anyone to bring me food at all, and if they do, it will just be icing on the cake.

tiffmatt · June 2012

I agree with the group. Great idea, but not for a shower. A couple I knew who recently had a baby had a friend set it up online and then post to people on facebook.

I think many people plan to bring food to the new family anyway, this just allows the family to have a fresh meal and for the person delivering it to get a lil face time in with the baby, as opposed to people just stopping by. I think it is a great idea if done properly.

LorMor · June 2012

I went to a shower where the mom to be was really anti-gifts. She gets very uncomfortable in a situation where people give her gifts and she has to sit and open them in public. Anyway, one of her friends suggested this before the shower: that if you want to do something, and want an excuse to visit the baby, then sign up to this roster.

So it wasn't offered AT the baby shower: people could choose to do this as well as a gift or in lieu of a gift.

It meant people could give her *something* but still respect her No Gifts wishes.

MamaAllison · June 2012

In my old circle of friends (sob, we just moved) we would send out a google spread sheet to sign up for taking meals. I had food for a month and it was wonderful!

vababy · June 2012

I've never seen this done at a shower, but I have seen it done within adult Sunday school classes at church. The younger couples usually give the family gift cards!

margot209 · June 2012

Definitely weird at a shower, but personally I think it's weird to get anyone to sign up for it at any time. If someone is close enough to you to do this, they'll do it anyway, and you can always freeze meals if you get a bunch at once. Obligating people to do this is weird.

This seems really helpful, but also really weird to me...

Re: This seems really helpful, but also really weird to me...

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