Monday Waiting-to-Adopt Check In

jillianmb · June 2012

This is a place for anyone in the waiting-to-adopt phase to check-in. Whether you're still checking out different agencies and programs or you're bringing your child home tomorrow, this is for you! If your adoption is already complete, feel free to offer encouragement to those of us who don't have our little ones home yet!

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?

2) Where in the process are you?

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?

4) Most encouraging moment last week?

5) Biggest challenge of this week?

6) Anything else you want to share?

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

IRR · June 2012

jillianmb:
1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?
Newborn adoption using a lawyer first but will then need to introduce an agency as per my states requirements
2) Where in the process are you?
We spoke to a potential birthmom twice last week. Cautiously excited, but she need to supply her paperwork to our lawyer. We have booked flights to meet her the first week of July.
3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?
Potential Birthmom identified
4) Most encouraging moment last week?
Being told "you are the couple I would like to place my child with"
5) Biggest challenge of this week?
Waiting to hear from our lawyer about the paperwork
6) Anything else you want to share?
Question, which part of the rollercoaster is more fun for you? Up or down?
And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?
Wanted an infant, didn't want to travel internationally. Working with a lawyer to have a bit more control over the process.

HopingforChange · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?

Foster to adopt, maybe? We're still investigating... We would like the child we adopt to be younger but not necessarily a baby or even a toddler. Time will tell.

2) Where in the process are you?

Our orientation is tomorrow

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?

Not yet!

4) Most encouraging moment last week?

I don't think I am far enough along yet.

5) Biggest challenge of this week?

I guess I have to say the orientation tomorrow, because that's our first step!

6) Anything else you want to share?

I'm afraid that I am boring!

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

The top reason we're interested in foster/adopt is because we want to step up for these young kids who really just need stability and a home.

ellekae · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?

Domestic infant adoption (trans-racial)

2) Where in the process are you?

Starting documentation and home study

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?

Nope

4) Most encouraging moment last week?

Got our online silent auction fundraiser going on Saturday... And we've already raised almost $250. A quarter of the way to our $1000 goal!

5) Biggest challenge of this week?

Meh. Nothing really.

6) Anything else you want to share?

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?
Our DD is still young (14m), and we want to keep the birth order intact, so we selected infant adoption. We went with domestic because international can be very expensive with a looooong wait. And because the countries where our hearts lie (Cambodia, India, and Haiti) are not feasible options at this time (Cambodia is closed, India rarely adopts to non-Indians, and Haiti's system is a mess).

srmmm09 · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?

International from Ghana

2) Where in the process are you?

home study all but finished; fund-raising for agency fees.

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?

Started working on our formal application; DH and his dad set a date for when they're going to roof 2 houses - the last of the $ we need to apply formally!

4) Most encouraging moment last week?

I finally know around when we're going to be able to get down to business.

5) Biggest challenge of this week?

We have my mother's-side-of-the-family reunion this weekend, and I'm not SUPER excited about fielding a lot of questions, but I anticipate it being good anyway.

6) Anything else you want to share?

If you praying folks would pray for us to have funds keep rolling in while we cannot apply for grants, that'd be great - we got $100 this week just outta the blue. Big Smile

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

We wanted a child who might otherwise not have a home and whose being adopted would make room for other kids to be in the orphanage and get adopted too (or at least be better taken care of than being on the streets). And Ghana is right next to Nigeria, which is a country very familiar to our community an from which several of our friends have come. The agency we're with also has children available with the type of special need we're interested in.

srmmm09 · June 2012

Hoping, GL with your orientation! I hope it makes things clear for y'all as far as your path is considered.

jillianmb · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)? International from Russia- 2 y.o boy.

2) Where in the process are you?Waiting for our dossier to be registered- hopefully this week!

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?We shared our little man's picture with DH's parents for the first time yesterday. Everyone cried. It was awesome. DH's dad has pancreatic cancer and for a while we did not know if he would ever meet his grandchild. He is not in remission but it looks like he will probably hang on at least long enough to meet him. All this today- it was a very emotional Father's Day!

4) Most encouraging moment last week? See #3

5) Biggest challenge of this week? We will find out this week if our dossier was registered. If not, we will likely be waiting until the fall. :-( I'm so nervous!!

6) Anything else you want to share?Not this week!

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?International because it met the felt need category for us more than domestic. Also because the idea of working with a birth mom is very overwhelming to me. So much respect for those who do it!

sarahtoledo · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?

Domestic infant

2) Where in the process are you?

Deciding on agencies and starting to save and make plans to get the house ready

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?

I am pretty sure we're both 100% on board now. It has been a real struggle, in a lot of unexpected ways.

4) Most encouraging moment last week?

I spoke to my mom about how the "why don't you *just* adopt" mentality can hurt, because it's not that easy. It felt good to speak up about it.

5) Biggest challenge of this week?

So many challenges. Pregnancy announcements, I guess.

6) Anything else you want to share?

I'm really happy to be here and happy you started this check-in, Jillian!

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

We chose domestic infant adoption, so our reasons are:

1. cost

2. wait time

3. we are open to (and excited about) transracial adoption

jillianmb · June 2012

ellekae:
4) Most encouraging moment last week?
Got our online silent auction fundraiser going on Saturday... And we've already raised almost $250. A quarter of the way to our $1000 goal!

Congrats on the success to far! We also did an online silent auction and it helped us raise a lot of our funds. I'm sure you will reach your goal!!

bumpuser794640 · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)? : Domestic infant adoption, hopefully open

2) Where in the process are you?: we are saving $ and hope to send in our application in December or January

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?: not really

4) Most encouraging moment last week? : I posted about our adoption blog on FB and got some really nice comments, plus I ordered a book for family/friends of prospective adopters for my ILs and my mom and they're both excited to read it.

5) Biggest challenge of this week? : a close friend had her anatomy scan/ultrasound this week, and I have been experiencing a few moments of jealous.

6) Anything else you want to share?: I read an AWESOME adoption memoir yesterday, cover to cover in about 3hrs, and I really enjoyed it. Title was The Baby Boat.

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?: Since we are adopting after IF, we really want to experience as much of parenthood as possible, including the newborn stage. We chose domestic because it will cost us less $$ and, as much as we wish it weren't, finances are a factor. We would like to have an open adoption with our baby's BPs because we feel it is healthier for all those involved.

jillianmb · June 2012

sarahtoledo:
6) Anything else you want to share?
I'm really happy to be here and happy you started this check-in, Jillian!

Thanks- I'm really happy that everyone is participating! I love seeing posts from you. I think I will happy dance around my computer when your adoption is complete. :-)

Amyaggie97 · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)? domestic, newborn

2) Where in the process are you? Being put on the match/waiting list today!!

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate? Finished all the hurdles now we wait.

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose? DH preferred domestic and I had no preference so that's what we chose. We did look into fostering and decided that wasn't for us.

ellekae · June 2012

jillianmb:
ellekae:
4) Most encouraging moment last week?
Got our online silent auction fundraiser going on Saturday... And we've already raised almost $250. A quarter of the way to our $1000 goal!

Congrats on the success to far! We also did an online silent auction and it helped us raise a lot of our funds. I'm sure you will reach your goal!!

Thanks! I am obsessively refreshing the page to see if there are any more bids. I think my FB friends are probably tired of me spamming them with "come check out this item" posts. Ha!

Rachel Sonnier · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)? Domestic Infant Adoption 2) Where in the process are you?still doing paperwork unfortunately, when we thought we were done...the state police wouldn't accept my fingerprints, so I have to have them redone :-( 3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?Not this week 4) Most encouraging moment last week? My friends who had called me about the possible situation, said that she had given the expectant mom the web address to my blog, and that she called to tell her that she stayed up all night reading it and that she couldn't imagine a better family to place with :-) I'm trying sooo hard not to get my hopes up
5) Biggest challenge of this week? Accepted an invitation (like I could have said no) to co-host a baby shower for my one of best friends and old cycle buddy's triplets. I am super excited for her, but its her second pregnancy (she has twins) and after I survived both of my sisters in law's "accidental" pregnancies last year, while I was doing IF treatments that weren't working, I kind of thought I was done with all of this baby shower business. I'm definitely not jealous of her 5 under 5, but just the idea of doing this whole shower thing again, while everything is so up in the air for us, feels very stressful. But she deserves a nice shower from her BFF's, after all she has been through, so I can pull it together and get excited about this for her. I just needed to have a quick internet vent, bc I can't IRL ;-)6) Anything else you want to share?nope

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

(1) Travel time, with another young and very active child in tow

(2) Wanting an open adoption

(3) Concerns about the stability of IA

HopingforChange · June 2012

srmmm09:
Hoping, GL with your orientation! I hope it makes things clear for y'all as far as your path is considered.

Thank you! I hope so too! Smile

Mrs.Slick · June 2012

jillianmb:

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?
International - under 24 months
2) Where in the process are you?
We're about to get our dossier apostilled and sent off.
3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?
Completing and getting all out documents notarized almost a month earlier than anticipated.
4) Most encouraging moment last week?
Realizing we were almost done with our dossier.
5) Biggest challenge of this week?
We had to make the decision to only pursue adopting one child instead of a sibling set.
6) Anything else you want to share?
Nope
And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?
Fimilariarity since family has also adopted internationally and confidentiality due to job.

kellyrn9956 · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)? Domestic infant. We are open to children under the age of 3, but seems like newborn adoption is the most likely scenario when working domestically.

2) Where in the process are you? We are still saving a few more thousand dollars just to feel more comfortable. We plan to start homestudy in late summer/early fall.

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate? We decided on an agency. Yay!

4) Most encouraging moment last week? H and I had a discussion and decided that we are completely eliminating shared risk IVF. Such a relief to have made that decision. We will begin the adoption process and perhaps pursue 1 IVF cycle in the late fall if we get the insurance coverage. We will continue with adoption (which our agency will allow us to do) and just hope that the timing goes okay. But if it doesn't, it will just be a challenge to our already challenged lives. So we are okay with whatever happens. So we could potentially be looking at having two children very close in age if IVF works.

5) Biggest challenge of this week? Deciding our IVF vs. adoption scenario.

6) Anything else you want to share? Just scared shitless of the home study. We've got a lot of debt, but can easily pay our bills with quite a bit leftover each month, so pretty confident that we will be okay. Our home study agency doesn't even disqualify you for a recent bankruptcy, so I'm sure our situation will be fine. But it's scary.

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?
1. Cost - we cannot afford international adoption

2. Because we are already at 3.5 years TTC, we don't wait to wait another 2 or 3. I know that can happen with domestic, but it doesn't seem to be as much of the norm as some international adoptions. Well, at least from what I've read...I could be wrong there.

3. I don't want to have to travel outside of the country. I don't love to travel anyway, and even flying here in the states scares me. But to be that far out of my comfort zone, and with a child, doesn't appeal to me. At all.

christineandaaron · June 2012

jillianmb:
This is a place for anyone in the waiting-to-adopt phase to check-in. Whether you're still checking out different agencies and programs or you're bringing your child home tomorrow, this is for you! If your adoption is already complete, feel free to offer encouragement to those of us who don't have our little ones home yet!
1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?
Domestic infant adoption
2) Where in the process are you?
Homestudy done on June 8th...waiting!
3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?
Homestudy completed
4) Most encouraging moment last week?
Getting an email about possible birthmother 2 days after our home study was completed
5) Biggest challenge of this week?
Having to turn down the possible match
6) Anything else you want to share?
Wondering how some people get so lucky to be matched right away
And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?
Wanted to stay within the US and experience having a newborn

Katybug_h · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)? Foster to adopt - ages 0 - 12ish, but we're pretty flexible on that.

2) Where in the process are you? We are currently waiting for a placement.

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate? We received another phone call today about a possible sib group placement. Yay!!

4) Most encouraging moment last week? Being informed that we were the top contenders for this sib group.

5) Biggest challenge of this week? Waiting for the phone call that would let us know whether or not we had been chosen for the sib group.

6) Anything else you want to share? We just celebrated our foster son's 2nd bday. It was sooo fun!

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

1. I'm a teacher, and am exposed to children in foster care on a very regular basis. It's something that has always been close to my heart.

2. Both DH and I were more interested in adopting older kids, as opposed to babies. Not that we would necessarily turn a baby down, but we're just more comfortable with older kids.

3. Financially it is much less expensive than domestic and/or international adoption.

missred75 · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?

Domestic infant adoption

2) Where in the process are you?

Waiting to be matched

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?

No

4) Most encouraging moment last week?

Finding out our profile had been sent out twice to birth mothers last month

5) Biggest challenge of this week?

A friend announced her pregnancy after only trying for a few months

6) Anything else you want to share?

I'm struggling again this week with never being pregnant. I think I come to terms with it, and then it hits me all over again. Sad

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

1. We really wanted to meet the birth mother.

2. We weren't sure we'd be able to afford the travel associated with international adoption after paying for the agency, etc.

Blsd4given · June 2012

I'm a day late to the party... But didn't think a seperate post was warranted.

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)? We're pursuing Foster-to-Adopt right now... but may restart pursuing Domestic Infant as soon as my sister moves out and MH is comfortable moving forward. We're looking at 0 - 6yrs. But, we're flexible by a year or two.

2) Where in the process are you? We have an agency waiting for our next move for DIA. We had our first meeting with the Foster Care social worker yesterday. We start our PRIDE classes on July 2nd.

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate? Nope.. Just the meeting yesterday.

4) Most encouraging moment last week? N/A

5) Biggest challenge of this week? I think getting MH to get finger printed in a reasonable amount of time will be the biggest challenge in the near future. I'd like to do it this week... He probably won't.

6) Anything else you want to share? I bounce between being ok with not having a newborn and experiencing pregnancy and breastfeeding to being sadden that I may never experience it. I'm so much better with newborns/infants/toddlers... but MH is much better beyond the newborn/infant/toddler stage.

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose? We chose Foster-to-Adopt because we really want to help children (and their families) that are struggling. MH said he really feels "called" to pursue FTA. God willing, we'll find our forever child(ren) in the process.

Bonnie Sue · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?

We are adopting out of foster care, and are hoping for either 3 and under, or if it's a sibling group, 5 and under.

2) Where in the process are you?

We have almost all of our training done. We need to take a 1st Aid/CPR class still.

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?

We finished our 2nd 12 hr training this past weekend.

4) Most encouraging moment last week?

Same as #3

5) Biggest challenge of this week?

We are meeting with some couples that have adopted and we are just going to struggle with having any down time this week.

6) Anything else you want to share?

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

We chose to adopt out of foster care because we know that there are so many children that need a safe, loving home that haven't got to experience it yet. We really want to be able to provide someone with a great growing experience. It's obviously also a lot cheaper, so that definitely weighed into our decision, as well.

MarionB79 · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?

domestic infant

2) Where in the process are you?

waiting for the call (just like last week)

3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?

finished another mural in the nursery YAY!

We have a story book theme going on. So far DH painted the ChickaChicka Boom Boom Tree (no letters yet), Curious George, Brother and Sister Bear, Horton the elephant, Frog and Toad, the pic from "Where the sidewalk ends", Winnie the Pooh, The fox in Socks, and a German character called Pumuckl.

4) Most encouraging moment last week?

Talking to a friend of mine who recently started the path to adoption with her DH.

5) Biggest challenge of this week?

Actually doing ok this week, my spirits lifted again. I know a lot of friends have been praying for me and I appreciate it sooooo much!

6) Anything else you want to share?

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?

1) contact to birth family

2) cost

3) wait time

morgan2B · June 2012

1) What kind of adoption/fostering are you doing? And what age(s)?
foster/adopt 0-12
2) Where in the process are you?
about to foster adoption ready children
3) Any recent accomplishments or milestones to celebrate?
We told the kids that we want to be their forever family on Saturday!
4) Most encouraging moment last week?
Both of them are so excited and are ready to move in sooner-than-later. All other adults involved are super thrilled and happy it's all working out as well.
5) Biggest challenge of this week?
Just figuring out the best timing and best way to tell them.
6) Anything else you want to share?
We're busy, busy, busy. I've squeezing in three mini-vacations, then scrabbling to finish one of their rooms, making appointments, etc. before they move in for good on June 30.

And the QOTW (question of the week): What are the top 2 or 3 reasons why you choose the type of adoption you choose?
We know there are many children right in our local community that are no longer with their birthparents for different reasons and deserve a great forever family. We also do not want to save/fundraise/go in major debt spending $10k+ on an adoption when their are other options out there.

*I may have posted last week under "mandatory" b/c I forgot my login.

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