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Natural Birth
What were your feelings about giving birth before?
I guess this question is for those who already gave birth and for those who are close to giving birth.
What were your feeling about giving brith before you had your baby? Were you really scared? What was your mindset going into L&D?
And for those who are about to give birth, have your feelings changed a lot after preparing for a natural birth?
I am just starting to think about my birthing options. Sometimes, I think that I really want a natural birth and I am really upbeat about the whole thing. Then, there are moments when I think, are you kidding of me?? Do you really know the exit strategy of your LO?
I guess I am a scared of the unknown and having a horrible delivery. I was just wondering if I am starting off with these feelings, if it possible to really come around and be prepared for a natural birth?
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Re: What were your feelings about giving birth before?
I felt very positive prior to having my DS. I never doubted my ability to go natural. Things worked out much differently than I had expected (ended up with a c/s after 65 hours of labor). That being said, my single biggest piece of advice is to do your research (know what you do/don't want in terms of interventions and why), find a provider that you feel comfortable and secure with, and acknowledge that the unexpected might happen, but don't dwell on it.
One of the most positive aspects of my entirely unplanned experience was the fact that I felt like my concerns and feelings were being addressed every step of the way. I couldn't control the fact that my son was as stubborn and that my labor wasn't progressing, but I was able to have a thoughtful, deliberate course of action that reflected my desire to have as gentle of a birth experience as possible.
Thanks! Maybe I made the mistake of reading the post on the Babies 0-3 months board about traumatic births.
I guess I am just surprised that it seems a lot people were unhappy with their birthing experience. Is there any good tips for avoiding a traumatic experience?
I could have written this! So her advice to research interventions and know the appropriate times to use them is the absolute BEST advice I could possibly give. There are times where interventions are necessary and I think the difference between anxiety in using them and confidence in using them is knowledge. Having a focus on the right birth for you and your baby as opposed to an ideal birth can also help. The right birth is different for everyone and focusing on that means that if interventions do become necessary for either your health or the babies health, then you have not failed in what you were attempting to accomplish. Your success lies not in attaining an ideal experience which is, to a large extent, out of your control, but in making thoughtful and intentional decisions for the health of you and your baby.
I was anxious leading up to going into labour. I was just nervous of the unexpected. Once I went into labour I just rolled with it. You can't perdict labour and you can only prepare yourself so much. There is just so much unknown. The people that I know that love their births are those who have very open expectations. If you say "I'm only going to do x,y and z and at no point will a, b or c happen" you are setting yourself up for dissapointment.
If you can figure out what you would like to happen and what your limits are for interventions are you are well on your way. Then really prepare yourself for the fact that things may not go as you expect. If you really trust the people helping you through labour to help you stick to your birth plan but to also support you as things change it shouldn't be as traumatic. I was pretty open to how things would go with my birth and the only things I was disappointed with were things beyond my control and stupid ideas I had in my head about how I would labour.
YES. During my last pregnancy (DD is 2), I grew from a person nervous about "the pain" into a person confident that my body was made to birth the baby we created. Reading Ina May's Guide helped, as did focusing on positive birth stories. It also helped to know that interventions are NOT the "easy" or "risk free" option - there are real consequences to accepting interventions. So I second the "empowerment through education" advice.
I had a problem free pregnancy, my water broke at 38/4, and I labored to 10 cm in 3 hours. Oh - but when I got to the hospital at 7 cm, they discovered DD's butt was coming out, not her head. For an extreme planner like me, this could have been devastating. I realized that the ONE THING I had control over at that moment was my reaction to what was going on. I didn't freak out (even though people around me were). In fact, my mantra became "Yes, Yes, Yes." I ended up with a cesarean and my physical recovery sucked but emotionally and mentally I was on cloud 9 because I realized my biggest birth fear was not "having to have a c-section" but rather, it was not trusting myself, my body, my baby, and birth. I kept the trust during a hectic situation and came out stronger.
I would encourage you to focus on the things you can control. And know that you will be ok - maybe even fantastic.
(This is all a bit of a pep talk for myself, as I'm 32 weeks now with our second and planning a HBAC. Exciting but scary all over again).
I'm normally an anxiety-prone person...but with DD#1 the hormones or something kept me very calm and confident leading up to labor. I felt prepared and wasn't afraid of "pain". I had a very positive natural birth.
I was actually more prone to moments of fear leading up the DD#2, since I knew what I was facing again and was afraid that I wouldn't get the same positive birth experience. If anything though, I was more confident...because I knew I'd tell someone to leave the room if I didn't like them, or could stand up for something I wanted if needed. It turned out in many ways to be both easier (fast labor, smaller tear, knew I could do it again, known coping techniques) and a bit harder (longer transition, less nurse help) the second time around...but in the end, I got another great natural birth, if not better!
I was pretty set on natural birth from the get-go, but I did have moments of "I have no idea what I'm getting into." However, as soon as my water broke, I felt very prepared and ready and excited. Most of the worry/fear was gone. Even during transition I knew I wanted to continue even though it was very difficult.
I think being prepared (5-12 week birth class), reading Ina May's guides, reading about Bradley techniques, hypnobirthing relaxation (or having the CDs) and having a supportive team (at least your DH and one other person who knows you can do it) really helps take the fear/pressure off of you and gives you strength.
...baby #3 is here...
I thought a med-free birth seemed nice in theory and seemed to go with my world view, but I didn't honestly think I could do it until a couple of my close friends had med-free births. Talking to them made me think, yes, I could try for this.
From there, I did a ton of reading of med-free birth stories like Ina May's books and talking to people in real life. It really helped take the fear and mystery out of things.
Now that it's been a few years since I was in the thick of my med-free-birth research, I'm back to thinking, oh, could I really do that again? If I get pg again, I will take another look at all the books again to boost up my own self-confidence.
Before hand I was optimistic about a natural birth, but open to the epi and whatever happened on the day. I was apprehensive about the pain and scared of tearing badly.
ten minutes after DD1 was born I wanted to do it again. I was on a huge high, and was so in awe of the whole process.
Before DD2 I started to think perhaps I had romanticised the whole birth thing.
Then I gave birth again. Both times it was hard work, and painful, but I now know I love giving birth. I love the whole process. I have such a feeling of accomplishment, and it's a beautiful thing I have shared with my husband.
I know when we have our final child, I will be sad never to do it again.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Overall, beforehand I felt pretty good...confident, secure, and trusting of my body. I would say I was definitely not scared of the process of birth.
That's not to say that I don't very clearly recall moments in my late pregnancy that I would feel scared. I can vividly remember a time I thought, "Oh man, maybe if he turns breach I can *just have a c-section*...that'll probably be easier!"** At those (few and far between) moments, I would read birth affirmations, positive birth stories from Ina May's book, and just sort of meditate a bit, practice relaxation and remember how natural birth is.
I think some anxiety from time to time is normal...just have some tools for bringing yourself back up out of them.
I had a beautiful, very relaxed, never really scared or tense (until the very, very end) birth.
**I don't really believe it's easier, or something to make light of, and I'm so glad they're available for women who need them...I just had times I was scared at the idea of pushing a baby out, and would somewhat irrationally think it might be easier to not have any other option but a c-section (which would've been my only option with a breach baby). Just want to make that clear.
Leading up to my birth I had a lot of normal anxieties and fears but I would just remind myself that billions of women had done this before me. My body was made to do this and whatever happened would happen wether I was scared or not. So I decided to not be scared and to just roll with whatever happened.
I had a home birth and I won't lie it hurt..alot! I remember thinking in between contractions that I now understood why people wanted epi's and Csections. Yet I still would not want that for myself. I used all of the negative fuel from coworkers who said that I would'nt be able to do it as energy to have a great natural birth.
This exactly. That book put me at ease when I was pregnant with DS. People kept telling me I didnt know what I was saying when I said I was planning an all natural child birth. I was scared. After reading that book I felt so much more confident in myself and was able to block out the negative people. I had DS naturally and med-free and that is what I plan to do again this time around. It was an amazing experience and I am actually excited about it this time around!