Mom of 2+ did u sleep train one and not another?

jshf · June 2012

I didn't do sleep training with DS1 for a variety of reasons until he was 20 months. We did the Sleep lady shuffle with good results. With DS2 I am thinking of doing the sleep lady but a lot sooner, probably at 8 or 9 months. He is actually a decent sleeper so I think it would be easy for him to adjust whereas DS1 would cry and make himself hysterical. But I feel bad about doing it so early. I have mixed feelings about it but it would make life a little easier if I could just put him down. Did you do different things with your kids? Do you wish you hadn't?

celiabwatson · June 2012

My kids are very different sleepers. My son still doesn't STTN and if we even thought about putting him down awake he screamed and cried and got all worked up. There was no way that CIO would have worked for him at all.

My daughter is a wonderful sleeper and is able to put herself to sleep sometimes but prefers to be rocked to sleep (but does not nurse to sleep hardly at all).

Since my son still nurses to sleep sometimes, and even when he doesn't nurse to sleep he nurses for a while and then I lay with him while he falls asleep. There are many nights when I lay in my son's bed nursing him and singing to my daughter in the crib. She cries sometimes and I do get up and rock her if she's escalating but lots of times she will go to sleep on her own.

They get different sleep treatment because they are different children, but my feelings about sleep training haven't changed.

InfinityDreamer · June 2012

DS wasn't willing to go to sleep on his own until he was 3.5. He nursed to sleep every night until he weaned at 2, and then I had to lay and rub his back or sing to him until he fell asleep. This would sometimes take two hours.

One night I was needing to deal with our dogs after tucking DS into bed. I put DD down in her bed (she was about 15 months at the time) and shut the door because there was nowhere else safe for her to be while I did this. She cried for about 3-5 minutes at the bedroom door but by the time I was able to get back to her - less than 10 minutes later - she was asleep in her bed. I was so shocked at the novelty of it that I tucked her into bed the next night with the same bedtime routine DS has (stories, hugs and kisses, a glass of water) just to see what she would do and she said "bye bye" and never fussed. So now that is our routine.

I feel guilty some nights that I don't spend hours putting her to sleep and that she's content sleeping in her own bed, though she does still wake up every night and crawl into bed with us for snuggles. I didn't set out to do things differently with them, but I think that the point of AP is to meet your child's needs, whatever they may be, and in some cases that means parenting each child in separate ways.

SuperTreesa · June 2012

Yes, sorta. They are very different when it comes to sleep. Dd1 fought sleep and dd2 is happy to go to sleep.

With dd1 I didn't do any real sleep training before 1 year and even after that I didn't really do anything much with her. If she fussed or made a noise I ran right into her room. I didn't have a problem with this at the time. I sorta thought "drowsy but awake" was a fairy tale that just didn't exist in our house. She would wake up 3+ times a night and couldn't go to sleep by herself until she was nearly 2 years old. She only now sleeps through the night most days of the week.

With dd2 I am pushing sleep a bit more. I worry how I will function if she sleeps like dd2 so I want to help her be the best little sleeper possible. She is only 5 months old so I don't do real sleep training with her but I do let her fuss it out when I lay her down for naps and bedtime. I'm amazed that I can lay her down for her naps awake and the most she does is fuss for 30 seconds before she is out.

In retrospect, I believe I actually messed up dd1's sleep due to not really understanding her sleep signs. I remember holding her for an hour+ most nights as she would cry in my arms and seemed so tired. Eventually she would pass out exhausted. I would console myself in the fact that at least i didnt let her CIO by herself. Now when I see that in dd2 I recongnize it as her being really tired but unable to fall asleep in my arms. Instead I lay her down and she may fuss for a few seconds before she is asleep soundly.

DeniseRN · June 2012

My DS1 is going to be 3 in Sept and DS2 is due 7/15. Honestly, I did attempt some sleep training with DS 1, but he has a really high needs temperament and it just wasn't going to work. He still cosleeps with me most nights. But, he is super smart and articulate and independent during waking hours...good luck getting any snuggles during daytime hours. I may or may not attempt sleep training with number 2. I will let him fuss a bit if need be, or he may be a super mellow baby. I will just have to see how he is and go from there

nosoup4u · June 2012

I was able to night wean DS1 myself - there were a few nights of crying, but he got over that pretty quickly. DH had to be the one to night wean DS2 - he would not accept me being near him at night without being able to nurse. Different kids need different things, don't feel bad about sleep training your second son earlier!!

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