Looking for advice & opinions (TTC) — The Bump
Military Families

Looking for advice & opinions (TTC)

DH and I have had baby fever for about 6 months now. We always wanted to wait several years before TTC, but we can't seem to help wanting a baby now, after only 1 1/2 years of marriage. I was hoping to hear what you ladies thought about it.

On the positive side, my hubby is currently in a position where he is not attached to a ship and will not be deployed for at least a year and a half. I like the idea that I know he'll be here for the whole process. He already missed my miscarriage when he was in bootcamp, and I'm not eager to repeat a similar experience. (that one was a surprise!) But on that note, I naturally long for a child after that loss so that's a factor too.

 On the negative side... well the usual, I suppose. Finances aren't terrible but could be better. Conflicted about giving up the "just us" time, which was always my biggest reason for wanting to wait. But I am finding it's a little overrated. We do spontaneous things and stay out late sometimes... but I don't feel like it would be the end of the world if we lost those things.

 Ugh now I'm rambling. Sorry this was so long but for those who stuck it out, your thoughts would be appreciated :) 

IAmPregnant Ticker

Re: Looking for advice & opinions (TTC)

  • My husband deployed a few days after we found out I was pregnant and won't get back until a few days before my due date.  He is missing the entire pregnancy and that's just how it is.  Yes, it's not an ideal situation but with his job there is never a perfect time to get pregnant.  

    You and your husband need to both feel the same way about TTC and both be 100% committed in your decision to start a family.  We liked to go out and drink on the weekends and take a lot of weekend trips and obviously we won't be doing that when the baby is here.  We both decided that we were financially and emotionally ready for a baby and we TTC'd for six months before it worked out for us.

     Good luck and I hope you make the right decision for you and your husband.  

    BabyFruit Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • In no particular order:

    1) You married someone in the military.  Even in the Navy, plans change.  If you continually tried to plan around orders and deployments, you would never get anything done.  So focus on the other things in your life/marriage.

    2) Finances are important. Even more so within the military because there is a HUGE force restructure going on right now and that is during a presidential election year.  Just think what will happen next year when there isne an election for the congressmen/women to worry about. 

    People are being RIFed left and right.  DoD is continually changing the regs to make it easier to kick people out and harder to stay in (DH just lost his 4th airman due to the tummy measurement this year - the man was w/in BMI and passed his other tests with flying colors...he is just barrel chested).

    I would never have a child unless I had enough savings to cover at least 6 months of my current expenses, knowing that I would also cut every single extra (like cable, computer and cell).

    3) While having a child will should not change your lifestyle too much (we have a 16 yo and 3 yo and we travelled all over Europe), it will affect your marriage.  Babies are hard in the beginning.  You are tired, stressed, and until you get your rythm (which changes as the baby matures), life is off. 

    So be sure that your marriage itself is strong, because you can still be spontaneous with a baby...you just cant have sex on the sofa during office hours once the baby is over 6 months old.

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