Best one liners by MIL

dbowitz · June 2012

Thought this might make Weds afternoon a little more fun, best quotes by MIL, let's hear 'em (you know you want to)!

We were at a family party and DH and I were engaged, but not married. The three of us were alone (MIL, DH and I) and MIL had her arm around DH's waist and said "It's so hard to give up my son, but it's the only way I'm going to get grandchildren"

irishmom2010 · June 2012

Wow... Surprise

When we were pregnant with DD and told the ILs - MIL instantly said "I knew it! I knew you were pregnant! I could just tell." Um, no, ya couldn't. We found out two days after Christmas and the only thing noticeable at that point was that the stick had 2 lines.

MrsTwiddy · June 2012

Unfortunately, I can beat that. When I got promoted at work and we were moving out of state, we were at a family dinner and I said "Well, we have an announcement--and no, we're not pregnant, but we're trying!"

So my MIL says snidely, "Do you need lessons?!"

We actually dealt with IF for two years before getting pregnant this time...so yeah, I was slightly (and am still slightly) pissed at her comment.

renc9828 · June 2012

As my MIL eats food off of DH's plate, "I wouldn't eat off of anyone else's plate, not even your brothers." What the what? And my H didn't even notice.

southrnbellmeg7 · June 2012

When we found out we were PG with DS we lived overseas so we called and told my MIL, her response was "Well, How did that happen?" Seriously you honestly just asked me how I got pregnant!?!

phdwyfe2013 · June 2012

What about mother's (we haven't told dh's parents and won't until later cuz we don't need the whole world to know)?? We told my parent's on Sunday (who know we've been trying). My dad was all sweet amd teary but my mom was: I've been watching your stomache and noticed you didn't drink on Friday night. Um, I'll give her the no drinking (although I did put dh's glass to lips but faked it) but my stomache says nothing. I'm just above 5ft and weigh 115 so um mom I think this tummy is flat. Only the 2 lines and the yes on the digital have told me I'm pregnant.

dbowitz · June 2012

DC2London:

So my now H and I dated in high school, went our separate ways during college, then got back together senior year. While we were apart, we each had long relationships with someone else. Apparently my IL's rather liked the girl my H dated during that time (we'll call her Jenny).

One night a few years ago the IL's, DH and I were all out to dinner together with BIL and his new girlfriend. We all really, really liked this new girlfriend of BIL's. I asked MIL if she thought it was serious and might BIL be in it for the long-haul. Her response:

"We've learned not to get attached to the kids' girlfriends because we were so devastated when D and Jenny broke up."

She says this to me, his wife. It only kind of bothered me, though, since he broke up with "Jenny" bc he was so desperately in love with me! HA!

Oh DC, you have your hands full with that one!

irishmom2010 · June 2012

DC2London:

So my now H and I dated in high school, went our separate ways during college, then got back together senior year. While we were apart, we each had long relationships with someone else. Apparently my IL's rather liked the girl my H dated during that time (we'll call her Jenny).

One night a few years ago the IL's, DH and I were all out to dinner together with BIL and his new girlfriend. We all really, really liked this new girlfriend of BIL's. I asked MIL if she thought it was serious and might BIL be in it for the long-haul. Her response:

"We've learned not to get attached to the kids' girlfriends because we were so devastated when D and Jenny broke up."

She says this to me, his wife. It only kind of bothered me, though, since he broke up with "Jenny" bc he was so desperately in love with me! HA!

Wow. She sounds awesome. <<sarcasm>>

NicoleN82 · June 2012

good topic!

mine is from last summer when DH and I were still engaged. I was discussed my bachelorette with future SIL (bachelorette, the wild party, not the tame bridal shower), and MIL jumped into the conversation with "oh, perhaps i can book my hotel room with my airmiles? What do you think?". It was super awkward to say "oh, actually this is the bachelorette only...it's not the bridal shower...." and subtley tell her she was not invited. ugh....

And she is soo sweet too, which made it that much more awkward, but I couldn't have her showing up at my wild night out! lol!

RikkiRN · June 2012

Too many to count...

The most recent was not slighting, but just downright awkward. When MIL was visiting in mid-May I told her that we decided to start trying for #2 and she made some comment about "the sperm will find it's way" ... Nothing like my MIL talking about my DH's sperm to make me REALLY uncomfortable.

CocoR04 · June 2012

DC2London:
So my now H and I dated in high school, went our separate ways during college, then got back together senior year. While we were apart, we each had long relationships with someone else. Apparently my IL's rather liked the girl my H dated during that time (we'll call her Jenny).
One night a few years ago the IL's, DH and I were all out to dinner together with BIL and his new girlfriend. We all really, really liked this new girlfriend of BIL's. I asked MIL if she thought it was serious and might BIL be in it for the long-haul. Her response:
"We've learned not to get attached to the kids' girlfriends because we were so devastated when D and Jenny broke up."
She says this to me, his wife. It only kind of bothered me, though, since he broke up with "Jenny" bc he was so desperately in love with me! HA!

WOW!! I'm sure you have other stories to share about this MIL. It can't be her only one-liner with that kind of attitude!

My MIL likes to subtly point out that she's smaller than I am all the time. I haven't been overweight until recently, so her digs were unfounded, but she says things like, "I want to give you this tank top because it is SO HUGE on me. I just can't possibly wear it." She also gives me obvious disapproving looks when I say I'm hungry, have a second glass of wine (pre-pregnancy, of course), or eat anything remotely bad for me. Over the past few years, I've learned to laugh off her actions, but it was really hard at first.

MexiCali · June 2012

I'll give you two, one from marriage and one from Z.

We went to announce our engagement. H told them and after silence my MIL said "I had no idea you were going to propose". Really, we had been living together for 3 yrs at this point and been together for 5. How did you have no idea? and even if you didn't why would that be first to "congrats, we are so happy". WTF.

Z would magically be asleep when she came over. I think he sensed her..lol. MIL would always try to do stupid *** to wake him up. One time she said to me, "you have to get them to do what you want now. If not, they will walk all over you". Confused

drlnpaul · June 2012

Mine is from my own mother not my MIL. When I called last month to tell her we had a loss (She didn't know I was pregnant yet) she said oh I thought you may have been pregnant your face was looking a little fat. So helpful mom thanks because today hasn't sucked enough.

MexiCali · June 2012

Oh and one more for awesomesauceness!

I was seconds away from pushing Z out when I requested everyone to leave the room. She was not to happy with being asked to leave. On her way out she exclaimed "let's see who is going to watch him when he out".

CocoR04 · June 2012

drlnpaul:
Mine is from my own mother not my MIL. When I called last month to tell her we had a loss (She didn't know I was pregnant yet) she said oh I thought you may have been pregnant your face was looking a little fat. So helpful mom thanks because today hasn't sucked enough.

Ouch I'm sorry about that one!!

bumpuser5925118 · June 2012

My MIL was taking pictures at BIL and SIL's baby shower. At one point BIL was bending over to pick something up and his crack was showing.....MIL took a picture of it and was all "oh, you'll understand when you're a mom!"

ravenclaw1 · June 2012

this is fun!

I have some... I call this game "What she should've said"

A Story: We're chilling in MIL's living room, going to pick up our dog, she's asking about our weekend when, suddenly, she stops talking, looks down at my toes and audibly gasps.

What she said: "OH MY GOSH. What color are your toenails?!?!?!?!?!?!"

I respond: Um. Blue glittery.

MIL: "Well, I guess since you work in marketing, you can get away with that. Colored nail polish like that just isn't professional"

What she should've said/probably meant to say: "At all the stuffy, male-dominated jobs I've had, we are only allowed to have french or red polish. I wish I could work in an industry that allowed me to do more fun stuff to my nails."

--------

A Story: For some reason, we're talking about naming kids, and family names we could use that are cool, were we to be in the kid-naming market (this was about a year ago) I bring up the name Edward, saying it's cool that it's been in my family for forever, and it's H's dads name. Keep in mind, most Jew's don't name their kids after living relatives- just dead ones- but I said something along the lines of that using Edward as a middle name would be a good tribute to my family.

What she said: "OH NO. You couldn't do that. Jew's don't name their kids after relatives that are still alive. I'm waaaay too superstitious to name a kid Edward when Ed is still alive."

I respond: "Well, I'm not superstitious, especially about stuff like that. Edward has been a family name in our family for many generations."

MIL: "No, no, you really can't do that. I would never let you name your kid Edward"

Me. " "

What she should've said/probably meant to say: Um. I don't know if she should've said anything. Not her damn business.

dbowitz · June 2012

This is fun! I'm thinking we should have a weekly tribute the wonderful ladies that brought our husband and significant others into the world!

Anybody up for MIL Mondays? ( I think I have enough "tidbits of MIL wisdom" to last until Feb or so)

mrsgail · June 2012

My favorite is when MIL talks about who LO takes after. It's as if I'm not even considered in the equation. She always says, "She must get that from DH's side of the family." It could be about anything - her laugh, what foods she likes/dislikes, even the fact that she poops in her diaper, etc. "You know, DH cried when he was a baby too." Thank you MIL, don't all babies?! MIL recently said, "She definitely gets her hair color from our side of the family. It's just like her Aunt Sara's." Um, no MIL, her hair is the same exact color as mine. Remember, the one brought her into this world.? Ugh! This irks me to no end!

altandra · June 2012

This was back when I was pregnant with DD and discussing names. We were keeping our name choices a secret since she is very judgmental and opinionated about them. After being all pissy about not telling her our choices, she says, "well at least I know the middle name. It will be my name!" Um, WHAT? No, not your choice. And why would I name her after you? When DD was born and we finally announced her name, she started crying because the middle name wasn't hers and said it was ugly. To this day, she still makes a point to tell me every time I see her that she hates DD's name. "It's not a name I would've picked, but at least she is cute." yeesh.

altandra · June 2012

mrsgail:
My favorite is when MIL talks about who LO takes after. It's as if I'm not even considered in the equation. She always says, "She must get that from DH's side of the family." It could be about anything - her laugh, what foods she likes/dislikes, even the fact that she poops in her diaper, etc. "You know, DH cried when he was a baby too." Thank you MIL, don't all babies?! MIL recently said, "She definitely gets her hair color from our side of the family. It's just like her Aunt Sara's." Um, no MIL, her hair is the same exact color as mine. Remember, the one brought her into this world.? Ugh! This irks me to no end!

Mine does the SAME thing!

tabby0521 · June 2012

When we told them I was pregnant with our first, the firs words out of MIL's mouth were, "was this planned?" The next... "I thought you were on birth control". Ummm... whatever happened to just saying congratulations?

tabby0521 · June 2012

dbowitz:
Thought this might make Weds afternoon a little more fun, best quotes by MIL, let's hear 'em (you know you want to)!

We were at a family party and DH and I were engaged, but not married. The three of us were alone (MIL, DH and I) and MIL had her arm around DH's waist and said "It's so hard to give up my son, but it's the only way I'm going to get grandchildren"

At least she found an upside. haha MIL came up to me at our wedding in tears and said, "all my sons are gone now. I have no more kids left". Melodramatic some?

irishmom2010 · June 2012

dbowitz:

This is fun! I'm thinking we should have a weekly tribute the wonderful ladies that brought our husband and significant others into the world!

Anybody up for MIL Mondays? ( I think I have enough "tidbits of MIL wisdom" to last until Feb or so)

Yes

altandra · June 2012

Here is another one from my own mother. When we told her we were pregnant this time around she says, "You don't want to be pregnant NOW! You will have to go back to work before summer vacation!" (I'm a teacher). Ok, Mom, I'll just get rid of this one so that I can have a more convenient maternity leave.

CocoR04 · June 2012

ravenclaw1:
A Story: For some reason, we're talking about naming kids, and family names we could use that are cool, were we to be in the kid-naming market (this was about a year ago) I bring up the name Edward, saying it's cool that it's been in my family for forever, and it's H's dads name. Keep in mind, most Jew's don't name their kids after living relatives- just dead ones- but I said something along the lines of that using Edward as a middle name would be a good tribute to my family.

What she said: "OH NO. You couldn't do that. Jew's don't name their kids after relatives that are still alive. I'm waaaay too superstitious to name a kid Edward when Ed is still alive."

I respond: "Well, I'm not superstitious, especially about stuff like that. Edward has been a family name in our family for many generations."

My MIL, who is also Jewish, explained this to me the FIRST time we met. DH and I were just dating at the time, so needless to say, it was awkward to discuss future baby names.

CocoR04 · June 2012

altandra:
Here is another one from my own mother. When we told her we were pregnant this time around she says, "You don't want to be pregnant NOW! You will have to go back to work before summer vacation!" (I'm a teacher). Ok, Mom, I'll just get rid of this one so that I can have a more convenient maternity leave.

HAH!!

CocoR04 · June 2012

ravenclaw1:
A Story: For some reason, we're talking about naming kids, and family names we could use that are cool, were we to be in the kid-naming market (this was about a year ago) I bring up the name Edward, saying it's cool that it's been in my family for forever, and it's H's dads name. Keep in mind, most Jew's don't name their kids after living relatives- just dead ones- but I said something along the lines of that using Edward as a middle name would be a good tribute to my family.

What she said: "OH NO. You couldn't do that. Jew's don't name their kids after relatives that are still alive. I'm waaaay too superstitious to name a kid Edward when Ed is still alive."

I respond: "Well, I'm not superstitious, especially about stuff like that. Edward has been a family name in our family for many generations."

My MIL, who is also Jewish, explained this to me the FIRST time we met. DH and I were just dating at the time, so needless to say, it was awkward to discuss future baby names.

RikkiRN · June 2012

mrsgail:
My favorite is when MIL talks about who LO takes after. It's as if I'm not even considered in the equation. She always says, "She must get that from DH's side of the family." It could be about anything - her laugh, what foods she likes/dislikes, even the fact that she poops in her diaper, etc. "You know, DH cried when he was a baby too." Thank you MIL, don't all babies?! MIL recently said, "She definitely gets her hair color from our side of the family. It's just like her Aunt Sara's." Um, no MIL, her hair is the same exact color as mine. Remember, the one brought her into this world.? Ugh! This irks me to no end!

My mom does just the opposite - EVERYTHING about DD comes from DH according to my mother. So annoying and bizarre considering how many people comment on the fact that she looks just like me including MIL.

carabear87 · June 2012

Where to begin!!! My BIL and his fiancee just found out that they are pregnant too and we are both due at the same time. already my MIL is driving all of us bonkers... There is far too many things that she says on a daily basis I would fill this entire thread up lol.

lo0818 · June 2012

My MIL is an angel but my sister's MIL is insane. When looking for wedding dresses she told her to stay way from a certain style because it would make her ass look fat. She also went on to call her son's high school ex girlfriend to talk about how awful my sister is and that she wishes they never broke up. Another time she told my sister she looked manly wearing dark purple nail polish. She continues to stalk them through text messages and is having a really hard time letting her son (and only child) go. It's really sad. Needless to say they are going to counseling to work out her issues. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have DH's mom.

marshmallows · June 2012

I could tell you were pregnant! You just looked healthier!

I was barely 4 weeks preg and looked exactly the same.

LadyMadrid08 · June 2012

The biggest one that sticks out in my mind (from my generally sweet and lovely MIL whose heart is in the right place) came right after I delivered DD. I was being wheeled up to recovery on a hospital bed and H's parents and sister were waiting there for us. The first thing MIL said to me was, "So, next time you'll have the epidural right?"

My jaw still drops thinking about it. How is that the first thing that comes to mind?? What happened to "congratulations" or even "you look beautiful" or anything else to say to a woman who just labored 15 hours to give you a grandchild. Haha. Just too strange imo.

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