Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: If you've had more than 1 preemie...
I know what you mean. I've been lucky that both of my pregnancies have been uncomplicated up until the labor stage, I just can't seem to make it all the way. After 2 NICU stays also, we've decided that I'm just not made to have a term baby. We don't know if that will really keep us from having another though if we do decide that's what we want. We just know to be ready for it and not think the first time was a fluke.
I'd just give yourself a little more time; it's not like you need to set in stone today if there will be another in the future.
I haven't had more than 1 preemie (DS is my first and only so far), but I am nervous about another complicated pregnancy. I had IUGR, placenta issues and pre-e with him as well and cannot imagine how we would cope if we had a baby in the NICU for almost 6 weeks like DS was WITH him to take care of as well.
I am still having issues coping with the loss of the normal pregnancy and birth experience, but for that reason I guess I kind of do want to try again at least one more time. My birth experience was especially traumatic because my DH could not be there for it...he unfortunately had the stomach flu of the century and wasn't allowed in for my emergency c-section...he didn't even get to meet his son until more than 24 hours later :-( So it would be really special if he could be there for at least one birth.
My DH says he is over the fact that he wasn't able to be there...he says he is just glad that Gavin is here and healthy. I think us moms have a harder time with stuff like that...I had this romanticized version of how it was going to be and it was very depressing when it didn't turn out that way at all.
That's a really good point.
If I knew for sure I would never have a preemie again, I may concern it. But I just had my yearly appointment last Thursday and my doctor stressed to me that I have about 75% chance of having another preemie. DH and I decided long time ago that two was it for us and he's getting fixed (his words) in the next month or two.
I'm sad that I'll never be pregnant again, but I'm trying not to think about that part and just enjoy my little baby now. Hugs Mama!
This is what I'm battling with right now. The reason I want another pregnancy is for that reason...in hopes of having a full term pregnancy. Obviously, it would be to add to our family and give DD a sibling but the desire to have a full term pregnancy weighs so heavily on me. (especially as friends around me are getting pregnant). DH could care less if we have another baby. But It's all I can think about. I definitely want to wait until DD is older and can understand. I see MFM on July 26th, so I don't know my odds again but I'm sure they are high. But if they tell me, without a doubt, that I will have another preemie again then I will probably not get pregnant again. I definitely don't want to go into it expecting to have a preemie, I will just be prepared to have a preemie, if that makes sense. It's such a hard decision. It's not fair that we even have to worry about this. People just don't know how lucky they are to have full term, healthy babies.
I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this way. I always wanted 3 kids, but when I found out it was twins, I selfishly felt a little cheated. I wasn't ready for all the stages to be over (i.e. newborn, toddler, preschool, etc.) and now that the twins are started preschool in the fall, I feel like it's going so fast. I wasn't ready for it to be over. I wanted more years of all this!
I feel like I could handle another 33-34 weeker (of course, I know complications can always happen), but I'm worried about having a 20 something weeker. They never found a reason for either of my PTL, so who know what my body would do? On the other hand, I never thought I'd make it to 33 weeks with the twins, so that gives me hope with a singleton and close monitoring.
I just keep thinking why push it? We have 3 healthy kids, so why take the chance? I just can't help myself wanting another baby (not for a few years though)!
This whole conversation really resonates with me. DD arrived at 25w4d and had @14 weeks in the NICU. She was only home from the NICU for 6 mo., and we got pregnant with DS. We nearly lost him at 20 weeks due to IC, and then I was on bedrest for 15 weeks. DS then arrived at 35w6d and had time in the Special Care Nursery. I look back and think that I was chasing the full-term pregnancy and not the family addition by getting pregnant so soon intentionally with our DS. As DD is now 3, and DS is turning 2, I am coming to a peace with myself that this is where we are comfortable as a family. My work on me from the old heartbreak is not done, but I know now that (rationally) having two healthy babies after all we went through is a gift. There are no "do-over's" in the baby business.