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cosleeping with DS and baby on the way...

Meg&JesseMeg&Jesse
in Attachment Parenting

Our background on cosleeping is we coslept full time with DS when he was about 3 months - year.  Then he was in his crib and then toddler bed.  However when we travelled or when he was sick he would sleep with us.  Then there was a time he wanted to sleep with us more and we let him.  A few months ago we came up with a plan that he could sleep with us on Friday nights and was then sleeping in his "new" full size bed. 

Lately I have been letting DS sleep with us a lot more.  If DH isnt home before bedtime I put him in our bed.  Sometimes it is just easier that way (and I am lazy being this pregnant) or I honestly think I am just worried about the new baby coming and am trying to soak up these moments with DS.

So moms that have 2 or more and have coslept what am I in for?  I am worried I am creating a huge problem.  We plan to cosleep right away with the baby so I can nurse.  But now I have to tell DS he can't be in our bed.  Ugh...now I feel guilty!

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Re: cosleeping with DS and baby on the way...

  • Harper'smomHarper'smom
    Honestly, it was a problem for us. #1 used to come in our bed a few hours before our final waking. Once the baby came, who we bed share with, we tried to make it work with both and it did not work. #1 is a wild sleeper and became overly aggressive about trying to climb on me while sleeping and it was not safe.  She also would get so wound up and interested in the baby that she would not go back to sleep and that contributed to her post sibling dramatic mal-adjustment disorder. DH started taking her back to her bed and staying with her for the rest of the morning. Now she stays in her bed and skips that wake up and it has helped with the behavior quite a bit. I try to nap with her on weekends and I lay with her when she falls asleep to build in snuggle time that way. In a way I'm glad we tried it but it was so sad sending her back to her room that I sort of regret not working with it beforehand. We didn't bed share full time with her and she wasn't in our bed as a newborn so I wasn't sure if we would with #2. Oh well, #1 gets good sleep and #2 is safe so it all worked itself out.
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  • angluvsammonangluvsammon
    We were able to transition DS to a toddler mattress set right next to DH's side of the bed about a month before DD arrived. Our mattress has been on the floor since we decided to bed-share. He slept there until DD was about 8 months old, and then he came back into the family bed. We'd sleep edge, DS, DH, me, DD, edge. So the kids were on opposite sides from each other. Once DD was older, the order didn't matter so much and we'd all sleep wherever. DS moved to his own bed about 6 months ago and DD joined him a month ago. So they bedshare and we plan to bedshare with the new baby. 
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  • Meg&JesseMeg&Jesse

    imageHarper'smom:
    Honestly, it was a problem for us.

    Thank you for your honesty!  Even DH said something tonight.  Worse case scenario I think DH can sleep with DS in his room until he gets used to being on his own again.  I am sure we can work something out, but I know it might be a struggle.  And...I feel like I am the one who "created" it!

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  • Mrs.TeddyMrs.Teddy member

    I was so worried about this. Our co sleeping history is very similar ot yours.

    In January we got a toddler bed that L picked out with cars bedding ( I HATE themed anything but really wanted him to like it). We transitioned him to that bed within a week, he did amazing. I reassured him i was there if he needed me and that if he needed to coem to our bed in the night he could. SOmetimes he does and sometimes he doesn't.

    DD is in our bed much less then DS was. She is in a rnp beside my bed and she's STTN from 9-5 at 5 i take her in my bed. DS has started coming into our bed more consistently and he sleeps between DH and I, I keep dd on the outside or I cradle her in my arms in those early morning hours. Its much less of an issue then I expected it to be.

    We are vacationing next month I'm hoping to try a slow transition into their own rooms after that.

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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    Can you have a mattress or sleeping bag by your bed for him? I would imagine he'll realize newborns aren't very fun to sleep near pretty quickly, but I would also start talking to him about transitioning back to his own bed. Maybe also think of having him sleep with you guys when the baby gets older? Would your DH be okay with co-sleeping with your son? 
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    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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  • KateLouiseKateLouise member

    We've co=slept on and off with DD1 since she was born, and have transitioned her to her own bed a few times, only to revert to bedsharing at various times.

    When DD2 was born she was STTN in her own bed but would wake at times and need resettling. DH and I decided he would sleep in the nursery and attend to DD1 as needed, and I would bedshare with DD2.

    Somewhere along the way that turned into DD1 getting into bed with me and DD2. One on either side of me. It's safe and DD1 is a very quiet sleeper so generally it works, but sometimes when DD2 is being fussy it disturbs DD1, and I miss DH. 

    I haven't had the heart to kick DD1 out when DD2 is in bed with me. Plus I've been attending to both girls so that DH, who is working full time and doing his masters, can get as much sleep as possible. 

    Not quite sure when we'll change things up, not for at least a month because DH is going away for a week, so it's easiest for me to have both girls in bed with me while he's away.

    Probably when he gets back we'll make a change. 

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  • Meg&JesseMeg&Jesse

    imagenosoup4u:
    Would your DH be okay with co-sleeping with your son? 

    Yes we have talked about having DH sleep in DS's room once in awhile to ease the transition.  Good news is lately DS has been sttn and not waking up once or twice a night like he was before.  When he woke up I would often go into his room and sleep in there (this was after we moved him to a full sized bed).  DH is going to have to take that job over if that happens. 

    I also like the suggestions of a sleeping bag or mattress in our room.  Or he can always sleep in the middle of us, as the baby will be on the opposite side of me. 

    I just know this wont be an easy transition and am trying to plan ahead as much as possible.

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