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Working Moms
SavedByLove
member
Anyone ever "step down" and regret it?
SavedByLove
member
in Working Moms
I'm gong to try and avoid a dissertation here.
I'm presently a manager (engineering) and really very stressed. I've been a manager for 9 months (returned from maternity leave into the new role). My stress is primarily work-related (i.e., not daycare or home related) and the future is not looking like the stress will ease. Maybe I'm not management material, maybe I'm not giving myself credit/time, maybe I just don't care.
Anyways, I'm really considering "stepping down" and going back to being just an engineer. What's stopping me is (1) my ego and (2) the thought that in 15 years I don't want to be just an engineer, I'd want to be a manager. It's a heavy decision because there's a very good likelihood that if I step down I'd never have another shot at management at my company again.
Ugh, I don't know what the heck to do. I was just wondering if anyone else has ever "stepped down" and either regretted it or considered it the best decision ever.
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Re: Anyone ever "step down" and regret it?
My thoughts:
-I'd figure out why you'd want to be a manager in 15 years, but its not working now. If its timing, that's fine. If the manager gig isn't what you want after all, well, then awesome - you just learned that.
-Nothing wrong with being just an engineer - that's a great career path, just different than management.
-Assuming you can pay your bills either way, go for what makes you happiest.
-What you want to do in 15 years is a long time to let it control you now.
ETA:
(Now that I have more time to type):
-I wouldn't be sure that just because you aren't management now, you couldn't be management in 15 years. That is a long time. You MIGHT have to change companies to do so, but that usually comes with a payraise in and of itself!
-I didn't "step down" as in change roles when I had the baby, but I did go from FT to PT and I LOVE it. It does mean that I'm less likely to get promoted or to get new cool projects since I just don't have the time to develop skills that would be needed or to give time to new stuff, but that is okay. I'd rather have those times with my family. I figure once the kids get to school, I can re-evaluate and always focus more on my career. If I want.
-I have "stepped down" before though from management to engineering (software design in my case). This was way pre-baby - even pre-marriage and I didn't regret it. I'd do management again, but at that time, in that place with that team, it wasn't a good fit for me. Insane expectations. Stupid moves by the company that I had to enforce. There's always some give and take in those situations, but it wasn't bearable for me.
Good luck!
I am an engineer and although I didn't "step down" I did go from FT to PT which limited my opportunity to get promoted. I never regretted the move, but I did change jobs to a small company where my working PT doesn't limit my ability to move up in the company.
My point is that I think it's possible to find a job/company to match what you want your future to look like instead of trying to make your current situation match what you want.
I have to say is that being a manager is a very different job than being the "executer". Personally I have learned that I don't really like the management parts of my job. I do get to execute enough that I am satisfied, but by moving up I have learned that I don't ever want to be a manager (of other people) exclusively, even if it means more money, it's not where I want my career to go.
I'd do some soul searching about whether that is actually what you want in 15 years or if it's just upward mobility that you think you'll want by then. Then maybe you can something new about yourself and you can find other ways to move into higher positions within your field without management. Or if it's just about bad timing then that's fine too, you never know where you'll be in 15 years so there is no reason to think that just because you don't want it now means you'll never have it again.
Don't beat yourself up if you don't enjoy that part of the job. Like I said, they are very different roles and there is no reason to stay in one that makes you unhappy.
GL!
I am in a different industry (auto claims) so not sure how much I can help, but I stepped down from a 6-year long management position back to a claim adjuster about 3.5 years ago. I did NOT regret it. I did it for many reasons, one of which to gain experience in a different type of claim department. I then put in for a management position again (actually a step above what I did the first time) when I was pregnant and *yikes* got the job...so I am in the same boat as you as I just returned from maternity leave into the new role.
My suggestion would be...can you "step down" into a different type of engineering department or role? I know nothing of your industry so that may be a dumb question. If you can, you could sell it to your company as a developmental goal for you. That you want to go and get that new experience to make you a stronger leader in the future when you are ready to return to management.
My last thought is that since you have already made it 9 months, I would at least wait another 3 to get to a year. My experience has been that it takes a year in every new job to finally get that "light bulb moment" where everything just clicks. If you give it a full year, you'll know for sure you tried and if you still are not happy you won't have any regrets changing roles.
GL!
Not me, but my coworker who was a technical manager did. I can't say for sure but I really don't think she regrets it. She got promoted to manager when she returned from mat leave #1 and chose to step down during/after mat leave #2 about 12-18 months later. She told me she needed the more predictable schedule of being the "worker" instead of the manager. Sure, her managerial position isn't open today if she wanted it back, and MAYBE the company would hesitate to promote her again in the future but as "old boys club" as our company is they really seem like 15 years from now (your example) they'd be open to giving her a promotion again.
I'm an engineer and I stepped down from full-time to part-time (3 days/week) when I returned from mat leave with LO#2. I didn't want to give up my career but wanted to spend more time with my kids. I've only been back for 2 months and I'm so much happier and less stressed than I think I'd be if I was full time. I still have work stress and am still trying to figure out how to get my job done in 3 days, but I've gotten over any concerns about lack of future career advancement. I truly believe I'd be able to step back into a higher role in the future if I choose to pursue it. My company was hesitant to grant me part time status - never had a part time engineer before - but in the end they decided to give it a try. As my boss put it "times are changing".
Good luck with your decision.