DH coming to appts?

Mike_Patti · June 2012

Generally I go to OB appts by myself. DH came to the two routine u/s appts, one of which was done by my OB so that he could meet my doc before the delivery. Most of my appts (thankfully) have been nice and boring, so I never really felt like DH had to be there for me to pee in a cup and have my uterus measured for the millionth time.

However, as time is getting closer I'm thinking that maybe I should start taking him. By my next appt I'll be nearly full term and my doc and I will get into the process of discussing labor, my expectations and preferences, etc. DH is somewhat nervous about the whole process and I think giving him the chance to ask questions of the doc may help. Anyone else started bringing their partner to appts later in the game? Did it help ease his anxiety?

OUKatie · June 2012

I'm not taking DH to any of the rest of my appts. He came to the first appt where she dated the pregnancy with an u/s and he came to the anatomy scan. That's it.

We've already discussed pregnancy procedures and preferences at this point. DH and I took a childbirth class together so the two of us were able to discuss our preferences then I was able to relay that to my ob.

If you didn't take a class or if you feel like it will help put your DH at ease, by all means, take him.

PLS2010 · June 2012

DH has gone to every appointment from the beginning except one. I think it has helped him to understand what I'm going thru and what he can expect. I think especially if your hubby is nervous about labor it would be a really good idea for him to start going to the last few appointments. Maybe you can see if there is a book you can read together about labor? Heck, I had a co-worker who had her hubby watch youtube videos about birth! lol

bethanyui · June 2012

My husband has been to each appointment except for one when he was out of town for work. His schedule is flexible so he can just set the date and time in his calendar. I think it makes him feel more involved in the pregnancy, a midwife we don't normally see even let him use the doppler last time and she showed us both where baby's head is. I don't think it's silly or pointless for him to keep coming to each appointment especially since he helps me remember questions and the midwives can explain things to both us at the same time.

RTaylor12 · June 2012

DH came to my first several appointments when we were both still really paranoid about the whole thing. The last one he went to was the anatomy scan appointment, I think, and then after that, the appointments became so quick and routine that we realized how pointless it was for him to come with me. We took a childbirth class together so we both feel pretty prepared for labor and delivery. No need for him to come anymore, but he has strict instructions to be ON CALL especially on appointment days, just in case I'm crazy dilated and they decide to admit me.

surprise3rd · June 2012

DH came to almost all of them when I was pregnant with my first, a few when I was carrying my 2nd, and two appointments with this pregnancy. I would bring him if it is going to ease his mind. I am a c-section mama, and this is will be my 3rd RCS, so DH knows exactly what to expect as far as how the procedure goes etc.

catapult32 · June 2012

My SO has come to all of my OB appointments. He knows nothing about pregnancy and it was beneficial for him to get the information first hand, and I found it was good because then I didn't have to remember word-for-word what the doc said to repeat it for him (yay prego brain).

I don't think it's that uncommon for partners to come to the first "important" appointments and then come back for some of the later "important" ones too. I have a girlfriend who's H has only come for the confirmation, anatomy scan, 36 week, and 38 week appointments for both of their kids. They found that it helped with his anxiety for him to come to the last two appointments, but the ones in the middle just made him more nervous.

hellomommyhood · June 2012

i like the idea of doing it together - we are both having a baby at the end of this thing I think it's good to both be part of the process!

peeper72 · June 2012

Even late the appointments are so boring that I don't ask him to rearrange his work schedule for them.

breannie · June 2012

DH only came to the first routine appointment and the anatomy scan. He also came to one of the kidney u/s. I don't plan on him coming to anymore, we have the prepared childbirth class this weekend which will hopefully be the dialogue that we need to make sure he has all the info he needs!

MetsGirl18 · June 2012

With both pregnancies, he has only come to my sono appointments. I don't expect him to go to my regular appointment. I have been getting growth sonos every 4 weeks with this pregnancy. He goes to those appointments, but not to the weekly ones where I have NSTs and quick sonos just to check the fluid level.

iheartnjdevils · June 2012

DF has come to most of my appointments. I've told him numerous times he doesn't have to come because they're quick and boring but I think he really likes hearing the doctor first hand. The last appointment he missed, the doctor and receptionist were both asking where he was, lol. It was cute.

oncoRN · June 2012

DH and I have really flexible schedules, so he has been to every appointment except for maybe 2? We just schedule around them, I think it makes him feel better going and hearing about what we need to do next haha..he's a planner!

OUKatie · June 2012

Wow, I'm surprised so many DHs are going to appointments.

My DH works almost an hour from the house (if he can't carpool) and averages 75 hours a week. While his schedule is technically flexible, there are only so many hours in the week...

MrsJax2011 · June 2012

DH comes to all of mine, except last week and this week. Due to a jammed schedule I had to get AM appointments. I usually get the last appt at 430 and he can leave work early to be there. I like having him there as a second set of ears and to remember to ask the questions I forget.

littlepenguins · June 2012

Mine comes to all of mine. We have flexible schedules and the OB's office is in a part of town where there are a lot of things to do, so we combine the appointments with going out for lunch (or practical things, like a trip to Trader Joe's).

I think it's beneficial for us for a few reasons: our OB is attached to the hospital where I'll be delivering, so now my H knows the space and layout well. He can also ask the doctors any questions he has while he's there (and he hears the answers to my questions). He gets to see all the paperwork we sign so I don't have to explain it all to him. The OBs in the practice have also met him and interacted with him, which will make things more familiar when I'm in labor. On Monday I ended up having an U/S to determine position, which meant he got a surprise peek at the baby. And I think he prefers to drive longish distances this late in the pregnancy, because it takes us an hour to get to the hospital/OB.

I will say he thought it was a little weird to see two different women (my OB and one of the partners in her practice) do a cervical check on me. I'm guessing he might have been a little more disturbed by the image if it were a male OB. I think it's one thing if the baby is coming out, another if you watch someone reaching a hand in your wife. Sorry if that's TMI...

KarmB · June 2012

David has and will come to every single one of my appointments because We feel its jsut as much his appointment as it is mine. Our doc has always included him in the conversations and I think it makes him feel mroe apart of the pregnancy since he cant actually be pregnant. I couldnt imagine it any other way.

If Hubby is nervous, def bring him along to a few and let him ask questions even if they sound silly to you.

Vive · June 2012

DH has made it to all the OB appointments thus far - he only missed the A/S scan - but we get an ultrasound done at every appointment anyway so it wasn't too bad. We have scheduled all our OB appointments on a Saturday because for both of us, a weekday would just have been awkward to schedule around work and public transport timetables (which is how we get to work).

temporalrobe · June 2012

mine only goes to the ones involving ultrasounds.

they have been super quick and boring so i'm happy to not have him use up work time for them.

he'll be ok.

writerinNYC · June 2012

DH comes to all my appointments. They weren't so exciting in the 2nd tri, but because I have too much fluid, I have to get Biophysical Profile u/s every week now so he likes going to those since he can see the baby. Also, there's a possibility they may send me for an immediate induction if my levels increase, so I'd like him there just in case.

LM915 · June 2012

DH came with me to all the appts at first, but then stopped after our a/s. They have all been super boring and quick, so we didn't really see the need for him to go. But now that we know the baby is breech and have a c-section scheduled, he actually wanted to go to this week's appt. He had some questions and was curious about the process, etc... so he wanted to go. I think now that we're nearing delivery, he wants to make sure he's not missing out on anything.

JustAhopin · June 2012

My DH has been to every appointment except the very first one (cause I made it too early and he couldn't get off work, we have found a day that I can get appointments in the afternoon instead of mornings).

I think it's great for several reasons. There have been times that I've had to wait a long time for the doctor since he does get overbooked or things get behind, so it's nice to not be sitting there alone. DH asks questions, he reminds me of some questions I've mentioned at home. Also it's another set of ears, anything the Dr says, we both hear it. Especially when it comes to signs of anything, whenever they come, I can confide it DH before freaking out and calling the Dr or saying we need to go in.

I'm not sure if he's coming to this week's one, it's the Group B deal. He at least has a heads up what's going to happen. I do remember early on when I had the pap, they did ask if he wanted to stay or step out and he stepped out. I don't know if for this if they'll just do it or ask him that again.

mandalinn25 · June 2012

Mine comes to almost all of mine. We both are self employed and have flexible schedules. He actually wants to go to them too, so he can ask questions, be a second set of ears, etc.

APendola · June 2012

I had three ultrasounds and he came with me to all of them. He also took a prenatal class with me (last class is tonight!) So that has helped him stay involved.

I don't expect him to come to the regular check-ups. He would have to take time off work to attend them and we would both rather he save the time for when the baby is here. He recently switched jobs and has more flexible hours, so I hope he'll come to the baby's check-ups with me.

doggie mama · June 2012

Mine came to the more significant RE appointments and u/s. Since graduating to the OB, he's only been to the anatomy scan, but he'll be at next week's u/s. He hasn't gone to any OB appointments but he met the doctor because I was hospitalized before we started IF treatment and my doctor was on call. It's just too much of a pain to arrange something around both our schedules. I start working from home at 38 weeks though so I may be able to get him into one of those last appointments.

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