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June 2011 Moms
sunshine336
member
self-care skills "milestones"
sunshine336
member
Sorry- I don't know how to make it clicky on mac. I came across this on my facebook feed. It is a list broken down by age of what we should be striving for our children to learn to do by themselves. I must say, Maya doesn't do much of the "Crawling- 12 months" list items which include:
-throwing bib into hamper
-clean hands and face with damp washcloth (Maya hates getting cleaned up after she eats- hates it- I don't think she'd do it herself)
-stow own shoes away (we don't really have a go-to place for them that's in her reach)
-self -feeding a snack like cut up fruit (this one she's got down, lol)
The 12-18 month "milestone" list suggests our LO's should be learning to wash their hands and teeth (with minimal help), start exploring with undressing themselves, removing shoes, choosing their own outfit, using an adult (not sippy) cup, and using a spoon and fork.
How are your LO's showing skills similar to these? What do you think of this list?
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Re: self-care skills "milestones"
We don't put DS's bibs in the hamper but he will throw something away if I ask him to.
He also hates having his face washed and i've never even thought to ask him to wash his own face, he doesn't wear shoes yet so that one's a no go as well.
He can definitely feed himself and has been long before he started crawling.
I've never asked him to wash his hands but he's actually pretty good at brushing his own teeth.
He doesn't dress/undress himself yet but he does help out: he will lift his feet/legs out of his shorts if he's standing up, will raise his arms above his head when taking off his shirt, and will put his arms through the arm holes when getting dressed.
Caroline just tested at only the 6 month level for this development category Ina early intervention evaluation. They didn't ask or look for these types of things. In Caroline's case she cannot: eat solids with or without help on a consistent basis. This includes all solids including pur?es. She screams when you try to bathe, dress or diaper her. She screams if you put lotion on her. She cannot keep herself for even minimal amounts of time/ is entirely dependent on my playing with/entertaining her. She cannot be left alone at all. It is truly a hamper to my and her life ( some may have seen my posts about my inability to shower).
Unless your LO has essentially no self care skills at all I wouldn't worry. This list seems exceedingly advanced to me.
-I've never tried to get her to put something in the laundry, but I don't think she would do it.
-She also hates having her face washed
-She doesn't wear shoes
-She's been self feeding since we started solids
For the next set, she does like to "brush" her own teeth, but it is mostly her chewing on the brush. She did take off her diaper the other day when she was supposed to be taking a nap
but I don't think I'll be encouraging that! The few times she's worn shoes, she's had no trouble taking them off, but she couldn't undo laces or anything like that. She can sort of use a regular cup if I hold it, and sometimes I let her practice with a fork and spoon, but there's no way she could totally feed herself that way.
I agree w/PP, that stuff all seems a bit advanced.
ETA: Looking at the actual list, it says "exploring" how to do all those things. I think that is a lot different from actually doing them. I think those are all age-appropriate things for our babies to attempt.
The way everyone I have talked to puts it- there's no need to worry about milestones unless you are on extreme ends or there are regressions. There is so much variance in behaviors/timelines at this age and its all normal.
My issue with stuff like this is does the kid actually WANT to do this stuff or is the kid UNABLE? Has he/she been TAUGHT to do this stuff, or are these things not something you're working on? You have to teach your child to do these things, and if the child has absolutely no interest in throwing their bib into their hamper they aren't going to.
I have a book called the Wonder Weeks, which talks about the developmental leaps a child goes through between birth and 18 months or so. At the beginning of each chapter, there's the same little note that says something like: the skills discussed in this chapter are here because this is the very earliest a child could explore them, and they will be very rudimentary at best. But then after saying that, it spends the whole chapter discussing things Isaac is in no way doing at this age, and it still makes me feel bad. I was reading the "55 weeks" chapter (granted, Isaac is only 52 weeks) and it was talking about being able to answer "Meow" when asked "What does a cat say?" I cannot imagine Isaac doing that for months! He barely says Mama, and only when he's copying me.
I did notice last night that he looks at the cat when I say "where's the cat?" - which is a skill that I think the book talked about at 6 months.
He does like throwing things into hampers and boxes, but he's just as likely to take it back out. He's nowhere near putting on his own shoes or picking an outfit.
The only ones of these that Ev can do are:
-Throwing a bib in the hamper. But it's not that specific - he'll throw anything in his hamper (yesterday I found a bunch of papers in there).
-Self-feeding. But we did BLW, so he's been doing this for a long time.
-And if removing his diaper counts, he's great at helping undress himself. He does help with getting dressed a little bit - he tries to stick his arms through the armholes of his clothes and tries to put socks and hats on, but that's about it.
I can't imagine how I would teach him to do some of these things at this age - this list seems pretty advanced to me.
We also had an EI eval for gross motor. DD did fine on social emotional but they asked - how long on a great day can she play alone? Does she finger feed? Will she pick up a utensil (not use it properly). Does she try and help to dress? Does she have any aversions to textures / baths/ grass/ lotion / diaper changes? Is she comfortable with familiar adults besides mom and dad?
Also, they watched her interact with us and she loved them so was all into what they were doing.
So yes I agree with PP that these things are a little above the top.
Um, I feel this list is redic! I can't imagine Ty putting his own shoes away. He'd much rather eat them! He can pair them up, when I have a bunch in a pile while I'm cleaning, but put them away - no way!
And Ty's the same way after eating - He would not clean himself up!
hmmm this is interesting...
We don't really do shoes, btu he does know where his books go ect...
he puts his clothes in the hamper
he loves washing his hands in the sink, but HATES washing his face
he mimics tooth brush and hairbrush...
he just doesn't undress himself.... thank GOD!
If by, "Stow own shoes away," you mean in his mouth, then yes, DS is very advanced.
I would say these are NOT age-appropriate milestones, and I have various child development assessment tools within my reach at work (except I would have to walk to my filing cabinet, so please don't ask), and these are not skills I would consider age-appropriate, with the exception of starting to feeding oneself.
LOL.
Like a PP said, DD knows how to throw all sorts of things in the hamper. But I don't think she'd take something specific over to it if I told her to.
Sometimes she'll rub the washcloth on her face if I let her play with it but that just seems like random play. I will say that during her bath on Sunday, she was playing with a travel size shampoo bottle and pointed the cap at her belly like she was putting soap on it and then rubbed her belly with her other hand like she was cleaning. I was really surprised but who knows if it was just coincidence.
The only other thing on that list she comes close to is showing a slight understanding of getting dressed. She very consistently tries to put any piece of clothing she can find over her head. Of course she can't find the neck hole though. And as for picking out clothes, if you open her dresser drawer, she'll crawl over and pull every piece of clothing in there out and onto the floor. I guess she likes layers!
I'm afraid to give her an adult cup with anything in it. She know how to put one to her mouth and tip it up but that's only with an empty cup. I'm afraid she'd drown herself if there was anything in there b/c she wouldn't understand it coming out too fast. I'm also afraid to hand her a fork or spoon b/c I really don't want to deal with the mess.
I think that list is at the far end of the spectrum when it comes to abilities.
Clicky link on a Mac: [*url]https://positiveparentingconnection.net/giant-list-of-self-care-skills-for-babiestoddlers-and-preschoolers/[*/url]
Take out the stars and you get:
https://positiveparentingconnection.net/giant-list-of-self-care-skills-for-babiestoddlers-and-preschoolers/
Anyway, I guess those sound like things that you could train your baby to do at this age, if you were interested in teaching them those behaviors. It's like those "Your Baby Can Read" things- these are behaviors they can be taught to mimic, you know?
I am personally very laid back about this stuff. I let her come to these kind of milestones organically- I'll let her try if she's interested, but I don't necessarily teach her. I know most parents are more proactive, but our way is working for now