September 2012 Moms

the MIL solution achieved (gotta love DH)

for those of you who don't know, my MIL has been pushing and pushing and pushing to be in the L&D room with me when Marian is born. in fact, it is SUCH a big deal to her that DH and i have been floundering with how to get it through her head that she is NOT one of the people who will be there. it will be DH, my mom, and my sister. and that's it, excluding medical personnel. 

she also wants there to be a "family photo-op" RIGHT after the baby is born, in which all TEN (yes, i said ten) of DH's siblings ranging in ages from 20-6, both sets of grandparents, my two little nieces (2 years and 8 months old, respectively) will all gather to hold the new baby and take LOTS of pictures. in my room. right after birth. 

 that is just not happening, and we have really been struggling with getting her to understand this without her slamming her door and feeling rejected and saying that "we just don't want her in the baby's life."  

so DH has finally decided that he is going to write an email to my parents and to his parents. both will get the same email, which will be a layout of our birth plan and what we want/don't want before and after the birth. there will be no discussion on the subject -- any questions will be taken in via email to remove the stress from me. my parents are 100% on board with our plan...fingers crossed that this email will get the point across to MIL. 

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Re: the MIL solution achieved (gotta love DH)

  • good for you! that is waaayyy to many people around baby RIGHT after birth.  props to ur DH for his creative thinking. i dont know what i would do if my MIL's tried to do that id g crazy!
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  • cbj09cbj09 member

    Dear heavens I just got heart palpitations reading about all ten siblings coming into the room... You're probably going about it the best way possible! It's not like the whole family won't be able to meet the baby within the first couple of days anyway... they just need to hang out in the waiting room for a bit. Plus, I'm sure the nurses would prefer not have 15(+?) people in your room all at one time anyway! Hah!

    Good luck and definitely let us know how that email goes over!

  • I totally get what you're saying and I agree with you about the family photo-op.  That's bananas.

    But I also see how your MIL could be really hurt by not being allowed in the delivery room if your mom and sister are going to be there.  This was one of the reasons why I never considered having my mom with me.  It just did not seem right to allow one grandmother, but not the other.  Obviously your family is on-board with your plan because they have been included.

    It's definitely your choice and I hope that however you get the point across, your MIL will respect your decision.  But you can't expect her not to have hurt feelings and be upset.  What if someday you have a son and are put in your MIL's position?

    I don't know the whole story and maybe your MIL is legit crazy or abusive, but I would honestly find some way to include her, otherwise you're heading into the parent-grandparent relationship on the wrong foot.

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  • imagesuperned:

    But I also see how your MIL could be really hurt by not being allowed in the delivery room if your mom and sister are going to be there.  This was one of the reasons why I never considered having my mom with me.  It just did not seem right to allow one grandmother, but not the other.  Obviously your family is on-board with your plan because they have been included.

    I was thinking this as well....clearly it's your choice and you need to do what you're comfortable with, but to let her blatantly know in print that your sister and mom are allowed in and she isn't is kind of cold imo

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  • That sounds like a great approach--I hope it goes over well! 

    Superned, I kind of disagree. I can also understand how a MIL might feel a little hurt if the mother of new mom is in L&D, but I think that's something MILs have to get over. I feel like the birth is such an intimate thing and a challenge, that it's important to have whatever kind of support you really need (and no extra people that might cause stress or discomfort). I think I'm just going to have MH in the room with me, but I've considered asking my mom just because she's been so supportive so far and I really respect her take on the whole birth process--I think she'd be very helpful. My MIL, on the other hand, would not, I'm quite sure. While it's obviously an important time for the MILs, too, I think sometimes the grandparents in general overstep and think that they have a RIGHT to be involved in these things when it's really a decision the parents should be making.

  • Manx4Manx4 member
    imagebonjourbelle05:
    imagesuperned:

    But I also see how your MIL could be really hurt by not being allowed in the delivery room if your mom and sister are going to be there.  This was one of the reasons why I never considered having my mom with me.  It just did not seem right to allow one grandmother, but not the other.  Obviously your family is on-board with your plan because they have been included.

    I was thinking this as well....clearly it's your choice and you need to do what you're comfortable with, but to let her blatantly know in print that your sister and mom are allowed in and she isn't is kind of cold imo

    My train of thought as well

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  • imageJreidknox:
    imagesuperned:

    But I also see how your MIL could be really hurt by not being allowed in the delivery room if your mom and sister are going to be there.  This was one of the reasons why I never considered having my mom with me.  It just did not seem right to allow one grandmother, but not the other.  Obviously your family is on-board with your plan because they have been included.

    It's definitely your choice and I hope that however you get the point across, your MIL will respect your decision.  But you can't expect her not to have hurt feelings and be upset.  

    This.  We won't be having either grandmother in the room.  

    well said, SuperNed.

    It is your birth and, yes, you should get what you want. But just as you have your feelings, your MIL will have hers and has every right to be upset. 

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  • cbj09cbj09 member
    imagejbBeans:

    That sounds like a great approach--I hope it goes over well! 

    Superned, I kind of disagree. I can also understand how a MIL might feel a little hurt if the mother of new mom is in L&D, but I think that's something MILs have to get over. I feel like the birth is such an intimate thing and a challenge, that it's important to have whatever kind of support you really need (and no extra people that might cause stress or discomfort). I think I'm just going to have MH in the room with me, but I've considered asking my mom just because she's been so supportive so far and I really respect her take on the whole birth process--I think she'd be very helpful. My MIL, on the other hand, would not, I'm quite sure. While it's obviously an important time for the MILs, too, I think sometimes the grandparents in general overstep and think that they have a RIGHT to be involved in these things when it's really a decision the parents should be making.

    I totally agree with this. I have a MIL who often doesn't realize that my relationship with my mother is forever going to be different than my relationship with her is going to be. It's part of being a MIL to overcome that (of course there are many exceptions where people have awesome MILs).

    At the end of the day, you need to be comfortable giving birth, and if MIL would make you uncomfortable, she needs to be the bigger person and realize that her not being in the room is the best solution, whether its what she wants or not.

  • imagecbj09:
    imagejbBeans:

    That sounds like a great approach--I hope it goes over well! 

    Superned, I kind of disagree. I can also understand how a MIL might feel a little hurt if the mother of new mom is in L&D, but I think that's something MILs have to get over. I feel like the birth is such an intimate thing and a challenge, that it's important to have whatever kind of support you really need (and no extra people that might cause stress or discomfort). I think I'm just going to have MH in the room with me, but I've considered asking my mom just because she's been so supportive so far and I really respect her take on the whole birth process--I think she'd be very helpful. My MIL, on the other hand, would not, I'm quite sure. While it's obviously an important time for the MILs, too, I think sometimes the grandparents in general overstep and think that they have a RIGHT to be involved in these things when it's really a decision the parents should be making.

    I totally agree with this. I have a MIL who often doesn't realize that my relationship with my mother is forever going to be different than my relationship with her is going to be. It's part of being a MIL to overcome that (of course there are many exceptions where people have awesome MILs).

    At the end of the day, you need to be comfortable giving birth, and if MIL would make you uncomfortable, she needs to be the bigger person and realize that her not being in the room is the best solution, whether its what she wants or not.

    you hit the nail on the head for us. MIL is, in her own mind, super-mom. she delivered ten babies, all vaginally except for two. and while i think what she did was OUTSTANDING (do not get me wrong, please), that doesn't mean that i will be able to be her and do what she did. i am going to try for a med-free vaginal birth, but if MIL is in the room, i will not be relaxed or comfortable, and i do not need to have her comparing my birth to hers. she is legit all about birthing and babies and children, and it's almost a contest. 

    DH and i have been hitting out heads against the wall with all of this from the second i got pregnant. she believes it is her right to be in the room for all of her grandchildren's births. my mother has no such entitlement issues; in fact, she was never able to remain pregnant past thirteen weeks, and as such, this is a new and amazing experience for her. 

     

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  • Please don't think anyone is discounting you reasons or your choices. Just realize that while it is in no way her right to be there, your husband is as much her child as you are your mom's. So she is allowed to grieve about not being there (especially when your sister will be there as well). 

    And, yes, the post-birth picture is insane. I'd put the hospital on the line for that one. Ours wouldn't allow X number of people or something.  

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  • I think this sounds like a great approach to what could be an otherwise awkward conversation! I hope it goes well for you.

    With my first delivery, it ended up being such a zoo-- I really wish I had made my thoughts on who should and shouldn't be in the room clear to everyone beforehand. I wanted my SO and my mother and that was it. Fast forward to 'go time' and there was my mother, my SO (basically sobbing in the corner offering no support whatsoever because his mother was on the other side of the main door crying because she wasn't on the inside), my SO mother eventually because he couldn't handle her being upset, my SO step mother because he didn't want her to feel left out since everyone else was in the room, and my aunt (not sure how that happened?). Honestly looking back I'm surprised the medical staff even allowed so many people in the room. And of course after DS was born, we had a small army of people waiting in the waiting room to come see him, so we really had no time to spend as just the 3 of us. It was very overwhelming and I would NOT recommend allowing people in just because you don't want someone to feel left out!!

    Good luck!

  • I'm in the same situation as well. My MIL and I don't get along the greatest. She wants to be in the delivery room, but I will not allow her in there. It's going to be DH, most likely my mom, and myself. That's it. It's going to be a stressful enough time going through labor and birth, I don't need someone else in that room that is going to stress me out even more. I want this to be a happy time for me, and having her in there would make it miserable. Plus, my mother gave birth to me, she changed my diapers and raised me. Having MIL watching me give birth is a little creepy to me. I understand that she will be upset, but it's something she will have to deal with. If she treated me with respect and we had a great relationship, she may have gotten to be in there. But she doesn't treat me well, so it's a choice that she made.

    Good luck with your decision. You need to do what is best for you! I hope your MIL takes the news pretty well and it doesn't get blown up. I think your plan sounds great.

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  • imagebonjourbelle05:
    imagesuperned:

    But I also see how your MIL could be really hurt by not being allowed in the delivery room if your mom and sister are going to be there.  This was one of the reasons why I never considered having my mom with me.  It just did not seem right to allow one grandmother, but not the other.  Obviously your family is on-board with your plan because they have been included.

    I was thinking this as well....clearly it's your choice and you need to do what you're comfortable with, but to let her blatantly know in print that your sister and mom are allowed in and she isn't is kind of cold imo

    I agree.  I know that it is a very intimate situation, and it would be awkward to have MIL in the room...but I personally don't want anyone but DH in the room when it is time to push. I don't care who is there during labor, but when push time comes, everyone has got to go to the waiting room, and come back when we are ready.

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  • imagemrs.kapow:

    Please don't think anyone is discounting you reasons or your choices. Just realize that while it is in no way her right to be there, your husband is as much her child as you are your mom's. So she is allowed to grieve about not being there (especially when your sister will be there as well). 

    Ditto.

    I also have a very close relationship with my mom and want to include her in things that I would not want to share with MIL.  Negotiating the grandparent relationship can be really hard sometimes and I have often had to force myself to do things that I'd rather not do for the sake of DH and DD.  The ILs are just as much her family as my parents are, and as long as they are respectful of our parenting choices (sometimes iffy...) and responsible in keeping her safe and healthy, then they have to be included.

    Yes, your birth experience should be about what you want, but it's only the beginning of a life-long relationship for your DD and your family.  I'm simply trying to point out that you might want to consider the tone that you're setting with this birth plan.

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  • Manx4Manx4 member

    I was induced so people knew I was going to the hospital but we didn't call/text anyone that DS had shown up until MH & I had some family bonding time.  His parents were there & my mom was there.  They were able to hang out in the L&D room until it was "go time" - then everyone was kicked out. 

    They came in about 20 minutes after I had had DS, stayed 10 minutes and then were kicked back out.  I had made it clear that I wanted a good hour for things to be "just the three of us".  

    After that - it was a parade of visitors.

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  • I hear the whole "beginning of important relationships thing" but I just feel like, come on, it's MY VAG this baby is coming out of! The family can and should be involved in the baby's life right from the start, but I feel like that start can wait until after I'm spread out on a table or on my hands and knees... and I don't see how that's unreasonable.
  • Like I said, totally NOT unreasonable for each of us to make our own decisions and to decide our moms will be there but MILs will not. But that doesn't mean you totally discount MIL's feelings and act as if she's crazy pants to want to be there.  And an email to all of them plainly stating my mom is more important than yours may not be the most sensitive way to address it.

    Obviously OP has tried other methods. Some of us are just coming at this from experience and trying to play devil's advocate.  

    That's all.  

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  • imageJreidknox:
    imagesuperned:

    But I also see how your MIL could be really hurt by not being allowed in the delivery room if your mom and sister are going to be there.  This was one of the reasons why I never considered having my mom with me.  It just did not seem right to allow one grandmother, but not the other.  Obviously your family is on-board with your plan because they have been included.

    It's definitely your choice and I hope that however you get the point across, your MIL will respect your decision.  But you can't expect her not to have hurt feelings and be upset.  

    This.  We won't be having either grandmother in the room.  

     

    We are doing the same.  Actually no one will be allowed in with us.  Also most hospitals ask for a list of people allowered in the room.

     

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  • imageDolphinLover2002:

    I'm in the same situation as well. My MIL and I don't get along the greatest. She wants to be in the delivery room, but I will not allow her in there. It's going to be DH, most likely my mom, and myself. That's it. It's going to be a stressful enough time going through labor and birth, I don't need someone else in that room that is going to stress me out even more. I want this to be a happy time for me, and having her in there would make it miserable. Plus, my mother gave birth to me, she changed my diapers and raised me. Having MIL watching me give birth is a little creepy to me. I understand that she will be upset, but it's something she will have to deal with. If she treated me with respect and we had a great relationship, she may have gotten to be in there. But she doesn't treat me well, so it's a choice that she made.

    Good luck with your decision. You need to do what is best for you! I hope your MIL takes the news pretty well and it doesn't get blown up. I think your plan sounds great.

     My thoughts exactly. I would have to be extremely close to someone (ie. DH and Mom) for them to be in the room with me to experience something so intimate.

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  • imagejbBeans:
    I hear the whole "beginning of important relationships thing" but I just feel like, come on, it's MY VAG this baby is coming out of! The family can and should be involved in the baby's life right from the start, but I feel like that start can wait until after I'm spread out on a table or on my hands and knees... and I don't see how that's unreasonable.

     

    This!!!

  • imagemrs.kapow:

    Like I said, totally NOT unreasonable for each of us to make our own decisions and to decide our moms will be there but MILs will not. But that doesn't mean you totally discount MIL's feelings and act as if she's crazy pants to want to be there.  And an email to all of them plainly stating my mom is more important than yours may not be the most sensitive way to address it.

    Obviously OP has tried other methods. Some of us are just coming at this from experience and trying to play devil's advocate.  

    That's all.  

    I definitely agree it's important to respect that people will have strong feelings about all of it--it's an emotional thing for everyone.

    It's the "MIL has just as much a right as my mother" argument that I have an issue with (clearly) :P Also playing devil's advocate--I felt like the OP was getting criticized for the decision, not just the way she and her husband were handling it.  

  • Obviously your family is okay with it, they're being included.

    It's your right to decide who will be with you in the delivery room, but from the perspective of a future MIL, can't you see how her feelings might be hurt that your mom AND sister are being asked to witness the birth, and she's not?  If it were just your mom I think it would be different, but I can totally see why your MIL would have hurt feelings that you've chosen 2 women, neither of them her.  I'd think ahead to when your (hypothetical) son has a baby and put yourself in that situation. 

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  • My MIL stresses me out. And H knows that our relationship is anything but peachy [and the relationship with her and my mom is even worse], so to even consider having her in the room while I labor/give birth is out of the question. She lives out of state and won't make the trip anyway, so I'm safe there. So I kinda get where you're coming from in that respect.

    At the same time, you will probably have to deal with your MIL's hurt feelings. It's good that you and your H are on the same page about this, but you may have to do some damage control. At the end of the day though, no matter what anyone else says, it's yours and H's choice. It's on paper; she has it; now you just gotta deal with whatever she throws back at you, if anything. Good luck!

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  • imagemlf625:

    Obviously your family is okay with it, they're being included.

    It's your right to decide who will be with you in the delivery room, but from the perspective of a future MIL, can't you see how her feelings might be hurt that your mom AND sister are being asked to witness the birth, and she's not?  If it were just your mom I think it would be different, but I can totally see why your MIL would have hurt feelings that you've chosen 2 women, neither of them her.  I'd think ahead to when your (hypothetical) son has a baby and put yourself in that situation. 

     

    I dunno. When I think of my son someday having children with his wife, I wouldn't my future DIL to feel obligated to have me in the room. And honestly, I'm not interested in seeing my own lady parts torn to bits, so I would understand if she wanted to keep hers under wraps. Having a baby is an intimate thing, so I can see why you'd be okay with your mother, whom you've known for ever, but not your MIL who you've only known for X years. I don't think OP was trying to make it personal, like if she had any other MIL it'd be fine and she could be in the room...?

  • I am really surprised at all the responses suggesting that MIL has a right to be hurt by not being in the delivery room when your mother and sister will be there. Your relationship with your mother is obviously going to be quite different from your relationship with your MIL. It's not realistic to expect that you would feel as comfortable with your MIL there as you would with your mother, who raised you. I don't expect to have the same relationship with my MIL that she has with her own daughter (my SIL); they do things all the time that do not include me. It's just the way that it is -- I don't get hurt by it at all, even though I really do like my MIL and SIL. I think you are totally right to include your mother and sister and not include your MIL, especially if she is going to make you uncomfortable.

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  • imageDelaBella:

    I am really surprised at all the responses suggesting that MIL has a right to be hurt by not being in the delivery room when your mother and sister will be there. Your relationship with your mother is obviously going to be quite different from your relationship with your MIL. It's not realistic to expect that you would feel as comfortable with your MIL there as you would with your mother, who raised you. I don't expect to have the same relationship with my MIL that she has with her own daughter (my SIL); they do things all the time that do not include me. It's just the way that it is -- I don't get hurt by it at all, even though I really do like my MIL and SIL. I think you are totally right to include your mother and sister and not include your MIL, especially if she is going to make you uncomfortable.

    My MIL has two sons and no daughters.  She's never going to have the experience of going through those things as the mother, rather than the MIL.  Is that "the way that it is"?  Sure, but I think it's actually pretty selfish to think that it's okay to not consider her feelings.

    If you - anyone - doesn't want your MIL in the room, that's 100% your decision and should absolutely be respected.  But even though the birth is "all about you," there are consequences to your decision that will include hurt feelings and the potential for a strained relationship.  It's something to at least consider.

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  • imagejessk86:

    And honestly, I'm not interested in seeing my own lady parts torn to bits, so I would understand if she wanted to keep hers under wraps. 

    Who on earth would actually be down there staring at the "lady bits", as you put it?  Anyone I've ever known who's been in the room for a birth tends to stay up near the mom's head, not stare down into her vag-hole.

    Again.  I can see having your own mom and nobody else besides DH.  But to invite your sister as well kind of indicates a snub toward the MIL.  I'm fully aware that my son's future wife will likely favor her own mother and I get that, but I'm not going to say I wouldn't feel shunned if she also chose her sister to be in the delivery room and sent me an email explaining that I wasn't welcome. 

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  • Superned and I are like the same person on this one.  My MIL also only had sons and knew she'd never have the relationship with BIL's wife as she did with me, so this situation was a very real problem for us. We originally decided no moms because I and MH didn't want to choose between the two of them. 

    It ended up being a non-issue and my mother was in the delivery room with me, but given the opportunity again, I'd have MIL in there in a heartbeat.

    And I totally agree that the sister is another level of hurt to a MIL, IMO.  

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  • People are CRAZY if they think that a MIL automatically should receive the same status as your own mother just because she's your DH's mother.  If a MIL is permanently offended that you don't want her there while you push a baby out of your vagina, OH WELL.  She'll get over it.  Or she won't.  What matters more is this special moment that you can't ever get back.  Do what you are comfortable with and do not look back.  I think the email is a good idea because then it's in writing and there won't be any misunderstandings.   

    A MIL who is easily offended over this will probably cause drama down the road anyway, to be honest!  

    I usually can see both sides of an argument, but I can't comprehend the reasoning that if you invite your mother you MUST invite your MIL to be fair.   PLEASE.


  • imagewannabigfam:

    People are CRAZY if they think that a MIL automatically should receive the same status as your own mother just because she's your DH's mother.  If a MIL is permanently offended that you don't want her there while you push a baby out of your vagina, OH WELL.  She'll get over it.  Or she won't.  What matters more is this special moment that you can't ever get back.  Do what you are comfortable with and do not look back.  I think the email is a good idea because then it's in writing and there won't be any misunderstandings.   

    A MIL who is easily offended over this will probably cause drama down the road anyway, to be honest!  

    I usually can see both sides of an argument, but I can't comprehend the reasoning that if you invite your mother you MUST invite your MIL to be fair.   PLEASE.


    This x1000

  • imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:

    Inviting others into the birthing room isn't about their feelings. It's about the support and environment that the woman in labor can most benefit from. If that means relying upon her mother, who we'll assume she's spend her entire life relying upon in some sense or another, then how is that off-the-wall? And how is it unrealistic for that mother to NOT feel the same sort of closeness and reliance upon her mother-in-law, who we'll assume has been a part of her life a far shorter amount of time, and to a far lesser degree, than her own mother? 

    Forgive me if this doesn't apply to some of you who might be single mothers, but won't your DH be there too?  Just because he's not physically birthing the child doesn't mean that it's not also a profound and intimate experience for him too.  He just has to suck it up and deal with his MIL, but it's totally okay for his own mother to be excluded?

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  • imagesuperned:
    imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:

    Inviting others into the birthing room isn't about their feelings. It's about the support and environment that the woman in labor can most benefit from. If that means relying upon her mother, who we'll assume she's spend her entire life relying upon in some sense or another, then how is that off-the-wall? And how is it unrealistic for that mother to NOT feel the same sort of closeness and reliance upon her mother-in-law, who we'll assume has been a part of her life a far shorter amount of time, and to a far lesser degree, than her own mother? 

    Forgive me if this doesn't apply to some of you who might be single mothers, but won't your DH be there too?  Just because he's not physically birthing the child doesn't mean that it's not also a profound and intimate experience for him too.  He just has to suck it up and deal with his MIL, but it's totally okay for his own mother to be excluded?

     

    Absolutely it's okay for his mother to be excluded.  He isn't the one who would experience complications if something went wrong.  He isn't experiencing pain.  I get the idea that one day my son will marry someone and then what if I'm not invited - but honestly, I would 100% not expect to be invited into such a private moment.  It's not about extended family in this moment - it's about the mother and the child and what THEY need.  If a mother needs her husband there - perfect, he should be there.  If a mother needs her own mother there - perfect.  Whoever she needs is who should be included, and everyone should just go with the flow!   

  • imagesuperned:

    Forgive me if this doesn't apply to some of you who might be single mothers, but won't your DH be there too?  Just because he's not physically birthing the child doesn't mean that it's not also a profound and intimate experience for him too.  He just has to suck it up and deal with his MIL, but it's totally okay for his own mother to be excluded?

    And no one's husband has expressed concerns about his MIL being in the room during that intimate experience?  I'm surprised at that, too. 

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  • As much as I cant stand my MIL, I think its kinda cold to spell out in an email my mom's allowed and your not.  Telling her in person that you have already decided that you only want XYZ in the delivery room should be enough and then just ignore her when she makes comments.  Its not like the hospital will allow her to barge into the delivery room. In my situation, I acutally have to put in writing the only people allowed in the delivery room and they have to check in and get a bracelet to even get onto the floor.  This way if she goes to the hospital, you dont have to be ther bad guy.
  • okay, first of all, did anyone read my original post in detail? 

    -- DH AGREES with me not having her there! he and i are both beyond dealing with her drama, and she is inconsiderate to both me and to him time and time again. 

    -- this is not "cold" to write it out in an email when we have told her time and time again what we want, and she has point-blank ignored what we have said.

    -- i want my SUPPORTIVE mother in the room with me, and DH is THRILLED at the prospect of having his MIL there because she treats him with respect and they have a great relationship.

    i am really struggling to wrap my mind around those of you that are saying that i'm being mean, cold, or insensitive to my MIL for not wanting her in the room, and that i'm somehow hurting my husband by "not allowing her there." this is something that both DH and i agree on! HE is the one that suggested the email because HE knows the best way to deal with HIS mother.

    i had no idea that this post was going to cause this much controversy... 

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  • also, my sister is not only there for support, but also to do birth photography. 
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  • I think some of the replies are beyond your situation at this point. You guys seem to have done this a few ways and are in agreement here, so it's what is best. The only concern I had with your situation is the sister being included, but with the photography aspect, that is a little different.

    All we were saying was to make sure you're approaching it in the best way possible so as not to start anything off badly with MIL.  

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  • If you're not comfortable with your MIL being there while you're in excruciating pain squeezing out a baby, that's fine by me.
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    Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
  • Good luck!

     I cannot believe she would be so insistent on being there during your birth -- who wants their MIL looking at their lady bits?  And seriously, right after birth the room looks like someone has been murdered in there.....is she crazy wanting family there?  You'll appreciate the time to recover, nurse baby, and enjoy your first few moments together as a family.  :) 

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