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February 2012 Moms
btartaroind
member
For Mommas where BF didn't work out...
btartaroind
member
Do you still feel bad about it? DS is FF and I try to focus on the fact that it is nice other people can feed him, and DH can help at night, but I still miss BFing. I tried so hard, bought every contraption possible, tried every position, and it just didn't work out.
DS was formula supplemented in the hospital because of his NICU stay, so from the beginning it was hard to get him "off the bottle." There was about a week after he came home from the hospital where he BF on and off, and I still remember this one day where we just sat in a comfy rocking chair and I BF him for an hour (the only time this happened) and it makes me cry. It sounds sounds SO stupid, especially to people who do this all day every day, but it was just so special to me and still makes me upset that it didn't work out.
Does anyone else feel this way? When does it pass?
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Re: For Mommas where BF didn't work out...
I was relieved to stop bfing because it took such an emotional toll on me... so I can't help any there...
I just wanted to remind you that the #1 most important thing is that your DS is growing and thriving. You're a great Mom for making the choice to do what was best for your family.
((hugs))
212 Facebook Admin.
When I was diagnosed with post-partum cardio myopathy (5 days PP), I pretty much had to stop BF. While there were other heart medications I could take, they weren't the best that I could take ? so I decided to stop BFing. My milk had just started coming in the day I decided to stop (because that's how it guess).
I don't feel guilty about it. Trying to BF in the hospital was stressful, and DD took to the bottle right away and loves her formula. It's also nice not having to be the one always feeding her. I like the additional freedom I have.
I miss it every day. I loved BFing LO but she wasn't getting enough from me. She would only nurse with a nipple shield and fell asleep all the time no matter what I did. I went to three different LC's and nothing helped. In the end, I knew FF was best for us, I was able to pump and supplement for the first 10 weeks but it is 100% formula since then. At three weeks old she was below her birth weight so we had to supplement to keep her out of the hospital.
We did what was best for our daughter and I know with #2 (if there is one) I will try BFing again. But I miss the bonding so much. Happily, LO still prefers me to feed her and to snuggle with!
I completely understand how you feel!! My daughter was in the NICU for the first week, and although I pumped and pumped and tried to nurse her while she was there, my milk never completely came in. I tried all the different supplements and things they say you should eat and drink, but none of it helped. So for the first 8 weeks I was pumping 5-7 times a day to produce one 3 oz bottle! It was so frustrating but I just wanted to be able to give that to her. I was really sad when I finally stopped and it took weeks to not feel guilty and sad about it.
I was very sad about not breatfeeding, but now I'm just trying to focus on the fact that she's healthy and happy and even though I'm not producing milk for her she's still getting everything she needs. You're still bonding when you feed your baby even if its from a bottle instead. I've found that she drinks the best when hold her in the position that I would've to breast feed her, it seems to be the most comfortable for her and I like having her snuggled up to me. She usually falls asleep like this and I just roll her over slightly onto her belly and then she's laying across me while I burp her. I cherish every single snuggly time bottle I feed her and I'm finally okay with the fact that I'm not breast feeding.
Just try not to blame yourself for it, its not like you chose for things to turn out this way, they just did. Just be happy you had that special memory with him and concentrate on making even more memories while bottle feeding him. You'll be sad for awhile but I promise you one day you'll be okay with it and start to feel better.
I am in the same boat as you are, Hun. I am still pumping, but we have never done well as a BF couple since Seth's NICU experience. I am so disappointed that I can't EBF Seth, but at least I can pump.
Now, for you, I can say I have had your feelings in terms of the BFing and the the whole birth experience I had. I felt like you do up until I sat down and just talked to someone. It happened to be my mom, but whoever will work for you. She kept trying to brush it off as I was being silly, but I just kept saying that may be the case but that is how I feel and just kept talking until I felt better.
Ditto this. I felt like the worst effing mother on earth. I was so frustrated and exhausted. I love that now DH and I take turns feeding him. He gets to bond and I get some time to myself.
Sometimes I feel really bad when someone asks if he's BF'd and I say no. Then I'll say we tried and it didn't work for us. Last week I put my Breast Pump up for sale and when it left my house I felt huge relief. That thing just glared at me and made me feel like a failure.
But I do love that he's a big chunker and people assume it's because he's EBF. Little do they know!
DD had alot of trouble when she was first born and I made a rash decision to FF, because she wasnt eatting AT ALL when BF and they kept us in the hospital an extra 2 days because she wasnt eatting. I tried going back to BF when we got home, but she just wouldnt eat, she didnt have the strength to BF, and she had to be force fed by bottle the first 2 weeks or so.
Anyway I only feel bad when it comes to the fact that she isnt gaining weight as quickly as she should, I cant help but wonder, what if she was BF, would it be different. I always blame myself that I wasnt patient enough to help her learn how to do it.
I really wanted to, and expected to, EBF for the first six months and possibly up to a year. Unfortunately that wasn't in the cards for me. LO had a perfect latch from the get go, but my milk never really came in enough. Not for lack of trying either, we did everything the LC's suggested and more but no go. At my highest production (around 8 weeks) I was providing my daughter a little less than 4 oz in a day, and never had a pumping that was more than 3/4 oz.
We supplemented with formula under doctors orders starting at 4 days old, first using a cup, then a dropper, then finger feeder and finally a bottle. I would always nurse first, then bottle feed, and then nurse again.
At 3 months, my LO had had it with the nursing. She refused to take to the breast for two whole days and after a whole night of sobbing, I just gave up.
Sometimes I feel bad, but as my husband often reminds me, its not like not producing enough was my choice. I'm a good mom. My baby is happy and healthy. There's lots of really awful moms out there who, as he says, probably leak gallons of milk. Thats not what makes a good mom.
This all the way! I don't feel guilty about FF, but whenever anyone asks if I'm BF ? I feel like I have to explain myself. It's totally ridiculous and I know it, but I still have yet to just say "no" and move the conversation elsewhere.
I posted that link and I'm so glad you found it! I was exactly the same way with pumping/BFing. And I will try again next time, you never know!
To this day I'm disappointed that I couldn't get my supply up, but I honestly didn't enjoy breastfeeding itself. I wanted to be able to at least pump and give them BM instead of formula, but no matter what I did (teas, hospital grade pump, supplements, lactation consultants, domperidone - which I had to order from overseas! - everything anyone could think of) my supply peaked at 15oz/day and then just kept going down. But BFing sucked - the babies were preemies and didn't latch well, my supply was crap so they didn't get much anyway, it hurt, it was frustrating, and with two babies and having to BF, pump, and then FF them it was exhausting.
I think I'll always be disappointed that it didn't work out, but honestly all that matters is that our babies and happy and healthy and growing. I think what bugs me most is that very little about my pregnancy, childbirth, and the first month or so went as planned or as I dreamt when I got pregnant. But that's life
This exactly (well, except I have a DD).
This is soooo me! I have to explain the whole thing instead of saying no. Thats my guilt talking.