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February 2013 Moms
Minipenguin
member
Anyone else have a BSC MIL?
Minipenguin
member
My MIL has lost her mind. 2 weeks ago, I had some bleeding that was really scary because there was a lot of blood. OB says everything is fine, gave me progesterone but isn't worried. So MIL told me that even if we lost the babies it would be "perfectly fine" with her because "you can just replace them in a few weeks anyway".
Then she told us that she's saving money for the baby because "cribs and changing tables are expensive". So I told her she didn't have to worry about it, that DH and I had planned for the baby and had the money for everything s/he would need. She said. "I am talking about my nursery. At my house. In case the baby ever needs to stay here." ...... O.o Apparently she has cleaned out her office room and is turning it into a nursery.
Then she texted me telling me how everyone keeps telling her that she has the "pregnant glow". Now, she signed up for birthing classes "just in case" she "needs to be there".
DH called her last night to tell her she needs to back off (in nicer words, he's much more patient than I am). She cried and told him, "That girl just has so many boundaries, I don't know what I'm allowed to do! How are we both supposed to be in this baby's life?!" DH hung up on her.
Right now, I'm honestly thinking, WTF did I get myself into?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else have a BSC MIL?
Wowza!!! Thats ALOT!! We havent told either of my mother-in-laws yet (I have 2). And I cannot imagine that.....
wow!
PCOS
BFP June 3,2012
Partial Molar Pregnancy
D&C July 12, 2012
Forced 6 month break.
BFP January 13, 2013
Wow. She seems just a little too attached. It would scare me for how much worse she will get when the baby gets here.
That's great that your dh is willing to tell her how it is. Hopefully she sees that she's being a creep and apologizes.
I am so terrified of this. I am going to be a SAHM, too, so I get these flashes of me huddled in a back room with the baby while MIL bangs on the front door.
I think DH thought I was exaggerating or being hormonal until he called her and heard the crazy first hand. I'm glad he understands now, at least.
Oh, she's BSC alright. It's good that you're setting boundaries now so it won't be a shock to her when the baby arrives.
What's the geographical distance between you?
That's a lot, but it sounds like she is just excited. If she wants to make a nursery why not let her? Then when you go over there LO will always have a place to play, you'll have stuff for changing LO there, etc.
The comments about replacing a baby in a few weeks though were way off.
As for the other stuff, it's a bit intrusive, but I would let her have her first-time grandmother moment. She's thrilled for you and I think that's great. I do agree boundaries are necessary, but I don't think she sounds entirely BSC.
Wow!! News flash this is YOUR baby not hers!! Oh my gosh what a Nut job...
My MIL took her self out of the picture when DH was 16... so we rarely have to deal with her BSC tendencies.
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt89219.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
Whaaa?!?! Wow, that literally made me LOL. I mean, seriously is she for real? She signed up for BIRTHING CLASSES. I can't even type it with a straight face. That is too funny. I'm sorry, really, she honestly sounds completely crazy. At least you DH is willing to stand up to her about it.
July TTCAL Siggy Challenge - Favorite Children's Book
Surprise BFP 5/15/12, EDD 1/29/13, mm/c @ 8wks, discovered at 11wks, D&C 7/11/12
AF finally arrived on Christmas after 167 days of waiting.
TTA until January 2014
PGAL/PAL always welcome
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
/dead
at least she doesn't sound malicious - I have one of those. she is most most def BSC, though.
Lord Almighty.... pregnancy glow!?
I just realized what BSC means... I LOL'ed outloud at work...
Thanks for the giggle...
PCOS
BFP June 3,2012
Partial Molar Pregnancy
D&C July 12, 2012
Forced 6 month break.
BFP January 13, 2013
About 15 minutes.
Wow. I can definitely relate. You must set up some boundaries before the baby comes ex: how often she can visit, or your post-pardum hormones will take over! After my DS was born, my MIL showed up four and five times a day, bringing people from church and other various family members with her. If she called and I told her it was a bad time, she would come anyway. I'm serious! She didn't care if the baby had a tummy ache and we had not slept at all! Anyway, after three weeks or so it was ruining my maternity leave and the special time with my DS. My hubby and I were arguing b/c he told her to stop coming so much and she didn't listen to him. It all came to a head one morning when she came over, unannounced, and just walked in the house. I lost it! I told her that she needed to schedule visits like everyone else and that she needed to leave so we could rest. After that, she started realizing that I had a voice. Don't get me wrong, my husband was supportive, but men do not understand the hormones and changes a woman's body is going through.
My advice: set up the boundaries now. Tell her that she is welcome to be apart of your families' life but nanny services will not be needed!
Good luck!
ugh.. No hope!!
hahah I suggest getting an electric fence LOL
Also I'd make sure your front door is locked and your MIL does not have a key.
The artist formerly known as Sunbird
Read my blog! hellotarra.com
I promise this isn't me laughing at your expense... but this is damn funny.
I hope she simmers down. She sounds cray cray
EEEK!
The babes tend to bring out the crazy in the most ridiculous way. I'm sorry - I wish I could say it gets better, but with me that wasn't the case. So, here's my advice. Direct all baby "topics" to DH. Eventually, she will get 1) that she is not pregnant, 2) that this is yours and dh's baby to raise, and 3) that if needed, you will provide a pack 'n play for any possible overnights if it should ever absolutely have to happen in the future.
Other than that, take deep breaths and smile. A lot.
I'm so glad that other people agree she's nuts. It makes me feel better about being in this crazy situation.
We told her that she isn't allowed in the room for the delivery. But she keeps saying things like, "You never know when these things will happen!" and "Your water could break at any moment! We should be prepared!"
I don't know what I got myself into here. I know it *could* be worse, but it is hard to imagine atm.
That's insane.
When SIL told my MIL that she was pregnant, MIL went and brought up all the baby clothes from her kids. She didn't throw anything away. She told me she would give me all the clothes from my husband so I can put my kid in them......Sunday, she was bringing up all of their old toys for my nephew to play with. She didn't throw away anything from their childhood. Luckily SIL has gotten MIL to trade in some of the old things for newer versions....
Ditto this. My DH has a SMD moment a few years back when we changed the locks on our back door. He took a set of keys and gave them to his dad, who in turn copied them for himself, MIL and SIL. Before I even got home. Needless to say, MIL and SIL made it a habit to walk into our house unannounced. I told DH he either got the keys back or I would change the locks and not give them one. I understand that MIL grew up in the house we now OWN, but that doesn't give her free access. I also threatened to walk around MY house nekkid whenever I wanted to deter unwanted guests. They all stopped. That is, until DD was here. Then it started again.
DH took the reigns that time and told her that they had to call before they left the house (not while sitting in our driveway) to ask if it was a good time to come over. It sunk in the 3rd time she woke up DD from a nap and I lost my sh!t.
This. Y'all are teaching me so many abbreviations! Ha! My favorite was the part about the pregnancy glow. I can't stop laughing. I hate you have to deal with it this but least your husband is on your side!
15 min? Oh boy. You can either do this the nice way or the hard way. If your MIL is anything like mine, being subtle and using nonverbal communication is totally pointless. You and DH need to decide on ground rules (such as how much time LO will spending at her house, whether she can babysit, how much contact they'll have in general). And BOTH of you need to be consistent with enforcing them. You have to let her be involved in LOs life and it sounds like she's trying to be a good grandmother. You just have the same IL problem I do - she loves you too much. The way I describe it is "she's one of those little kids that loves animals sooooo much, she hugs it as tightly as she can around the neck"
I'm sorry about the birth situation. If the hospital only allows two people in the delivery room, it might be worth it to hire a doula so that DH and the doula will be the two people in there with you and MIL is in the waiting room or at home.
DS1: Quinn - 10.22.10 and DS2: Cole - 01.18.13
1) Great advice and 2) That is SO the best way to describe my MIL!
Do we have the same MIL? I know they mean well, but mine just doesn't understand why DH and I don't want to see her EVERY weekend.
Omg, that is terrible... I am so sorry you are having to deal with this!! My MIL also has already starting planning to build a nursery in her home, and she lives over a half hour away. I'm ok with that. But the birthing classes, pregnancy glow, and all the other stuff is out of bounds. This is you and your husband's child, and anyone trying to take anything away from that is not being very considerate :-(. I hope she realizes she needs to calm down and let you take the lead on how much you can handle her being involved.
Best wishes to you guys!
Move now!
My MIL went cray-cray after I found at I was pregnant. She was a completely normal human being before that. After that I could go on and on about what happened between them (IL's) and us. Our relationship is okay now, 2 years in, but I am afraid for how it's going to be the next time. I really hope they have learned their lesson.
This. My word. Thank heavens your husband is supportive of you. I hope all goes well!