Feeling very defeated and discouraged

Zanymermaid · June 2012

I just found out yesterday that our agency has eliminated its Caucasian-only program. Now we have to meet with our agency to get referrals for other agencies which may be national, adoption attorneys, etc.

DH and I have been trying to have a family for 8 years. Four IUIs, two IVFs, 1 BFP followed by a miscarriage. Now this ....

I have invested so much financially and emotionally in this venture for 8 years and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Well, we are home study approved, so that's something.

Have you ever felt like quitting? If so, what kept you going? How do you know if it's time to stop or not?

Thanks, ladies

Rachel Sonnier · June 2012

Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry this is happening and that totally sucks!! :-(

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things turn around soon :-)

c&dwaiting4ourmiracle · June 2012

I'm so sorry you are going through this and feeling so down. I know nothing right now will help make you feel better. Just know I am praying for you. I pray that God will grant you peace in whatever you choose.

IRR · June 2012

Sorry that happened. This journey is certainly a roller coaster. I must say I don't like roller coasters so I can't say enjoy the ride. The bright side is if you choose a national agency perhaps the wait will be shorter, or if you choose to use an attorney and do a private adoption you may feel that you have more control over what is going on. GL either way you choose and at least the homestudy is behind you.

kellyrn9956 · June 2012

I am so sorry. I feel like quitting this journey every day. Every.single.day. I try to remember my dream of having children, and look at being child-free as not an option. But man, do I get angry. I am actually starting to see a therapist next week. I hope it helps, but I just don't know.

kellyrn9956 · June 2012

I sent you a PM as well.

cogbot · June 2012

I'm so sorry. This process is not easy and I have felt like quitting before. However, the thought of going the rest of my life and never hearing a child call me Mom is much more terrifying than the trials of infertility and adoption.

God bless you as you move forward. Our children are out there somewhere.

ellekae · June 2012

I'm so sorry! What a blow to your plans... Sad

Sending hugs and prayers!

Amyaggie97 · June 2012

I am so sorry!

znianiswan · June 2012

Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry this is happening and that totally sucks!! :-(

mommytoconnor · June 2012

I know how you feel. I waited over 4 years and after many heartbreaking moments I decided that this was the last time I would go thru this. So I was preparing myself for not being selected. Well this time I was choosen. So My "last" time was the "magic" one. I know how heartbreaking all this is. Have you ever considered fost/adopt, or adoption thru foster care?

missred75 · June 2012

Wow. What a crushing blow. I'm so sorry. I, too, have been through many years of fertility treatments, etc. DH & I have been waiting for more than 6 years. There are times when I want to throw in the towel and just move on with my life. I feel like my life has been on hold for 6 years waiting to start a family. Eventually, I get to a point where I'm able to make a decision one way or another and move forward. Sending tons of thoughts and prayers your way. The agency that I'm working with has a Caucasian program. PM me if you would like the details.

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