family discusion, naming pressure !

TohbeeO · June 2012

This is my third, and my first two childrens names start with " T "

Since my husband and i have decided that this one, WILL be the last! Both sides of the family are pressuring us to use family names!

We always keep the gender a surprise, so i have the whole seven months left to have my family pressure me to choose "Teddy" if its a girl, and his family is doing the same if it is a boy and wanting him to be named "Timothy".

I dont mind either of those names, but i just dont see myself calling my child them.

Any ideas to tell my family members ? And give me less guilt

~Bekah

bklynbmp · June 2012

Im getting pressure for a family name as well.

You know I'm handling it? When its mentioned I say "What a great name - when you have your next baby, you should name him that!" and walk away.

You can only feel guilty about it if you think you are under some obligation to take their input. I dont feel one iota guilt about naming my own child what I want.

simplein06 · June 2012

Our canned response is we will consider it. Nobody will know the baby's name until the baby is born.

If they continue to pester I would say something like. I heard you (or aunt B or whoever) last time you mentioned it. As I said last time.... and repeat......

My mom was so not happy to find out that she won't know the baby's name ahead of time

kelly321 · June 2012

Depends on your family. If you have a polite relationship, then:

"Thanks for your suggestions. We're taking them all into consideration." (Do not say baby's actual name until s/he is born)

If you have a more say-it-like-it-is relationship, then something along the lines of:

"We'll name our child what we choose to name it. Thanks, though."

Or "You had your chance to name children and didn't choose those names. Now it's our turn, and whether we choose them or not is our business."

Honestly, though, if you don't want to name your kids Teddy or Timothy, then don't. Maybe you could make them middle names as a compromise, though? Again, only if you want.

sschwege · June 2012

Honestly this is just one of those things, where you just say, "Ohhhh, welllllll!" can't please everyone! Your child you choose the name, end of story! I guess if you wanted a way to honor a family you might consider it as a middle name if you aren't so crazy about it as a first. But truly, pick the name that means the most to you and DH, nobody else.

skychick312 · June 2012

Honestly the choice is up to you and your husband and nobody else... If your family members have a specific name they really love, suggest that they name their own child that.... You have to be happy with the name you give to YOUR child... dont let anyone make you feel guilty...

BunnyBuni · June 2012

Last week my husband and I went through literally 20,000 names and narrowed down a list of 10-15 girl names that we both agreed on. We presented this to close friends and family who already know to see if there were any on the list they also liked and almost invariably we got, "XYZ is a nice name. Have you thought of that?" EXTREMELY annoying! We tell them, "Thanks, but if you have to choose from the list, what would you choose?" I'd say try to give them some starting ideas to steer them off and maybe use a family name as a middle name.

jobiann · June 2012

That is why we aren't discussing names with family and honestly I think we are going to keep the name a secret until we've officially decided and possibly until the baby is born. Tell them thank you but it's a decision you and H will make.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · June 2012

Just tell them maybe and try to move on with the conversation. When you do decide on a name, don't tell anyone. Name the child what you want, and once the baby has a name already, there will be nothing more for anyone to say.

SPerry0376 · June 2012

I think you should do what makes you happy. "We will consider it" is a great response.

BabyShipp · June 2012

I would just tell them Thanks and that you're taking all things in consideration, but no decision yet. Even if you decide on a name, keep it a secret. Once LO arrives and you announce the name just let them know "as soon as we saw him/her we knew he/she was a/an 'insert awesome name you love here'

NechamaChayim · June 2012

You could just tell them it's none of their business.

Bride-hilda · June 2012

Whatever you choose, your families will get over it. My brother gave his name we all thought was terrible, but now that's who that kid is. They'll deal.