Pre-School and Daycare

major behavior problems with 3.5 year old...

We need help...our 3.5 yr old DS is going crazy...We have a 3 month old now, so that may have a lot to do with it...Right now he is absolutely NOT listening to anything we say..no matter the timeouts, etc...He has the worst attitude and smart mouth, he has had to quit napping because we had to switch sitters temporarily, and he still gets up at 6am-630 no matter how late he stays up or how tired he is...It is making things unbearable!!! He has also developed a lot of lying and sneaking around...Things like going into his and his brothers room and pulling out all of the diapers and squeezing all the desitin into them...pooping in his room...Climbing everywhere to get to things on top shelves, which makes me concerned for his safety...It's just like he's gone nuts all of a sudden!!! I thought he had adjusted from the shock of the baby because he hated me bad for a few weeks but has ALWAYS loved his brother...but now were dealing with this...

 Sorry this was so long...I am at my wits end...I just don't know what to do...Some of this I suppose could be normal, like him getting into things, etc...but it just doesn't feel like it...Sometimes I think maybe we are expecting too much out of a 3.5 yr old... Anyone else have any experience with issues like this? Or advice?

Re: major behavior problems with 3.5 year old...

  • I'm going through a little bit of the same.  DD is 3 and we have an almost 2 month old.  She has become very sassy and demanding.  She doesn't listen to DH and I and now starts yelling things like "Give it to me now!" or "You don't tell me what to do!".  She also started peeing on the floor and she is almost completely potty trained.

    I question whether it's just normal for this age to act out or if it's because of the new baby.

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  • 3yr olds are from the devil.  And add them to the mix w/a new baby- omg, disaster time.  Now, all kids are going to have different reactions when a new baby comes.  My oldest DD was 2.5 & was horrendous for months- if she would have been 3.5- jeebus, just kill me.  Just try to stay as consistent as possible- it will get better, but it will take time.  Don't feel bad turning on the TV w/some PBS for awhile to give yourself a break.  Or heck, multiple movies in row if it's one of "those" days.  You are what I like to call "in the fire' right now w/a newborn & a preschooler (or toddler).  It's rough.  Do whatever you need to in order to get through!!
  • My 3.5 year old is like this at times and there's no new baby in the house.  I think it's just their age.  I see it less as mischief and more as him exploring things, annoying as it is to me.  He will get all of the bandaids out and pile them up. To me, it looks like him causing trouble for me, but in reality, it's just him playing. 

    But yeah, add a new sibling into the mix and it will shake things up.  Like the pp before me said, just be consistent and try to pick your battles.  If he's climbing on stuff, try to baby-proof it so you won't have to worry about that one anymore.  They will find lots of things to drive us nuts and so we can't sweat the small stuff.

  • AZ123AZ123 member
    Is it possible that you're not expecting enough from him? a 3.5 year old shouldn't be doing all the things you're listing. What are you doing in the morning to burn his energy and direct his focus? It sounds like boredom might be causing him to be mischevious. Possibly trying to get attention too.  Try a reward chart or what I have done is things like playing with toys, treats and snacks, and tv are a priviledge so DS1 has to earn them by good behavior. Unfortunately, at that age, they require a lot of work and constant and consistent discipline and focus.
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  • I'm pretty much a lurker, but I wanted to throw something in there. DD is the same age, and I've noticed that she sleeps hard. The later she goes to bed, the earlier she wakes up, and the worse tempered she is that day. If she goes to bed a bit earlier, she doesn't sleep as hard, and gets a longer, well slept bedtime. She sleeps in a little longer, and she's got a much better temper that day. It sounds counteractive, but a friend of mine was having similar issues and upped bedtime. She said it took a few days, but her DS's temper started retreating. It's worth a try, anyway. :) GL!
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  • imagepaprika28:
    I'm pretty much a lurker, but I wanted to throw something in there. DD is the same age, and I've noticed that she sleeps hard. The later she goes to bed, the earlier she wakes up, and the worse tempered she is that day. If she goes to bed a bit earlier, she doesn't sleep as hard, and gets a longer, well slept bedtime. She sleeps in a little longer, and she's got a much better temper that day. It sounds counteractive, but a friend of mine was having similar issues and upped bedtime. She said it took a few days, but her DS's temper started retreating. It's worth a try, anyway. :) GL!

    I definitely agree with this, especially if he had to give up naps, but still needed them.  DD's behavior is almost directly related to how much sleep she gets - and she also sleeps much better on days she's in school, or has swim lessons, or have lots of park time, vs a quiet day inside (as PP said). 

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